I feel ALLLL of these.
Category Archives: Parenting
It’s for damn sure 5 o’clock.
Ten year old girls are GRRRRRRRRRRR.
Welcome to every day of my life.
Today’s argument with Katie was about how long to microwave a large container of Panera Mac and cheese.
She said “30 seconds because it wasn’t in the freezer” and I said it would probably need at least 3-4 minutes, but start with 1:30. I hear a sigh of annoyance. She says it’s hot. I say there’s no way it can be. She brings me my bowl and obviously it’s still completely cold.
I tell her that it needs more and you would not believe the attitude I get. Like I am the biggest inconvenience in the world and she’ll do it but it doesn’t need it. I ask if she tasted it. No. Then how can you tell it’s the right temperature? She doesn’t know.
Every. Day.
I told Anna and she said:
This is like my kids having a freaking meltdown about not being able to find something and then when I ask them where they’ve looked, they haven’t looked anywhere that makes sense. Missing your shoes? Did you check in the mudroom where your shoes go? No? Only checked the refrigerator? Just gonna have a full-blown meltdown about it anyway? OK then.
We caught Katie on her Chromebook last night.
There was lots of drama—and lots of crying as she lost her scheduled sleepover. This morning we found this outside our door.
48th Birthday Adventures
As you just saw, my birthday started with an amazing rainbow eye look to match my tie dye outfit. Plus the crown of course.
But the actual adventures actually started with heading with my bestie to pick up my other bestie and then head to Kenosha!
Trying to find catchers equipment for Owen and backup mitts for Evan at Play It Again Sports. What you do when it’s your birthday and wearing a crown and a mask.
Next birthday adventure stop: lunch at Frank’s Diner! It’s been two long years since we’ve been here and it was as delicious as we remembered!
Next? Crumbl—this will be birthday desserts for us with the kids instead of cake. They didn’t have my fave cornbread ones this week, though. And yes, we ate a few bites straight from the trunk!
I caught Anna sneaking some bites in the car!
Now birthday adventures are on a hiatus but I’m cuddling with my doggo so all is well.
Birthday adventures, mom style: taking Katie to physical therapy! Ha.
Birthday adventures, kid style: watching a movie!
The last birthday adventure! A margarita by the fire…with Tom and Anna and David. With an Ozzy Man Reviews topper. It was chilly so I had my sweatshirt on and they thought it looked like a queen’s cape!
All in all, a great 48th birthday!
Katie lost almost everything in her room today.
Today Katie was invited to her friend Sophia’s and decided to paint her nails instead of cleaning her room like she’s been asked to do for a week plus multiple times today… while she was obviously supposed to be working on her room.
She has had multiple last-chance warnings about cleaning her room. She knew the consequences.
So Tom and I immediately went up with garbage bags and cleaned it out. Everything just got shoved into bags and Tom gathered all the big stuff (like her new rainbow carpet and cushy chair) and hauled it into the guestroom.
All the crap that was on the floor? Gone.
Clothes, towels, shoes? Gone.
Makeup, Legos, Pokémon cards, games, colored pencils/markers/crayons, books? If it was on the dresser in a mess or on the floor? All gone.
Anything that had been shoved in her closet? Gone.
Brand new clothes she just shoved somewhere instead of putting them away? Gone.
There was sooooo much screaming and pleading and crying. Owen was even crying about it and begging us not to do it because he loves her. But unfortunately she needed to learn we are serious. Eventually she even admitted she didn’t think we’d do it. Now she knows we’re serious.
But we heard it all from her: We are the worst parents ever. We don’t care about anyone. Everyone is going to hate her. She’s going to tell everyone at school about this. She wishes she lived somewhere else. She has the worst life ever. This is the worst day ever. She will hate us forever. We will regret this.
We did tell her she has the power to get everything back—she just has to keep her room clean and we’ll let her pick some stuff. To which she snotted back “Well there’s nothing left in here!” To which we replied “Then it should be easy!”
So this is what the guestroom looks like…again. (You might remember we did this once already. Plus did it once at the last house.) But she’s just not getting it.
Needless to say we are both mentally and physically exhausted after this 1.5 hour-long process.
She gave the hearts back.
We were having a dramatic issue with Katie (OMG she can be such a drama queen) and I found this pile outside our bedroom.
These were the hearts we wrote for her and put on her door leading up to Valentine’s Day this year.
She loves these hearts.
I asked why she did it… “I DONT NEED LOVE.” I told her to throw them away and she refused, saying she still likes them.
Kids. Sigh.
We’re down to the final hours.
Or picking up the kids from two weeks of grandparent camp. Which happens today. In a few hours.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my children dearly. But I absolutely do not miss them while they’re gone for these two weeks. Aside from the fact I know they’re having a great time with their grandparents and making awesome memories…our house is soooo quiet and there’s no whining or arguing or drama or asking for snacks and I don’t have to do any parenting, which we all know is mentally exhausting.
FYI Tom says he misses them the whole time. I say it’s because he wasn’t the only one home with them for their entire lives (minus this past Covid timeline).
Failure and Fun
Linda let us know it wasn’t all fun and games…
I asked what they were watching. First answer- nothing. Did not accept that. Another ask. Mumble. Another ask. Not a teacher for nothing.
We were watching something Bob. No clue to me. O said mom and dad don’t like it. So maybe you shouldn’t be watching it. Yah. Give me the remote. He hands it nicely. K is totally quiet, unless I ask her specific questions. Me, you lost the privilege of watching tv downstairs.
