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Category Archives: Tom

From angel to demon in seconds.

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Holy crap. We definitely have a threenager. Owen was with Tom this morning getting a haircut and wasting time until Best Buy opened. He. Was. Awesome. The whole time. He even earned a treat at Big Lots. He was the picture perfect child.

Until.

They pulled in the driveway and got out of the car. Instant tantrum.

Seriously?

Nothing had happened.

He didn’t want to take his jacket off. He didn’t want to take his shoes off. He didn’t want to show me his new gun. He didn’t want to play his game (which he had banked a lot of time on for being so good). And on and on.

We were pretty sure he was just hungry so wanted him to eat breakfast.

NOOOOOOO!!!

Okay, a snack, then?

NOOOOOOO!!!

Crackers? Your favorite?

NOOOOOOO!!!

Okay, then you at least have to go sit at the table. (Which usually is a good way to kind of trick him into wanting to eat.)

NOOOOOOO!!!

I started my count: 1…2…3. Wow, I got to three. I rarely get to three. Which means I had to manhandle him to the table. Thankfully Tom was right there so he did it.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my gawd. The tears and whining and drooling and non-stop screeching.

Owen, eat your breakfast.

NOOOOOOO!!!

Owen, please drink your milk or eat some yogurt.

NOOOOOOO!!!

Owen, what do you want to eat?

/unintelligible whining/

Owen, what do you want to do?

I’M NOT HAPPY!!!!!

/Cutting out about 10 full minutes of back and forth and lots of tantrum-y goodness./

Owen, if you don’t calm down, you’re going to your room.

At which point…he ended up in his room.

Long story short (yes, this is the short version)…about five minutes later we checked on him and he was calmed down enough to leave his room…and then he was happy as a clam and you’d never know he had even been whining.

SERIOUSLY?!

Bath Switcheroo

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So it was Owen’s bath time and he was being his stubborn self whining about everything—whining to come upstairs, whining to get his shirt off, whining to take his underwear off, whining to get in the tub, whining to let me wash his hair—though of course he couldn’t tell me why he was whining other than “Because I’m not happy.” So I matter-of-factly told him I was going to give him his bath whether he was whining or not or whether he was happy or not.

After washing his hair I was just tired of it so asked if he wanted daddy instead…and he said yes. So we switched (he had Katie) and I heard some lightsaber sounds in there and it seemed like things were going better…when Tom came out to tell me what Owen had just said.

Tom: What’s going on in here?
Owen: Mama is very very upset with me and I don’t know why.

Kids.

Poor Owen

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So for the past week or so, Owen has started whining every night when it’s time to brush his teeth. He never complains about his teeth the rest of the day, so we thought he was just being an obstinate toddler who didn’t want to brush his teeth. For the first few days anyway. Then we got out a flashlight and our dental mirror to look at his mouth…and nothing. I jokingly thought maybe he had a canker sore—and we looked—but didn’t see anything.

And he kept complaining.

And whining.

Every night.

So we looked again tonight…and damn if he didn’t have a huge canker sore (though on his lower lip, not by his tooth)! Poor kid!

Merry Christmas!

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Well this morning was…not quite what I expected. I thought Owen would wake up and be super excited about Santa…but all he wanted to do was play his Xbox game. 🙁

We excitedly said “Owen, who came to visit last night?” and in the most quiet and bored voice simply said “Santa.” Not quite the response I expected. About 20 minutes later we convinced him it was time to check out what Santa left—and he was a bit more enthusiastic. Here we are coming down the stairs to find the stockings…

And then it was off to see the presents…where he got upset because Santa ate “his” (Owen’s) cookies—even though Owen didn’t want any himself last night or this morning—and then back to happy again remembering there were presents to open.

Of course, he was happy to pose with all the presents:

And smiled with one when I asked him to:

And enjoyed playing with some of the things:

But honestly, he seemed less than thrilled with most of his stuff (though I guess to be fair, it’s hard to get excited about clothes or games when they’re in a box). I mean, he enjoyed opening them (which I guess is good enough, right?) but then they were pretty much immediately tossed aside and it was on to the next present. (Yes, I know he’s three. But it was just such a change from last year when he wanted to play with everything as he opened it). He did like a few things (meaning he expressed some awe over them—like both new Xbox Lego games, his Cars cars, and his Indiana Jones minifigs)…but the biggest hit wasn’t even from us or Santa—it was a bug vacuum and fishing rod (that you put your iPhone in to pretend fish) from Tom’s mom that were both immediately turned into guns. And an activity box that was for Katie.

