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Category Archives: Tantrums / Whining / Pouting

First sprinkler fun of the season!

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After yesterday’s water fun, we told the kids they could play outside in the water again since it was going to be nice—they just had to wait until after Katie’s nap. This was actually Katie’s first ever time in a sprinkler—and of course she LOVED it!

All three kids waiting to go outside! (Later, the cats were both sitting at the door!)

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I didn’t really want to get wet, so I ran inside to get my telephoto lens. Ahhhh, much better!

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It was at this point that Owen accidentally broke the sprinkler—he was attempting to jump over it but instead landed right on it. He wasn’t hurt but we told him that he had to be careful. Then Tom went over and determined that yes, it really was broken, so he turned the water off so he could unhook it while he went to look for a new sprinkler. And Owen lost his shit. He started crying and screaming uncontrollably. We tried to get him to tell us what was wrong (Was he really hurt? Was he mad at Tom? Was he just upset the water was turned off?) but he wouldn’t even quiet down enough to hear anything we were saying. We assured him he wasn’t in trouble and that it was an accident but he just wouldn’t settle down. We had about 10 minutes of what you see below. Tom did find another sprinkler and hooked it up and Katie kept trying to get Owen to come over to it, but he was still being a poop. It took another 10 minutes or so before he was finally back in the groove.

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Someone loved playing in the mud puddles created by the sprinkler! 🙂

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We almost just lost both cats in one fell swoop.

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We were busy cleaning upstairs but I went downstairs for some random thing and saw the door to the garage open about 4″. Huh?! I looked out and yep, both garage doors were wide open.

INSTANT PANIC.

Almost immediately I saw Bella come running toward me (she must have heard me) and she darted right back in the house. So then it was off to find Charlie—if she was even out. Luckily she was on the porch and didn’t jump or dart and let me grab her.

CRISIS AVERTED.

I went to tell Tom what had happened, thinking maybe he accidentally left the door ajar when he got something out of the garage but he said hadn’t left the door open, so how…?

OWEN.

Before he went to bed (like AN HOUR previously) he had a screaming crying panic attack* when he realized we weren’t downstairs with him (he was on ABCMouse) and he must have opened up the door to the garage looking for us then in his panicked state didn’t shut it.

Holy crap.

He’s going to get a lesson in door closing tomorrow.

* This is worthy of its own post as it’s been happening A LOT lately. Stay tuned.

No loafers for Owen.

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I really would like Owen to have a pair of nice shoes. I’m not talking uncomfortable dress shoes here—just a pair of loafers for outfits that don’t really look good with Crocs or tennis shoes. So today at Marshalls I found a totally cute pair of Cole Hahn (!) brown loafers for $16 (!). So tonight I had him try them on—and of course you have to exert just a bit of effort (moreso than tennis shoes or Crocs) to get them on your foot, so he wasn’t used to that (being he really only wears tennis shoes or Crocs!) and OH MY HEAVENS the whining was amazing. And of course his final (final? ha! immediate) verdict was they were too tight. And of course I have no idea if he just doesn’t like them or they really were too tight. I have a feeling he’ll never have loafers—he hasn’t yet, why start now? 😐

Today might have been my roughest day ever with Owen.

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He was a complete pain in the ass from the minute we pulled into the driveway (after coming home from the playground after school): yelling, screeching, stomping, throwing things, hitting things, hitting me and Katie, being completely defiant, being rude…

In all, he had four time outs, TV and video games taken away, early bedtime given (twice!), and eventually a few precious toys taken away which resulted in him screaming and crying. (I even had to interrupt writing the draft of this post to jump up and yell at him for smacking Katie in the face because he was pissed at her. That got him sent to his room.) And I was even ignoring a lot of his more minor events. He even had his B (which I thought would be comforting) but he was even throwing that around and saying he didn’t want it. I asked if he wanted to go up to his room to be alone and he grouched at me about that, too (before he got sent there).

It was exhausting.