It was bedtime. K goes to her room. O asks to talk with me. Said it wasn’t really Bob (?) they were watching. Something worse…? Norman, maybe. I thanked him for being honest. Tried the why questions. Did tell him he was the big brother. Both in tears. O really meant sorry. K not so much. I have hidden both remotes for the rest of the week. Told them we would not continue to discuss it.
Fun: Nanc, Tim, Anna, Liz, and my cousin Colleen, her husband Randy, and her brother Randy came over for muffins, coffee, juice. Liz played darts with OK. They also visited. One of my cousins talked about people from Chicago being fibbers? O didn’t like it and left. They have had lunch. Waiting for ham to come out of oven. O prepped it. I made good potatoes. Mark and Julie coming for supper. Once ham out O and I going kayaking. Then to the beach. Hazy today.
And this is why I want to scream at my children.
Katie came down to get new cereal this morning and while she was digging for what she wanted on the shelf, five boxes ended up on the floor and that’s where they stayed. Plus the completely empty box to the left.
Breathe. Breathe.
We are alone. Parents are alone.
Trick, or Treat? I’m seriously asking
Every day we reacquaint ourselves with our family’s ever-shifting needs. Every day we find ourselves at a place where we have to decide who we’re going to ignore, which way we’re going to triumph and which way we’re going to fail, what risks we’re willing to take for ourselves, for our kids, for grandparents who want to visit, for strangers who sell us yogurt, knowing that the best way to love our community is to isolate ourselves from it, and the best way to love our children is to let them connect, and the best way to get through this is badly and at great cost, making a fucking mess of it every day as we spin the wheel toward a harbor on the horizon between two untethered buoys that keep lurching in the swell.
The drama is exhausting.
We had a lot of drama when trying to catch up on math homework tonight. There might have been screaming and crying. The rest off the night got better (after she had some cool down time in her room) but this was waiting for us when we came to bed.
Sigh.
This is the default reaction from both kids whenever we try to help them or teach them or tell them what they did wrong. We have no idea where it comes from (though I’m sure Katie says it because Owen does).
So I wrote this back.
Parenting is exhausting.
I just can’t even with the lying.
One of the kids cut this tumeric this morning. Both flat out deny it. I know it’s not a big deal but OMG I am furious that they can’t just admit it.
I didn’t even get mad. I told them they weren’t in trouble. I wanted whoever it was too help me decide how and when to use it. They both still denied it.
I told both of them that I didn’t care that it was cut but that because we had discussed the staining issue last night (when they first saw it and asked what it was, I told them how badly it could stain everything) I wished they would’ve washed the knife. They both still deny it.
Fast forward to that evening.
We talked to them both. We said no one was getting in trouble, we weren’t mad, we just want them to tell the truth. Both still deny it.
So then we told them they needed to talk to each other and then tell us together who did it. After about five minutes they both said they didn’t do it. GRRR.
The thing is that it’s ALL THE TIME about stupid and annoying stuff, nothing that’s a huge deal. Things that happen all the time?
- Peeing in the toilet and not flushing.
- Candy wrappers on the floor.
- Hidden food.
- Opened and eaten bags of candy.
- Glasses on every surface
It’s exhausting.
This is the pile of clothes that Katie is losing.
Why? Because I’ve asked her about six times to clear all the clothes off the floor and the dresser.
I picked out everything that was too small and put it in the donate pile. The rest went in a garbage bag which I told her she could have back if she finished cleaning up her room. She liked that idea…but it never happened. (And still hasn’t happened as of 10/21.)
Tonight’s mystery? Pineapple.
So I get home from my haircut and there’s pineapple chunks in the sink. WAIT, WHAT?!
I innocently ask about it. NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA WHERE IT CAME FROM. I say it looks like someone ate a fruit cup and threw out the pineapple. Nope, neither of them. I look in the garbage and yep, there’s a fruit cup on the top. YET STILL NO ONE ADMITS TO IT.
REALLY?! This is getting ridiculous.
Tonight I found this mess in my sink.
Both kids claimed complete innocence—like VEHEMENTLY denied it. It wasn’t a cream of mine or even a smell I recognized. I was thinking we had squatters in the attic or something (I can thank Anna for that).
Then muscle memory came back and it hit me: diaper rash cream. Which we still have around since, well, kids can’t wipe and butts get red. So then I went to their bathroom and yep, the brand new box was open and the tube was missing. Well of course she sees me in there and runs right in. Long story short she “remembers where it is” and yep, same smell. And that guilty look. Man.
So she only admitted to it since I gave her immunity (because I was honestly freaked out thinking about squatters). She said she was just playing with it and then it made a mess and she didn’t want to get in trouble. Like we aren’t ever going to figure it out?! (And I’m still not sure why she was in my bathroom instead of hers.)
We have also told both of them that it’s not the THING so much as the LYING about the thing. But she lies like this ALL. THE. TIME. I am trying to find a counselor to help (because there are other issues, too) but in the meantime, we have no idea what to do or how to handle this.
Isn’t parenting fun?
It was about time they learned how to wash dishes anyway.
Washing ALL our dishes for an undetermined amount of time because one of them is lying about things that happen during dishwasher duty and neither will budge. Owen tried to take one for the team and admit to it but he has been too adamant for too long that he didn’t do it so we didn’t fall for it.
And the look on their faces when they thought they were getting close to done and then turned around to see all the dinner dishes STILL on the table was priceless.