Katie lost almost everything in her room today.

Today Katie was invited to her friend Sophia’s and decided to paint her nails instead of cleaning her room like she’s been asked to do for a week plus multiple times today… while she was obviously supposed to be working on her room.

She has had multiple last-chance warnings about cleaning her room. She knew the consequences.

So Tom and I immediately went up with garbage bags and cleaned it out. Everything just got shoved into bags and Tom gathered all the big stuff (like her new rainbow carpet and cushy chair) and hauled it into the guestroom.

All the crap that was on the floor? Gone.

Clothes, towels, shoes? Gone.

Makeup, Legos, Pokémon cards, games, colored pencils/markers/crayons, books? If it was on the dresser in a mess or on the floor? All gone.

Anything that had been shoved in her closet? Gone.

Brand new clothes she just shoved somewhere instead of putting them away? Gone.

There was sooooo much screaming and pleading and crying. Owen was even crying about it and begging us not to do it because he loves her. But unfortunately she needed to learn we are serious. Eventually she even admitted she didn’t think we’d do it. Now she knows we’re serious.

But we heard it all from her: We are the worst parents ever. We don’t care about anyone. Everyone is going to hate her. She’s going to tell everyone at school about this. She wishes she lived somewhere else. She has the worst life ever. This is the worst day ever. She will hate us forever. We will regret this.

We did tell her she has the power to get everything back—she just has to keep her room clean and we’ll let her pick some stuff. To which she snotted back “Well there’s nothing left in here!” To which we replied “Then it should be easy!”

So this is what the guestroom looks like…again. (You might remember we did this once already. Plus did it once at the last house.) But she’s just not getting it.

Needless to say we are both mentally and physically exhausted after this 1.5 hour-long process.

If it’s not the Katie show, we’re gonna have issues.

Let me predict what’s going to happen today: Katie has had a friend here all afternoon after her birthday pool party. When she leaves, I will ask Katie to do something (anything, it doesn’t matter) and I’ll get attitude.

And why do I predict this?

Because that’s life with Katie these days. It’s like she’s really a teenager instead of just nine.

ANYWAY. FAST FORWARD.

I asked her three times earlier today to clean up her dinner garbage and each time—

I KNOW MOM!!!

—but she never actually did it so when I noticed after she went to sleep in the basement (a special treat) I called her back up and made her do it. She was pissed. And then—surprise—she DIDN’T FINISH so I called her back again. And she was just pure teenage attitude. So she lost her privilege of sleeping in the basement that night.

So she was being super pissy and stomped upstairs to her room—and decided the best thing to yell at me was “And are your ever going to clean up this pee?” (Maggie had peed at the top of the stairs in the craziness of the pre-party prep that morning and I only had time to put a towel on it. And can only go up the stairs once a day.)

So I might have yelled at her that I had been A LITTLE BUSY AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY ALL DAY AND OH YES I WAS STILL RECOVERING FROM SURGERY DID SHE FORGET THAT?

It got worse from there. I can’t even recall the things that were said on either side but I did eventually tell her I wouldn’t mind throwing all her birthday presents straight into the garbage because she certainly didn’t deserve them with the attitude she was having.

Unfortunately all my friends with girls say this is normal. And their girls do it, too.

I’m not sure how we’re gonna survive this.

Katie’s room cleanout saga

So I forgot to mention…Katie’s room got fully cleaned out about a week ago.

We had given her chance after chance (after chance) to get it picked up even a little. No it didn’t have to be perfect…but I couldn’t even make it to her bed without stepping on who knows what so I was just D.O.N.E. done. We finally gave her the final ultimatum on a Friday night. We reminded her multiple times throughout the weekend. Reminded her she was going to lose everything if she didn’t make a dent.

She kept putting it off and putting it off. So Sunday afternoon I gave her one last chance. And when she decided that continuing to lay on the basement couch and do nothing was her best choice…it was time. I grabbed the roll of garbage bags and off I went.