When I take something away for, say, him being cranky, he seems to think that if he apologizes right away and says he won’t be cranky anymore…that he’ll get whatever I just took away (like TV). Nope, kid, that’s not how it works. You get a warning (sometimes two) and if you keep on, you get the punishment—and at that point it’s too late to recover from the punishment. And I’ve told him this REPEATEDLY and I NEVER give in so it’s not like he’s thinking I did it once so I’ll do it again. And he apparently hasn’t fully caught on that when I say NO TV, I mean NO TV. Sometimes it’s just one show he loses. But today was full on TV. But he kept asking every half hour or so—and when I kept telling him no, that would set him off again (even though I kept asking him if he remembered WHY he lost TV and he did—he would tell me because he was cranky, etc.). So then he throws a toy or throws a B or hits Katie (which are all obviously not allowed) and it just escalates. He’s actually pretty good about sitting in his time out—and we go through the whole Super Nanny thing of me telling him I love him, me asking him what he did wrong (he always knows), him apologizing—and 10 minutes later he’d be back in another time out after being warned.

Lather, rinse, repeat…for a good three hours.

I actually thought he recovered after a pizza dinner and a bath (two of his favorite things, during which he was his normal, happy self!) but then he got cranked up again while getting ready for bed (he was upset that he missed a few chore chart items—he definitely lost Show Respect today, as well as Pick Up Toys and Share) and therefore lost his snack so he was NOT happy.

WHAT. THE. HELL?!

As I was saying good night, I told him tomorrow was a new day and it would be a better day…and he said “Yes! No more throwing things, hitting mama or Katie, and being grouchy.” So we’ll see…

What’s happened to my good little boy?

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I feel like over the past few days I am suddenly spiraling out of control with Owen. There’s a lot of stubbornness and snottiness on his part and a lot of ensuing frustration and yelling on my part. Maybe he’s just becoming a normal 4-almost-5-year-old but he’s really been so good overall thus far that anything out of the ordinary really throws me. And he is definitely acting out of the ordinary. I almost feel like I’m at the end of my rope with this issue…and it’s only been a few days.

You know he’s always been VERY good about doing his chores (helping with Maggie, picking up toys, clearing the table) but lately he just flat out refuses to help pick up toys at bedtime (yes, I said help, because I do it with him). He starts playing with every toy, he starts playing with Katie, he whines that Katie is stepping on him or otherwise in his way, he suddenly can’t figure out how to put the boxes together, he whines at every step, and then he always says some variation of “I am NOT going to pick up toys…I don’t wanna.”

He knows talking back and being grouchy will lose him TV privileges (his favorite thing) but he continues to do it. He knows he won’t get his chore badge (which with enough missing badges he loses his weekly reward toy). He knows he will have to go to bed early and won’t get a bedtime story (which I reiterate every night—I remind him of it all EVERY night). It doesn’t matter. Tonight I even broke down and played the “I might have to talk to Santa card” which kind of got his attention and he said he didn’t want me to talk to Santa so I told him I’d give him one more chance… But every night he promises he’ll be a good boy the next night…and it doesn’t happen. I gave him a “last chance” while he was brushing his teeth, telling him he could stay up to his regular bedtime if he went back downstairs and picked up the toys and he interrupted me to tell me he’d just go to bed.

Of course, after having first been calm and patient for 15-30 minutes with all the repeated warnings and waiting for him to pick up toys on his own…and then with him being grouchy to me…I end up getting frustrated and yelling. It just sucks because he’s GREAT from the time he gets home through dinner…but the last 30 minutes make me want to throttle him.

We don’t have enough time to put toys away in the morning. We could try to put them away earlier in the day, but it’s hard because Katie just pulls them all out again anyway. I guess it’s possible he’s acting out against Tom being gone, but why now? Why the last few days?

I want to stop yelling. I don’t want to be frustrated. I want my good little boy back.

This sucks.

He CAN but WON’T.

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We’ve reached the stage where he CAN put his shoes on (I’ve seen him many times) but when it’s just me and him: “It’s no use! I can’t do it!” Complete with whining…and often stomping and always a grouch face. Drives. Me. Batty.

