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Category Archives: Fails

I thought these would be cool. I was wrong.

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This seems like it would be super cool, right? Your face on a mask? I mean, look at how awesome the sample looks?!

And then look at what we got—still good right?

AND THEN THERE’S WHAT THEY ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE WHEN YOU PUT THEM ON AND THEY GET STRETCHED OUT!!!

Totally ridiculous funhouse mirror faces. I mean seriously? Tom and I could barely stop laughing long enough to take the photo.

We showed Katie and she even laughed like WHAT THE HELL?!

Needless to say I contacted them and complained and they said sorry, the prints are fine. So I’m done shopping with that company.

My eyes are getting sooo bad.

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I swore up and down this was Normal to Dry. I mean, I looked at it multiple times over a good few minutes. But the light was pretty low and I cannot see up close (with my contacts in) and if I held it far enough away where I should be able to see it, it was too small. And be honest, it does kinda look like Dry from a distance. I was actually on hold with customer service to tell them they sent me the wrong thing…when I finally realized it. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I need to schedule that eye appointment tomorrow. 😂

It took just four minutes.

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Well today started out okay with me waking up before my alarm and I got to have some nice leisurely quiet time before the kids got up.

And they showered without much drama and they ate breakfast without much drama and we took school pictures without much drama… And then the shitshow started.

Owen had some technical difficulties dealing with an external monitor and Bluetooth headphones and Google meets and when I asked him if these were the same headphones that he used last year he said yes but they didn’t work for Google meets then either.

YOU THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE TOLD US THAT AT SOME POINT BEFORE THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL?! (What I was screaming in my head—not what I said to him.) But he was completely losing it and this was him just four minutes in to Remote Learning. /cry/ Even though I wanted them home to be safe…THIS. JUST. SUCKS.

But things have gotten a little better since 9:04 AM when it was the worst and I think we might make it through this day without me needing to drink a gallon of margaritas.

I went outside to enjoy the weather in my egg chair…and Owen came out on a break and he seemed much better.

I lost a margarita!!!

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Tonight I called on the power of posting on Facebook to help me find my lost margarita earring. I had it at 8pm before I went to visit a neighbor for a driveway drink… (I checked my photos and I had happened to take a pic before I knew I was headed over.) I’ll look in the street tomorrow but I don’t have high hopes.

I was pointing out my ombre lip color for a post in the makeup workshop I was participating in.

After three hours of visiting and walking the neighborhood with her…

I joke about margaritas but they really are my thing. Check out my workshop bio.

I am feeling incredibly stabby today…

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and amazingly it’s not even due to the children. It’s Comcast/Xfinity.

When we called to get service at the new house two weeks ago, long story short we switched mobile service to them because we could get 50% off. Switching SIM cards would be a super easy process—basically just switching one for another. Easy peasy.

HA. HAHA. HAHAHAHAHA.

By the time we got the SIMs our house was packed up so we didn’t have access to our laptops and the process really couldn’t be completed easily on the phone. When we finally did manage to complete it there was an error and when we called the given number the wait time was over an hour. We tried this twice.

Last night, we unpacked the laptops and tried one more time, still had problems, so I tried to get on chat while Tom called. After 45 minutes on hold (and still getting an automated message that we had over an hour wait), Comcast just hung up on him. I managed to get a chat rep and and she initiated both activations. Tom’s phone worked immediately; mine did not. We were told to give it to morning.

Nope. This time I got the most idiot chat person ever–it took five minutes of waiting plus me asking “Hello? Are you there?” for him to say he was waiting for me and he needed me to verify my account (but he hadn’t asked for that). Then he couldn’t tell that a mistyped “ues” means yes and kept leaving me on hold without answering my questions and then eventually said if my phone still isn’t activated by tonight call back and escalate.

We haven’t had any issues with Xfinity internet but so far mobile service leaves something to be desired.

Tom blew up the furnace.

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Kind of.

He had to switch out our Nest and so he had been smart and took a picture of the wire setup…but for whatever reason his phone screwed up and he didn’t actually get the picture… So he was watching YouTube and winging it and it wasn’t working and the next thing he tells me is that something blew up (?!) or was burned or something in the basement.