There wasn’t much sorting—everything from the tops of her dressers got swept into a bag. Clothes from the floor? In a bag. Toys? Bag. She made it upstairs about three minutes behind me and I already had about two bags full.

She proceeded to sit on her bed and bawl. Not even making any move to, you know, pick anything up or put anything away.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!” You know why. We’ve asked you to pick up your room for a month now. I reminded you all weekend and you didn’t do anything. We warned you what would happen—and you saw us do this to Owen’s room so you knew we were serious. This is happening because you made bad decisions.

Tom had been napping but all the drama woke him up, so then he started helping. I think it took us about 45 minutes to get it cleaned out. We did sort some stuff like Legos and took out a full bag of garbage. We found a pile of dishes. Innumerable candy wrappers. Clean clothes mixed with dirty clothes. And under everything? Horrible stains on the carpet that she had NO CLUE what it was from.

So this is about what it looked like when we were done. Bed, dressers, desk, chair, mirror, bookshelf with books, and some toys.

I wanted to take out more but I was mentally and physically exhausted. She was not happy that she lost her nightlight and Alexa. I told her if she had been that worried about it, she should have picked it up.

And then, for as upset as she was, after we were done, she was downstairs laughing and having fun with Owen. Like nothing ever happened.

Fast forward to the next day and I don’t remember exactly what triggered it, but I’m sure it was a combination of her sassy I-can’t-believe-she’s-not-a-teenager mouth and more bad behavior… after I spent the entire day trying to get those unknown stains up and failing…but I went up again and removed even more stuff. She lost the makeup mirror, most of her books, more toys, and anything that was on the floor (you thought she’d have learned that lesson, but no).

In the end, I had taken out about the equivalent of 10 garbage bags. Here it all is stacked in the guest room.

And you know what? She really doesn’t give two craps about any of it. She hasn’t asked for any of it back…except for her Alexa.

She knows why she lost it. She knows she has to earn it back.

I have made her do all the laundry we pulled out—but it all goes back in the guest room (she was allowed to pick two pieces per load to keep).

We’ve told her she can earn some other things back but she hasn’t even cared enough to attempt that. This includes Christmas presents she just got!

Of course her job is to keep her room picked up now—which shouldn’t be hard because it’s literally empty, right? Ha. She still manages to have her floor almost covered every day.

So we have no idea what’s going to happen. Do we just really get rid of everything? Make her sort through it? Make her earn stuff back?

Sigh.

When will they learn?

So this is happening.

Why, you ask? Let me tell you.

We have been seeing Anna and David quite a bit but didn’t have plans to see them today. BUT! We told the kids (like we always do) to get their stuff done early, just in case because you never know what might come up.

And imagine that—Anna invited us over for a last minute dinner. But I said we couldn’t go because Katie hadn’t gotten anything done that day that she was supposed to.

Cue tantrum tears.

Katie, pissed: YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD US.

Me: I didn’t know. I warned you to get your stuff done in case.

Katie, pleading: CAN I JUST DO SOME STUFF QUICK?

Me: No. You haven’t showered, haven’t done one minute in your room, and haven’t done your missing homework. There is no doing something quick at this point.

Katie, channeling Owen: I’M A JERK. MY LIFE SUCKS.

Me: No, you just didn’t listen or didn’t want to do the work. We warned you. I’m taking a picture so I can show you the next time and you might remember.

Good times. Good times.

I guess this is better than throwing a tantrum?

Owen has been asking and asking and asking for a specific iPhone game and we finally told him tonight that the answer was no (and explained allllll the reasons why). Of course he’s not happy so this is the note he handed me, telling me he wanted me to write him back.

Owen: I’m sorry about today and I’m a jerk and it feels like you’re being mean and you don’t want me to get Terraria.

Me: You aren’t a jerk. You’re a kid who didn’t get what he wanted. You’ll be okay. I love you. Love Mom

Lego Challenge: Day 1

I started the kids on the Lego challenge calendar because we’ve been watching Lego Masters and they love it—so figured this would be a big treat.