I ask if he whines at school. No.

Does anyone help him at school? No.

Then why do you whine at home and say you can’t do it? [Crickets.]

Tonight I was having him try on a new pair of shoes that were EASIER than his current shoes…and OMG THE WHINING. He barely even pretends to try before saying he can’t do it. So I told him I’d send them back because whiny kids don’t get new shoes. He immediately says “I’ll be good. I promise” (his new mantra when I threaten to take things away). Sure, until I ask him to try again 10 seconds later.

Sigh.

Owen swallowed a pill today!

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Since he flat out refuses to take liquid medicine and turns into a screaming crying snotty hot mess, we had to try something else. So we’ve been practicing swallowing mini M&Ms and he’s gotten good at that…so I decided it was time for the real thing. I’m pretty sure he has allergies (I definitely do and Katie was diagnosed yesterday) so he needs to take something.

I was just going to split mine in half (because they’re small to start so would be super small broken in half—plus wouldn’t require me to buy anything) but all the dosing info I could find said even half was probably too much…plus my parent friends said a jagged half-pill would be harder to swallow. So it was off to a Walgreens where I stood like a zombie in front of the allergy section, looking for the tiniest pill he could take. I settled on Claritin, which is actually smaller than a mini M&M.

When Owen got home from school, it was time. I set the pill down along with some of the mini M&Ms and explained he had to swallow the pill and then he could have the M&Ms. I told him it was medicine (I had debated that, but thought I’d better be honest) and as soon as he heard that, the refusals and hot mess started. Nothing I was saying mattered. Papa got to witness it and was amazed. (I’m not sure he fully understood or believed my stories about how Owen reacts to medicine.)

I told him the pill would help his runny nose. Nope.

I told him it would make him feel better. Nope.

Then I told him that daddy takes pills for allergies, mama takes pills for allergies, Grannie takes pills for allergies, and Katie takes medicine for allergies. He says “So everyone takes pills?” Yes, buddy, pretty much.

Then like it was no big deal whatsoever he popped it in his mouth, took a drink, and was done in three seconds.

Of course I made a huge spectacle about it, saying “Wait a minute. You did not just take that pill. Let me check your mouth. I think it’s hiding!” And of course I was making sure he really did swallow it. 🙂

So now I’m just hoping each day goes a little smoother…and that we work up to larger sizes (because not everything comes in teeny pills) but I’m actually amazed at how well he did.

Go, Owen!

The urge to throttle a child.

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Ugh.

We had a birthday party at a gymnastics club today for one of the kids in the mom’s group. It was scheduled for 1–2:30—perfect timing since Owen no longer naps. I was excited because Tom was going to stay home with Katie so it would just be me and Owen.

So what happens?

Owen falls asleep at 11:30. I gently start waking him up at 12:30 and it’s not happening. I get ready…keep checking on him…and finally he’s up, but he’s a HOT MESS. Whining, pouting, being grumpy and obstinate. After many rounds of “Do you want to go play with kids [his FAVORITE thing] or go to your room to take a nap [well, finish it]” he wouldn’t stop crying so I just sent him to his room.

Yes, technically it’s my fault since I woke him up but still. He RARELY naps. What the hell?!?

So I was pissed because I was REALLY looking forward to getting out without Katie AND seeing how Owen liked the gymnastics stuff to determine if we should get him in a class. And of course Katie was waking up from her nap and screaming during the middle of all this. And Tom was outside working…and didn’t really seem to care that she was up and I should have been leaving.

Tom tried to talk to Owen to get him to come downstairs but that didn’t happen, either. So there I sat. Pissed. And dealing with the screaming baby that I had hoped to get away from for two hours. Isn’t parenting fun?!

Fast forward an hour…

Owen wakes up and wants to put his shoes on to go to the party.

“Sorry, buddy, the party’s over. You missed it because you were whining and wouldn’t put your shoes on.” (Technically it wasn’t over yet, but by the time we would have gotten in the car and driven there, there would have been about 15 minutes left.)