WHAAAA—?!?!

I guess it could have been completely random but the timing was too perfect. So we had to call someone to come check it. So the poor cleaning lady had no AC for most of the time so it was probably 85° in the house (though it could have been much worse considering how hot it was). Thankfully the guy could come in two hours and it was just a $70 blown transformer and a $70 service call.

Good times.

I kind of lost it today.

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I was being so good planning what to keep out, which food was here and there, and packing some pans and plates and stuff for the new house…

Totally forgot about here.

I kept plates but nothing else. I was thinking the dishwasher had clean dishes in it…but I forgot we unloaded it. So it’s been a scramble…and we went to Anna’s for dinner.

We have two spoons and bowls for the kids’ breakfast, we’ll order food for lunch (we always do for workers), and then Chinese take out for dinner.

More Adventures in Moving, Dinner Edition

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More Adventures in Moving, Dinner Edition:

So today we moved the refrigerators around. Our fridge from the house went to the new house garage. The rental fridge came back in from the garage. So this necessitated a bunch of coolers and rearranging of food and trying to decide what to keep here and what to take over to the new house. I have done this MANY times, but today…well.

So it comes time for dinner and I had found a package of what I thought was taco meat. I mean, I even tasted it and my tired brain thought it was taco meat. It was Italian sausage. So then I dug through the freezer and found enchilada mix–perfect for nachos! Except it turned out to be potato soup (I didn’t take off the last label).

Not to be deterred I went back to the freezer and found ANOTHER package of meat that looked like ground beef – but it wasn’t my writing but I couldn’t really make it out… Yeah, more Italian sausage.

I GIVE UP. So we were gonna have Italian sausage nachos.

Except guess what? I had NONE of my other ingredients! No green onions (missing), no mexican cheese (missing), no guacamole (missing), no salsa (missing). WHAAAAAAT?????? I knew I had all that stuff which is why I picked nachos to start with! But by this time we were all starving so it was just meat and cheddar cheese nachos.

And guess what? Miss Picky Eater herself said they were the best ever! WHAAAAAT?!

And then while we were eating…we were discussing all the missing foods and how I swear I didn’t unpack them at the other house…and we discovered there was one cooler that got pushed aside in the other room. So now we have a full fridge.

What shall tomorrow bring?

Moving fun #31 —Refrigerator move day.

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A simple thing like unhooking the refrigerator turns to shit because the water valve doesn’t turn off to the fridge so we had a mad dash to find buckets and we had to turn off the water to the house and it still leaks. Only then did Tom remember from three years ago that there’s ANOTHER valve in the basement. What next?!

I hate it when Alexa doesn’t listen.

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Me: Alexa play XM channel 179.
Alexa: Playing Sports 971
Me: Alexa play Sirius XM channel 179.
Alexa: Playing Sports 971
Me: Alexa play XM channel one hundred seventy nine.
Alexa: Playing Sports 971
Me: Alexa play XM channel 1-7-9.
Alexa: Playing Sports 971
Me: Alexa play XM channel 179 stay at home.
Alexa: Playing Sports 971
Me: Alexa play Sirius XM channel 179 stay at home.
Alexa: Playing Sports 971
Me: Alexa play stay at home on XM radio.
Alexa: Playing stay home radio

This is exactly how my whole day is going thus far. (Data point? I’ve been listening to this channel for a month using the same verbiage.)

Puzzle life lesson #momfail

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So—SURPRISE!—my family has stopped helping. I expected it but it’s still annoying. 😂 🤷🏻‍♀️ I get it. They only want the easy parts but life isn’t always easy and I’m trying to teach them that sometimes they need to just power through. They’re not having it. #momfail

Anyway. This is how I do puzzles when it’s getting towards the end—all like-shaped pieces together. Am I the only one that does this? It makes it sooo much easier to find what you’re looking for. (I also kinda want to sort by colors but I’m letting that go.)