Ha. Hahaha. Katie didn’t want to do the first one I picked (rockets) and Owen didn’t want to do the second (pizza) do they did Rock Paper Scissors and tied like six times. Owen finally won which sent Katie into a fit because she “didn’t know how to build a rocket and she’s stupid.”

Sigh. No good deed goes unpunished.

So after some counseling, they both worked on rockets. Katie eventually gave up but Owen did finish.

I’m not sure when we’re going to attempt this again.

I have a confession to make: Today has been a shitty parenting day.

I knew it wasn’t going to be all sunshine and roses because we did have some work to do before our houseguests arrive tomorrow…but I told them if we got everything done by noon then we could go to the pool. Easy, right?

They literally had less than an hour’s worth of work to do but we are currently on hour five because they can’t stop whining and complaining and fighting and giving me attitude. And not doing what they should be doing.

They have been having nonstop fun for days and days but today, when I’ve asked them to do a tiny bit of work to prepare for overnight houseguests FOR THEIR DUAL POOL BIRTHDAY PARTY, they lose their shit because they can’t follow directions and I refuse to give in and reward them for poor behavior.

I know being a kid is hard, but being a parent on days like today is something I am not prepared for (unfortunately I have lost my cool more than once). I even shut myself in my room at one point because I just. couldn’t. anymore.

I know today will blow over, but we need to do something because I cannot go on like this.

So I need all your suggestions. I’m totally open… books, theories, classes, therapy… Whatever.

#parentingsucks #keepingitreal

Such a drama queen.

So Katie has been playing with friends since about 11am. Within 5 minutes of her getting home at 6, and being asked to finish unloading the dishwasher (one of her few household chores), she started being snotty to me, asking WHY she had to unload the dishwasher and why *I* never did it. She kept being snotty and we warned her to watch her tone or she would go to her room. Her response was “NO. I WILL NOT GO TO MY ROOM.”

So I reached out to her shoulders to turn her around toward her room, and Miss Drama Queen flings herself to the ground and starts screaming at me for throwing her. 🙄

Tom came over to get her up to her room and I tell her that we don’t need this drama queen attitude and as she is stomping up the stairs and slamming her door, she screams I AM NOT A DRAMA QUEEN. 😂😂 Yes, I burst out laughing.

Is it time for them to go back to school YET? PLEASE?

And we have a new biker!

We’ve known for a while that Katie was very close to being able to ride without her training wheels so we decided that today was the day. She whined a lot at first but she did it! (There was actually a hell of a lot of whining and drama involved. Tom has much more patience with her than I did. #teamwork)

Big brother helping teach her how to get started on her own without a push from daddy.

She wanted to be the line leader.

We went around the same lake path three times. At one point, there is a fairly decent downhill section which she did not want to ride down because she was scared—and there was LOTS of drama—so, she walked it down the first time. We told her that if she managed to ride down the whole thing she would get a new bike and that would be her birthday present. On the second time around she walked down part of the way and then rode the rest of the way. And the third time around, I was riding next to her and she was doing really well and as soon as she reached the bottom she said matter-of-factly “I get my bike now” and off she went.

Parenting is like death by a thousand cuts

Parenting is like death by a thousand cuts. #youarenotalone #itsnotjustyou

😑 We’ve told the kids literally 200 times that when you let Maggie out of her crate, you immediately let her outside. This morning, yet again, they didn’t.

😑 The same goes for putting the milk and cereal away after breakfast, yet it was still on the table this morning.

😑 Katie has “not lost” two (TWO!) pair of gloves this week. (She says she didn’t lose them but she doesn’t know where they are.)

😑 They have a chore chart to help them remember what they need to do in the morning and both of the above are on the list. They never look at the list.

😑 Owen managed to misplace his report card folder from the walk between the living room past his backpack (where we told him to put it) to his bedroom. It is nowhere this morning.