I guess I was expecting too much from a 3yo, right?

And less than an hour later, he was already done playing with everything new and wanted to play the stupid xbox game I had hoped would be forgotten about with the appearance of two new games. 🙁 I feel bad that I’m a little upset, but I just keep telling myself it’s not a big deal, it’s not a big deal, it’s not a big deal because I know he’ll eventually play with everything and like the games, etc…but it was just a bit disappointing because it wasn’t what I envisioned (and you think by now I’d know better).

There were lots of smiles and fun moments, though. 🙂

We Skyped with Grandma Marsha and Uncle Rob while Owen opened the presents they sent and some from Santa and mom and dad.

We had labeled everything with big name tags because Owen knows his name, so with just about every package he picked up he said “O-W-E-N spells me—Owen” and it was completely adorable. So then it was funny when we caught him opening a package for me and we said “Owen, is that yours?” YES! “Owen, whose name is on the label?” He looks for the label, sees it’s not Owen and immediately says “I’m sorry! So so sorry!” 🙂

Katie enjoyed the tags on one of her gifts:

And Charlie enjoyed a box in the middle of the floor—and watching everything from her perch:

And he was excited about this Captain America figure…

…until Tom pressed the button to make it speak and it freaked Owen out:

And he liked his trampoline…for about 15 seconds. (That was free so it may end up being gifted elsewhere because we don’t really have room for it if he’s not loving it.)

So overall I’d say it was a success, even if it didn’t go quite as we planned.

O-W-E-N spells Owen!

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So Tom was watching football, I was at the computer, and Owen was sitting on the couch playing games on the iPad (and lest you think I forgot Katie…she was napping). Owen starts saying “O-W-E-N spells Owen. O-W-E-N. O-W-E-N spells Owen.” Tom finally looked at what he was doing…and Owen had created a new profile for a game and had typed in o-w-e-n! 😯 He’s seen me do this before and I’ve showed him how to find the letters on the keyboard, but this is the first time he did it himself! Totally on his own! Tom and I were floored.

Two quick hours.

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So I was NOT tired last night at bedtime. I tossed and turned for awhile (listening to Tom snore then not snore then snore then not snore) then finally just gave up and was catching up on email and whatnot on my phone. Until 2am. 😐 But, I figured, at least I’d REALLY be tired once I finally fell asleep and I’d sleep really well and get up at my normal-ish 7 or 7:30.

Except a loud BEEP woke us up at…4am. One of the fire detectors was apparently dying—even though Tom somewhat recently changed all the batteries. And it wasn’t on a quick beep cycle like it usually is (like once every two minutes) so it took like 15-20 minutes of waiting and listening to figure out which one it was. 😐 So by now it’s almost 4:30 so Tom just starts getting ready for work—and of course I’m wide awake from the BEEP so I hear the shower and him shaving and getting dressed and all that I normally sleep through (or wake up and hear but just roll over and fall back to sleep). At 5 I just gave up and got up, showered, and started my day.

So I get to face the day with a toddler and a baby on two hours of sleep.

Annual Christmas Photo

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It’s not too bad for a 10-minute process!! Maggie is the only one not cooperating—well, that and the flash, since I had it set for three-pics-at-a-time and my battery was dying. But it’s still a pretty good pic!

And then when we were done, Owen wanted to take some pictures. So he took this one! (Basically he just pressed the button and the camera did the rest—but he was still proud!)

Genetic Testing Results

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Today we went to UNC Chapel Hill to the Pediatric Genetics clinic to get the results of Owen’s (and Tom’s) genetic tests explained to us. (This was from when Owen had his blood drawn back in April—it takes a month or so to get the results, and then Tom and I had to get ours done and wait another month, and then it took a few months to get into the specialist.)