Are you yay or nay on the whole puzzle sitch?

So Owen accidentally tried to kill us all and burn the house down.

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Here’s what having kids looks like.

Owen accidentally tried to kill us all and burn the house down.

Kinda.

I had left these instructions to reheat his cinnamon roll in the toaster on a metal tray:

“Take out and put on tray [that the note was setting on] and TOAST on 3-4.”

I was getting ready in the morning and smelled something kinda burning so I went to check it out and the entire kitchen and dining room was filled with smoke that made my throat instantly hurt. I don’t know why the smoke detectors were not going off. Owen had the sliding door open but it needed way more than that. Both kids were trying to tell me what happened as I was trying to open more windows and doors while choking on the smoke (neither one said it hurt them?!) and seeing if anything was actually on fire.

I initially thought he had put the plastic container in the toaster oven (he’d done it before, hence the note) but the oven looked fine. It took me a minute to realize he had put it in the microwave. On a plastic plate. For three minutes.

I opened the microwave and was blasted with the worst burning smell. Of course the roll was was burnt to a crisp and the plate had started to burn and warp.

I tried not to lose my shit because everyone was safe and there was no fire but still trying to figure out just why he thought that’s what I told him to do while also trying to impress upon him that this was a serious issue while also still fanning the smoke so the smoke detectors didn’t go off and freezing my ass off since I was barefoot in a robe (having just gotten out of the shower).

He’s a smart kid but like any kid doesn’t really pay attention. So he ignored my actual words and did what he thought.

So now all the windows and doors are open downstairs (it’s a balmy 23° today!) and I get to try to get the burnt plastic smell out of my house for the next week.

Owen’s birthday shirt…adventure.

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Owen’s birthday is coming up next week so I thought I’d make this awesome shirt I saw on Etsy. I only had one snafu but on the bright side I learned how to do something. Do you see it?

I posted this pic on Facebook and a friend pointed out that seconds and minutes were in the wrong order. Gahhhhhhhh!! So I learned how to remove vinyl…

And then printed more text and fixed it.

P.S. If you’ve thought about getting the Cricut heat press, do it. It’s soooo worth it.

This is why I don’t do kid crafts.

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I thought I was going to be Fun Mom™ and make Kool aid play dough with them. Katie loves play dough and Owen enjoys “cooking” so it would be perfect, right?

Seriously, like 30 seconds in and I’m annoyed because they had issues getting the ingredients out. Then mixing the dry ingredients was a mess because they didn’t listen and do it gently so there was flour all over (plus I got attitude from Katie because she just. wouldn’t. listen.) and then the whining while they stirred because it wasn’t mixing in PERFECTLY like they apparently thought it should.

Katie kept whining and complaining about the smell (one was Strawberry Lemonade and one was Fruit Punch?!) saying it was “awkward” (what?!). And once it was done, Katie decided she didn’t want to play with it.

😒

To his credit, Owen was good. Katie was the one who annoyed me the most.

I was today years old when I learned…

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You aren’t supposed to burn your Christmas tree in the fireplace. Whoopsie.

I posted this pic and caption on Facebook:

When it’s time to take the tree down but you don’t want a trail of needles through the house and you love a good fire. 🎄🔥

Two friends immediately posted that was NOT A GOOD THING, but I didn’t see it because I was offline watching a movie with the fam. Then a friend called me to tell me about it. We were being careful, but we did stop burning it.

More Hyundai fun! Are you ready? 😡

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We bought the car 12/7. Two weeks post sale they hadn’t yet sent the registration transfer info to Michigan so they did it the next day (12/24). I called today to check on things and Michigan tells me we owe another $830 because the taxes were figured wrong!! So finance screwed that up.

They actually took out Illinois taxes (7%) vs. Michigan taxes (6%) so I figured fine, we’ll just register it in Illinois. Easy, right? No! Since Michigan is a reciprocal state they’ve already electronically deposited the funds… I imagine it will be a nightmare getting the money back from Michigan.