More whining. More asking to put his shoes on. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Fast forward again…

Owen: I missed the party because I wouldn’t put my shoes on.
Me: That’s right.
Owen: Why?

So we had a discussion about how parties are scheduled for certain times so you have to be there AT that time—you can’t just decide when you want to go and think the party will still be there.

Owen: I’m sad.
Me: Why?
Owen: I missed the party.
Me: Yes, I’m sad we missed the party, too.
Owen: I’ll put my shoes on the next time.

We’ll see if he remembers.

Katie the screaming attention whore.

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So, as I’ve mentioned, Katie does not like to be left alone. But, I have to do it now and again to help Owen in the bathroom or prep dinner or something so she was kind of used to it. Didn’t love it but would get over it quick enough.

However, I think she got REALLY spoiled when the babysitters were here for the weekend. They mentioned she spent A LOT of time in their arms.

Great.

Now my life is hell. Okay, not really, but OH MY GOD she cries a lot. And I feel bad for being annoyed by it but OH MY GOD it’s annoying. Of course I feel like the worst parent ever for being (irrationally?) annoyed with the crying…but she’s not in pain, she’s not hungry, she’s not dirty—she just wants attention. And it’s a new thing (the quantity anyway) and it’s annoying. And have I mentioned it’s annoying? 🙂

We’re outside right now and she’s in her kiddie enclosure next to me screaming…so I got in with her and she stopped. I stayed for 10 minutes playing and she was happy. I get out and she immediately—IMMEDIATELY—starts crying. Sorry, kid, my knees can’t take being bent in there, I can’t let you crawl loose, but I need to be out here since Owen is in the pool. Those are the breaks. If I try to hold her on my lap the crying stops…but then she’s a wiggle worm that’s—I think, if possible—even more annoying.

This photo is therefore entitled “SOMEBODY PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!”

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And this is what we’ve had to listen to on and off (but mostly on) for the past hour.

Seriously, kid. Mama has a headache. Cool it with the screaming already.

🙁

EDITED TO ADD: She must have known I was at my limit, because I picked her up and she did this. For just long enough for me to get a picture. 🙂

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Spoiled, crying Katie

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So, since I’m a single parent this week, bath time was challenging (obviously one of us stays with Katie while Owen gets his bath but that wasn’t possible). I do leave her alone for a few minutes, but didn’t want to leave her alone for his entire bath…so the only safe place for her to go was in her crib. Which we never do unless it’s sleepy time. She’s never even been stuck in a pack-n-play except to sleep… In other words…SPOILED.

Needless to say she WAS. NOT. HAPPY. This is a compilation of about two minutes of the entire 15 minutes worth of screaming. I thought she might not mind as much if I was in with her, so kept running back and forth between checking on Owen and cleaning/organizing her room. Nope. She screamed whether I was in there or not.

But at least she doesn’t hold a grudge. This is minutes afterwards. It’s enough to balance out the earlier screaming…right?

Typical Owen Meltdown

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This is your average Owen meltdown. Typically post-nap but really it could happen any time.

In this video, he’s 1) mainly missing his daddy, talking about missing me (because I had been gone for an hour to get my X-ray), and 3) upset that he threw his chicken away. (He said he didn’t want it anymore so I told him to throw it in the garbage—which he did. Then he apparently started having second thoughts after I told him daddy was going to take the garbage out when he got home.) The very first thing in the video is him asking “What was that?” because the stinker heard the ding of me hitting Record on my phone.

Enjoy!

Separation anxiety starts…now.

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Tom and I had to run to the store tonight and likely wouldn’t be back by Owen’s bedtime. He has never had any separation anxiety…so we didn’t think anything of leaving and having Grannie and Papa put him to bed.

But apparently tonight was the night.

We got home about 10 minutes past his usual bedtime and he was still up getting a story. And he was crying. Complete with fistfuls of Kleenex. 🙁
Lin said he had been like that on and off all night, saying he missed us and he’d never see us again. 🙁 And then when he saw me he cried harder. Poor kid.

So now we need to try and desensitize him a bit before we leave for four days. 🙁