😑 We have told Owen at least 100 times that as soon as he does his required reading minutes to write them down (or else he doesn’t get credit for them). Yet again he didn’t write down the last two days so that’s 40 minutes I won’t give him credit for.

😑 Owen is supposed to show me his folder every day yet I only sometimes manage to see it the day he needs it signed, and even today he didn’t get that far.

😑 I am so tired of hearing “Why do I always have to [fill in the blank]?” the first time I ask them to do whatever.

Yeah, it’s been a long morning.

#honestfacebooking #parentingsucks

Yeah. So today was supposed to be mostly fun with the kids. But I asked them to pick up their rooms first (while Tom was at work for a bit) and you’d have thought the world ended. The amount of rudeness and sass and disrespect that came out of their mouths was unbelievable. They’ve already lost today’s planned bike ride and they’ve been threatened with losing all their yet-unpacked boxes of toys. #imdone #parentingsucks #arewehavingfunyet #honestfacebooking #tellmeimnotalone

I know I am not alone…

I know I am not alone, but please reassure me: I feel like I need a vacation from my kids because everything they’re doing lately is annoying me and I feel like all I do is get upset or frustrated and I’m becoming that mom that yells or gets mad at everything and I feel bad and I’m tired of it. #parentingishardletsgoshopping #parentingishardletsdrinkwine

This morning it was Katie practically screaming trying to turn off Alexa unsuccessfully six times in a row. Which I could hear clear as day from upstairs in my room. 

And Owen not getting in the shower when I asked and then blaming Katie for bothering him (wasting 10 minutes).

And Katie wanting to play songs on Alexa but picking songs that irritated me. 

And Owen needing me to wash his lunch container RIGHT NOW because he didn’t take care of it the previous night like he’s supposed to do. And his backup container is also dirty because he hadn’t taken care of that one, either. 

And Owen forgetting AGAIN that he needs to let the dog outside as soon as he lets her out of her crate (we’ve told him this 427 times). I told him if he can remember every thing about every Pokemon he can remember to let the dog out. 

And Katie whining when I told her her iPad time was over (after she’s been watching all morning from probably 6:30-8).

And Owen moving as slow as molasses in everything when he’s running late even though I keep telling him he has X minutes until his school alarm goes off and he has to be out the door to the bus. 

And Owen waking though the living room holding the grapes to put them away. WHY?! HE WAS LITERALLY FOUR FEET AWAY?! Oh, probably because he didn’t immediately see me and freaked out wondering where I was because that’s what he does which makes me INSANE on a good day. 

And Owen needing to hunt for his socks after his alarm has already gone off. 

And that was just from 7:45-8:45.

The day continued with almost everything that Katie did or said annoying me. Including her being nosy in my bedroom and ruining two Easter surprises because she couldn’t stop looking in bags and drawers—even after I warned her! (Which then resulted in lots of whining because she was upset that she ruined her surprises.) Lather, rinse, repeat. 

As soon as Tom walked in the door I was off duty and pouring myself a big glass of sangria. But then of course Daddy doesn’t do the playground (and it was nice out) so I was back on duty. 😐

Thankfully days like this don’t happen too often but when they do they really really suck. 

2016 Halley Fall Festival

So, it was an interesting night to say the least.

It started with deciding at the very last minute to take Katie as well. We hadn’t been going to do that and she was a little bummed but then the mommy guilt got to me and I changed my mind. We had a minor fight with Owen about what costume he was wearing—we bought him Squirtle because he really wanted to be Squirtle…and instead he wanted to wear some random skeleton costume with a mask (they aren’t supposed to wear masks) so we said he needed to wear his new costume.

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On our way…

So.

Then.

Every year thus far, Owen has had a sudden onset of shyness or nervousness when we approach the school for the festival but it was never anything bad or lasting—we’d just walk in and he’d be glued to our sides for about three minutes until he saw all the fun going on and saw his friends…and all was forgotten and he had a great time.