After talking more with the title lady, apparently she has to call the state of Michigan tomorrow to see what can be done because Finance says the deal is done (already funded) and would have to be fully redone from scratch?! 😳 That as far as they’re concerned the car is registered in Michigan… (Yes, even though they screwed it up?!) FFS.

So our temp Illinois tag expires today and we have no legal tag or registration–and they can’t extend it or give us another one. So they dragged their feet on things (Michigan is partly to blame, too) and we’re left hanging.

Since the title lady I’m talking to is nice I’ll wait for her call. Then it’s up the food chain at Hyundai because this is just insane.

Oh, and we go in Thursday for our actual car issue. I’m assuming that will be a nightmare, too.

What a disappointing start to something that should have been much more happy.

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OH FFS. So if you’ve been following along…we dropped off my new car to be fixed because they screwed something up between our test drive and when we drove off the lot a few hours later. It had 40ish miles on it when I dropped it off. Tom just picked it up (because I refused to go) and it now has 110 miles on it. 😳😳😳

When Tom questioned it, they were all 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️ well we had to fix it. Yes, obviously, but will they at least fill the gas tank? Nope. (Oh, and did I mention the loaner they gave me was on E when I got it.)

And they had to replace not only the tire but the rim as well. Seriously?! The invoice lists “parking lot damage” and they replaced the “WHEEL ASSY-ALUMINUM” and “STEM-TPMS.”

I posted on Facebook and a few people said to return it. Well I know that sounds easy but it’s definitely not—it’s not a lemon and they are taking care of the issue—they just aren’t handling it like we hoped they would. A simple We screwed up installing X. We are so sorry and we’re fixing it would have gone a looong way. But to claim a flat spot on a nitrogen tire on a brand new car that was only on the lot a week (at most)? And drove fine 3 hours earlier? 🤔 That’s really fishy.

Also, when questioned about the mileage, the service guy said “It said 105 when I saw it this morning.” And the mileage in/out on the invoice says 105/105 which is obviously from today when they input the info when they finally fixed it—not from the time I brought it in two days ago. How does the service guy not know they put 70 miles on it while they diagnosed it?

Again… Really? That’s the story you’re sticking with?!

And also!!! While Tom was dealing with this, I was trying to get our account set up online. While we were doing the sale, our sales guy asked what I wanted our PIN to be—I assumed it was for our account or something in the Hyundai app (no, he never told us or showed us anything and to be honest I forgot). So I try to login and… nope, no place for a PIN. And I never set up the account so I don’t know what the password is. Did he do it? Did he create some generic password like Hudson? No idea. So I had to reset the password. Annoying but fine, whatever. But then I tried to use the app and it needed a PIN…and my PIN (the one I gave him) didn’t work. And I couldn’t change it because I didn’t have the answer to my secret question…because I never created one. And I couldn’t add or change it because I didn’t know it. See the catch-22 here? So I had to call Hyundai and the rep couldn’t even get it working and it took three tries to reset everything. So what on Earth did the sales guy even do? I’m guessing nothing? But who knows because he never told us.

And did I mention that they also forgot to give us our second key when we left?! When we discovered it we called and our sales guy was adamant that he gave it to us. Turns out it was still in his pocket. We also realized when we got home that we didn’t have the any of the paperwork and so we asked about that and they swore they gave it to us. We absolutely positively did not have it so they made copies of everything for us and then later we discovered it in the glove box where they obviously put it and didn’t tell us.

I am just so damn frustrated with everything. So you know the surveys we get after a sale that they want 10s on? Not happening. Too many stupid little things and too many big things. They are going to get an earful.

Wanna guess where I am?

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Nope.

Hyundai’s service department waiting for a loaner because they screwed something up when putting on the locking lugnuts Saturday and after being here 1.5 hours already today they have “narrowed it down” to one of the tires and it might take another 1-2 hours. This is not an auspicious start to our Hyundai relationship.

That said, of course we cannot be 100% sure it was the lugnuts…but all we know is that the drive home was NOT smooth so something definitely happened between the time we test drove it and the time we left with it. The only thing we could think of was the “bonus” they gave us of the locking lugnuts.