Previously, all we had been able to tell from the greek-to-us multi-page results was that both Owen and Tom had the exact same markers (Owen’s and mine didn’t match at all so I basically got no results for me). But the thing with genetic testing (that our developmental pediatrician told us) is that there are MILLIONS of combinations of things and the science is still so new that they maybe only know what (for example) 50,000 of the possible five million results mean. So while they can tell you something isn’t right, they can’t tell you exactly what effect that might have.

So today we got to talk with a genetic counselor who gave us more information. She still couldn’t really give us any more information on what effect the gene mutation has (like if it’s the direct cause of his autism or autistic tendencies) but she was able to tell us enough about the mutation that we can pretty much rule out it being anything serious.

Let’s see if I can explain this.

Basically, the part of the gene that has the mutation is in the middle of the chain—which is better than at either end where two chains connect (if it was at either end, it would definitely cause much more noticeable issues). So my brain worked it out as “It would be like origination and destination points of your trip are set in stone, but the route is variable. If either end changes, the whole thing changes, but if the route changes, it’s not a big deal.” She agreed it was an apt correlation.

Also, the other good point is that he isn’t MISSING anything on the strand—he actually has an extra set of something (his own plus the double set from Tom for a total of three instead of the normal two). And the set of three is fine—if there were four sets it would be a major problem. And lastly, since Tom has the identical genetic mutation and had absolutely no issues growing up (or today), it’s very unlikely (statistically impossible) that it is causing Owen’s issues.

So taking that and all his background (and our family’s backgrounds) into consideration, she didn’t see any reason to think this mutation was the cause of the autism and said we really don’t have anything to worry about. She will research it more to see if she can find anything, but she doesn’t expect to find much. She said the only time we will likely need to think about it again is when he hits the teenage years and/or wants to have kids—in case they have come up with a defining characteristic of that specific mutation or if it will have any effect on his own kids. We were told not to worry about getting Katie tested at all unless we started to notice any issues.

So basically everything scientifically is good…now I just have to get the in-home therapy started so we can work on his minor issues.

It gets me every time.

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I finally caught it in time! This is what Owen does EVERY time this scene from Tangled comes on. When you see him cover his face towards the end, that’s when Pascal (Rapunzel’s chameleon) covers his eyes as the two characters lean in to kiss. I tear up each time I watch this. :heart:

After it was over (and of course after I’d stopped recording) he said “Mama! I singed to you!”

When we watched the movie a second time, I tried to grab his hand early and he said “No! Not yet!” 🙂

When I was replaying the video for Tom (while Owen was sitting there) Owen took BOTH our hands and sang to both of us. NOT A DRY EYE IN THE HOUSE…

Lights! We have lights!

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It was a really nice sunny day so it was time to put up the lights! YAY!

We had new lights this year—the icicle lights we had at this house before were long since dead—and of course, one strand wasn’t QUITE long enough (so two would have been completely too long) but as it happened, Tom had to restring them because he started with the wrong end (even though I told him so at the start!) so when he did, he adjusted them just enough to look good! I keep dreaming about lights on the second story, but Tom has said NO WAY—though if I want to hire someone to do it, go ahead. Let me tell you…I’m tempted!

Then I had to come up with something for the porch railing because the lit garland I had hung there other years had died (and Sam’s Club hasn’t had it since) so I used some colored lights that we used on the tree last year. It took a tiny bit of finagling, but I got the two strands to fit perfectly. I like the garland a lot better, but this works.

And the tree lit up…

It’s a Christmas tree!

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Owen has been WAITING and WAITING for us to put up the tree.

Yesterday he helped me clean out the room to make space for it…and his second question this morning after his usual “Where’s daddy?” was “Where’s the Christmas tree?”

This was the unboxing:

And this is him trying to wake up the tree (since we told him it was sleeping):

I wonder what he’ll do when we eventually get a REAL tree?!

2012 USMC Birthday Ball

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The ball tonight was…a ball. It’s fun to get dressed up and get out of the house, but I literally know no one there so it’s not actually much fun (not like hanging with our good friends). It’s me and Tom hanging out during cocktail hour and me being introduced to wives I’ll only see at next year’s ball (if even then), making small talk with the three other couples at our table during dinner, then coming right home because neither of us really wants to stay and dance with people we don’t know. (Well, Tom knows them but he’s their boss so it’s not like friends friends.) I do feel bad for not enjoying it more—or I guess I should say for not making more of the experience—but I figure it’s still worth it to go since it’s something that won’t last forever and not everyone can do.