Except this year. He COMPLETELY freaked out and wouldn’t even set foot in the building. At first we thought it was just his normal routine, but when we tried to coerce him in, he refused. REFUSED. And got visibly upset. We tried to be nice and loving and that didn’t work. We tried tough love and that didn’t work. After 10 minutes or so, I went in with Katie and Tom stayed in the hallway waiting to see if Owen would come in the building. I talked to his teacher and she tried to get him to come in. Nope. A few of his friends went out to try and get him to come in. Nope. I tried again. Nope. It was absolutely maddening. He had a whole litany of reasons he didn’t want to come in, the biggest of which was he hated his costume, it was stupid, and he knew everyone would laugh at him and he’d be embarrassed. It didn’t matter that everyone who saw him said they loved it (I mean, Pokemon is ALL the rage!) and people had heard about the Squirtle costume and were LOOKING FOR HIM

He also said there were too many people and they’d all be looking at him. What? The kid who has no problems (anymore) of speaking in a group in front of an assembly? The kid that everyone seems to know and like? The kid who loves people? I was gobsmacked.

It didn’t matter what anyone said. He was NOT coming in and he was in full meltdown mode.

In the midst of this, I was with Katie playing the games and getting her face painted and she was having an absolute blast. (The face painter was Miss Anne, the assistant in Katie’s classroom that she also had last year and is a friend of ours.)

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Putting her name on her treat bag!

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Picking a sucker for a prize! (Bonus: notice that they reused my signs from last year?!)

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With our neighbor, Jackson (first grade).

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Getting her picture taken.

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Then Tom texted me to say he was DONE because he had just had to chase Owen down because he ran off. What the hell?! So we went out again for me to try talking to Owen—at this point he was actually in the building quite a ways so I thought I would have more luck, but nope, he was still refusing to come in to the festival. And when I tried to coerce him in again, he literally turned and ran away down the hall. Some older kids saw his costume and came up and told him how awesome it was. Nope, still not moving. Still thought his costume was embarrassing. By this point I was just done (he’d been out there for almost an hour) and told him we were done—he was either going in or we were both going to sit in the car until daddy and Katie were done. Which is exactly what we ended up doing. 🙁

So, Tom had switched places with me and had taken Katie in to the cafeteria to dance…where she had even more fun! It would have been even more fun if we were all there together. Ugh.

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A bunch of snippets of Katie dancing…and frolicking!

So, overall, Katie had an absolute blast, Tom and I had fun when we were each with Katie, and the rest was a hot failed mess dealing with Owen. We have NO idea where this all came from or why it was so traumatizing for him. Of course, now we’re worried that something else more serious is going on that we don’t know about or he hasn’t told us about…

What’s a birthday celebration without a burnt cake, sloppy joes on the ceiling, and a toddler tantrum/early bedtime?

For a special treat, I decided to make a Tres Leches cake for Tom’s cake—I’d never made one before but it didn’t seem too hard and it was a Pioneer Woman recipe so you know it’s fairly easy and should be delicious. I’m talking from scratch here, people. Like whipping egg whites and making my own whipped cream. I set the cake timer for the minimum stated time…and it was obviously too long and the edges were burnt. GRRR. I always set the timer for 10 minutes EARLIER than the minimum just in case but not today. I trimmed them off and hoped for the best.

One of Tom’s favorite meals is sloppy joes so that was an easy dinner as well—and they were delicious. After dinner I got out the cake and poor Tom lit his own candle. 🙂

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And then I excitedly tried the cake and MEH—it was nothing special. I think the cake was just too dry from being overcooked and I had only put the suggested two cups of liquid into the cake when I should have tried for more because of it being overcooked. Oh well. Tom liked it and the kids loved it but now I want to make it again and try for better!

So then we were clearing off the table and loading the dishwasher…when suddenly Tom trips and I see something flying through the air. WHAT THE…?! Turns out, it was sloppy joes. Yes, sloppy joe meat was all over the place. Tom’s flip flop caught on the edge of the gel floor mat and he tripped. The dishwasher door was fully open so he was violently trying not to fall into that so while trying to catch himself, he slammed his hand down on the kitchen island/stove…RIGHT on the spoon that was still in the sloppy joes on the stove…which sent sloppy joes catapulting across the kitchen and then, as Owen noticed minutes later…on the ceiling as well! Keep in mind we have like 10′ ceilings in the kitchen.

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Maggie cleaned up all the chunks off the floor and I wiped up after her while Tom got out the ladder and wiped down the ceiling. Then it was a matter of looking around and discovering all the tomato sauce speckles all over the place…on the cake, on the stove, on the refrigerator, on the wall… Hoo boy. I’m sure we’ll be discovering them for days to come.

Of course, I posted about it on Facebook…and I love our friends:

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So we got that cleaned up and then it was time for the kids to Skype with Uncle Rob (which had been temporarily postponed to clean up the mess). Well, Owen asked if they could put on their Halloween costumes to show Uncle Rob. GRRR. A simple request, right? Except they’d both been asking me ALL DAMN DAY to wear their costumes and I had already told them at least four times that I’d let them wear them before Halloween…just not today. So of course I was annoyed but agreed. Well, Katie had taken hers off like a kid does so it was completely inside out. She knows how to fix it, but she didn’t want to. I was still busy in the kitchen so was talking her through it—but it wasn’t good enough for her. She actually had it about 95% of the way fixed when she started stomping her feet at me. That’s never the answer, so she got a warning that she would be going to bed if she continued. She continued. So she got taken up to bed and she was a HOT MESS. (She really needed an early night—she hadn’t caught up from the late night when we had friends over for dinner plus being at the pool for three hours…)

So…HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOM! Burnt and dry cake, a kitchen mess, and a tantrumy toddler. What better way to celebrate, right? :heart:

Threenager Katie being exhausting.

Tom wonders why Katie drives me insane some days. Here’s a sample from just today, all between 4:35 and 4:56. And these are just the ones I took videos of. Some days I get this all day long, just spread out over the whole day. It’s EXHAUSTING. And frustrating. And maddening. Enjoy!

And a great screenshot from the video:

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I’m a monster, I know.

I wanted to throttle both kids by 6:45am. 

Owen went downstairs to play on the iPad—which he knows he’s not supposed to do. And then got mad at me when he got in trouble for it. (I’m a monster, I know.)

Katie had wandered around this morning and gone downstairs to find Owen and consequently couldn’t make it to the potty in time (when it was actually time) so peed all over the stool and the rug and her PJs…and screamed when I took her PJs off because she still wanted to wear them. (I’m a monster, I know.)

Owen had tried to clean up the pee—with toilet paper, so it was a sopping mess (but at least he tried!)—but after I dumped the TP I tried to clean the stool off in the tub but Owen had left the shower knob on so I got a head and shoulders full of water instead (which normally wouldn’t have been too awful but my hair is currently straightened so that messes that up).

Needless to say I lost my shit just a little bit. Dealing with that crap is never fun, but even less so before 7am. 

Learning to ride a bike is hard.

So you all know how much I hate potty training, right? Well, I hate teaching the kids to ride their bikes tenfold. It always ends up with whining and pouting and refusal to try because it’s too hard. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. But I keep trying.

So Katie finally got her reward for pooping in the potty! 

Unfortunately, as usual, she forgot that it’s hard to ride a bike and it wasn’t any fun when I stopped helping her. So there was whining and pouting…and she had to drag her bike home. (Well, part way home down the sidewalk—I’m not a monster.)

Her first pout of the day. Then bubbles. 

She wanted to do chalk. Fine, we went out to do chalk. Within two minutes she wanted to do bubbles. But not the bubble machine—she wanted to blow actual bubbles. Well, she just had a bath this morning and I really didn’t want to deal with the mess that is blowing bubbles so I said no. So she stomped off.

She got over it within a few minutes after I told her it was either go inside or do the bubble machine. She picked the bubble machine…and all was well with the world.

And some great action shots!