Helping daddy in the garage

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Oh, the adventures Owen has out in the garage with Tom…

First, just sitting and watching while having a snack and watching Netflix on Tom’s phone.

The scantily clad pirate is unable to lock the door with the key he found.

Right now he is enjoying playing Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures on the XBOX and one of his favorite characters is a little boy who crawls through small doors where normal characters can’t fit—and the door always squeaks. So, when he was out playing in the boxes, he says “SQUEAK!” as he crawls in.

He wanted to be closed in.

And “building” with some screwdrivers and energy drinks that he pulled off the shelf.

Police car in action!

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We got Owen’s police car out today with the hopes that he’d like driving it since it’s been awhile. And he did! I had Katie in the stroller walking up and down the street in front of our house while Owen drove along with us.

It was actually a little slow, so we had a “pit stop” so Tom could remove the speed regulator—now Owen can zip along at a 4mph clip! He was SO excited to be able to go fast!

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Now we just have to get him to understand he has to stay close to us and LISTEN to us when we yell at him to stop!

Good thing the couch is comfy.

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Tom has been sick for a few days which means he’s been snoring a little extra at night. Sometimes I can stand it (if I happen to fall asleep during a lull) or sometimes I try to sleep (which ends up to be crappy tossing-and-turning-and-waiting-all-night sleep)…so last night I just gave up at the start and went to sleep on the couch. The first time in 11 years of marriage.

It’s a good thing the couch is pretty comfy.

What a night. And morning.

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I went to bed at midnight. Owen was up at 3 (for no real reason that I could tell). Then Tom was snoring, Owen got up again at 3:30 and 4, Tom was still snoring so when Owen got up again at 4:30, I went in to sleep with him (not good sleep, but at least it was quiet). Then Tom got up about 5a and STARTED RIPPING OUT THE KITCHEN SINK. But I didn’t know that’s what he was doing until I went down at 6 to ask what the hell he was doing that was so noisy. I finally got back to sleep in my own bed about 6:30. Then I got up at 8…so I’ve basically had four hours of sleep. 😐 But I had a nice new sink and faucet installed by 8am.

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Trick or Treating

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Owen was VERY excited to go trick-or-treating. He had told us he was going to be Thor (he has both Thor and Captain America costumes) but at the last moment, he decided he wanted to be Captain America. Which was fine, except the mask that came with the costume didn’t fit (it was the one Katie wore in earlier pictures), and the mask we bought separately was heavier than the Thor mask and didn’t fit him as well…but you can’t explain that to a toddler. So Captain America it was.

And then we were off!

And then a few houses down we ran into another Captain America—the little boy he has played with before—and it was hilarious! They saw each other, got super excited, and were running around their yard together! Owen kept saying “TWO SHIELDS! HE HAS A SHIELD!” The other kid (Andrew) is about 4.5. EEK, I know.

After we hit the few houses on our street, Owen was done with the mask—and Tom had the shield to carry as well since Owen refused to wear it on his arm and couldn’t hold it in his hand, hold his candy bag, and grab treats all at the same time.

Tom went up with him to the houses this year so I didn’t get to hear his cute version of “Trick or treat” or “Thank you” but he did really well. It wasn’t too busy or crowded when we were out, which was good—but we did skip two houses that were too loud (those cackling figures and loud music) and too scary (fog machines and lots of people). About halfway through, he kept saying how heavy his bag was and how many treats he had…so we dumped some of them in the stroller. 🙂

Katie tagged along with me…no costume, but comfy as a bug!

We made it to more houses this year, but Owen declared he was done when there were still a few houses to go. We asked if he wanted to go get more candy and he said no, he wanted to go home. Okay then.

Here he is with his stash. He wanted to sort it and find matchers…but wasn’t really that interested in eating any of it. He tried a bite of a Tootsie Roll and two Milk Duds and that was it.