Owen: Mama, I miss my daddy. How many sleeps until he gets home?
Me: A lot, buddy.
Owen: Like 21? 22?
Me: [laughing] No, like 150.
Owen: Wow, that’s a lot.
Me: Yes, it is.
Category Archives: USMC
Daddy’s watching you!
Owen’s deployment bear
This was a bear Tom got from the USO’s Comfort Crew for Military Kids deployment package. It had two matching dog tags included, so we’re sending one to Tom…
We tried to give it to him before but he wasn’t interested. Until today when he saw the box sitting there and said “Oooh, what’s in the box?” 🙂
Owen “coloring” for daddy…
Which is really more like playing with the crayons and talking to them and…doing everything you see here. He did eventually get something done we can send, but it was almost like pulling teeth. It kills me that he really has zero interest in drawing—he can’t be my kid!
Tom’s new room!
The guy Tom was replacing finally left so Tom got moved to his room! It’s much better as there’s only one set of bunk beds and there’s a recliner, mini fridge, and microwave!
Pics from Afghanistan
These are from his trip over and the first week in Afghanistan. He didn’t have time to write info on each photo until recently (which I wanted before posting them) so that’s why they’re a little late.
At the military airport At Cherry Point. The snack bar closes at 6pm, but they have the troops show up at 7pm and wait for 4 hrs…WTF?
Lobsters in the Airport at Bangor. Yes, fresh Lobsters. You can see the tank at the back left in picture.
Giftshop area of Ramstein military annex.
Ramstein computer area where they allow unit graffiti.
Phone bank at Ramstein
Manas International Airport is the main international airport in Kyrgyzstan located 25 kilometres north-northwest of the capital Bishkek.
My (first) room! I now have a new room but don’t have pics yet!
The door to my room.
Angle 1
Angle 2 – you can see where I sleep and sit to Skype.
Extra bed and rifle.
Our in-room A/C unit.
The gym area outside my room.
Stairs to the second level of rooms.
The door to my room.
The pathetically see-through TP.
Halloween costume!
Owen picked out his Halloween costume at Costco today as a reward for being a good boy at the hospital. I had hoped he’d go for Iron Man (since we already have the real mask and arm band) but no, he wanted Robo Knight (one of the Power Rangers). He has never watched Power Rangers (as far as I know) and really only wanted it because it was called Robo Knight. 🙂
Of course, he had to put it on for daddy.
And then of course I made him pose for me:
Edited two hours later to add: He still hasn’t taken it off!
Home again, home again.
Almost as soon as we got home and walked through the door, Tom happened to Skype. Within 30 seconds, Owen told me he had to poop! WOOHOO! So all three of us went in the bathroom (yes, Tom came with us) and…OWEN POOPED! It was still all water but he did it all on his own!!! I was amazed, really.
As we were both praising him, he gets off the potty, points to his mouth, then points to the toilet. Huh? I didn’t think much of it because he has a recent habit of being silent while mouthing words and pointing. But then he leaned over and barfed. Again and again.
One one hand…WHAT?!?!
On the other…YAY!!! He finally realized what was coming and actually remembered that we told him to barf in the toilet!
So Tom got to watch him barf from halfway around the world! And I didn’t have anything to clean up!
Owen: Can you wipe my face?
I’m pretty sure it was just the pizza plus the milk he had when he got home. I guess I should have given him lighter fare for at least a day or so.
But, as usual, he seemed no worse for the wear!
Happy 12th Anniversary!
Happy 12th anniversary from halfway across the world, baby! It feels like just yesterday but also like we’ve been together our whole lives as I can’t imagine my life before you. I love you and miss you desperately!
And this year—after a respectable 11-year run—we FINALLY ended our accidental-turned-scheduled anniversary tradition of having Chinese for dinner. Damn marine corps not offering anything remotely Chinese in Afghanistan today. Hmph.
However.
We’re possibly starting a new tradition as Tom had steak and shrimp…so I figured instead of me just grabbing Chinese take out, I’d go and get steak and shrimp as well!
However.
I didn’t really want to get it take-out (who wants steak and shrimp to cool off on the 20-minute ride home?) but I honestly didn’t want to go by myself (well, with the kids)…so I sent an open invitation to my moms group…and one mom offered to come out with me (well, plus one of her kids). So…YAY for friends! And new traditions!
That said…WOW. I don’t think I’ll be taking the kids out by myself anytime soon. Or if I do, it will be to a FAST FOOD place or somewhere we can get much faster service.
Those of you with small kids will understand—you do everything QUICKLY. You order quickly (you quite possibly even order the kids meals first), you pay the check quickly, and you’re hopefully out of there before the squirming and whining begins. But unfortunately that was not how tonight played out. I fully blame the waitress, who constantly disappeared for loooong periods at every stage of the meal. Tom and I can usually get in and out in under 40 minutes. Ruth and I were there (at the same place) for just under ONE AND A HALF HOURS. Good god.
Ruth was a godsend, though. At one moment when it was a bit of a circus—everyone was noisy, there was too much crap on the tables and nowhere to put anything, Katie had reached for the knife three times in under a minute and was spilling corn all over the floor, Owen was asking for the third time where his milk was (damn slow waitress!), we were trying to share the onion appetizer…all while trying to place our food order—she volunteered to take the kids (my two and her one) for a brief walk so I could have a breather. And then she noticed Katie needed a diaper change so she did that, too.
/sigh
Of course, Owen didn’t follow along quickly enough and then Ruth was too far away for him to chase after so he stayed with me. Then announced he had to pee…so I had to take him back to the bathroom anyway. But then I left him with Ruth and went back to the table as they took a quick roundabout tour of the restaurant and I got to eat three bites of my salad in peace.
Overall it was a great meal—the steak and shrimp were REALLY good. It may have spoiled my usual order at that restaurant as well (I have ever only ordered one single thing every time we’ve gone there). The only thing that could have made it better? To have been able to calmly and slowly eat the yummy meal in peace and quiet—appreciating the food—instead of just shoving in a random bite here and there between managing two kids. Well, I guess that’s technically more than one thing. 🙂
I am so glad to have made a few new good mom friends who just UNDERSTAND and are willing to lend a hand—or supportive meal—when it’s needed.
And on that note… I mentioned that I’d probably order steak every time I went out because I wouldn’t be eating it at home because I don’t grill. And Ruth pipes up “I GRILL!” So I’ll provide the protein and the grill, she’ll provide the actual grilling, the kids can play in the pool…YAY!
Making daddy dizzy
Tom Skyped in just now and I needed to hand the phone to Owen so I could get Katie more milk. Well, Owen doesn’t really understand that he needs to keep his face in front of the camera—he was just carrying Tom around the house. Tom kept telling him to stop because he was getting dizzy (all he could see was the walls and ceiling fan bobbing around). I finally came back and made Owen stand still.
Just like Owen…and daddy!
I found an old box of Owen’s saved clothes and this cammie jumper was in there. As soon as Owen saw it he said “Hey! That’s just like daddy!”
Unfortunately, I can’t find a picture of Owen in it for comparison! 🙁
He made it!
Our first brief Skype:
He popped up in gmail instant messaging asking where I was. I asked where HE was! He meant he was trying to connect on Skype but I wasn’t logged on. My laptop lost its webcam somehow so I can only use the iPad, iPhone, or desktop computer…so I logged on with my phone!
It was just about two minutes—long enough to say he got there with no issues and he loves us! The connection wasn’t great—there was a big lag and I could still only make out about half of what he said. But it’s a start!
I love technology. 🙂
He’s in the air!
He called from the airport around 10 and then texted around 11:45 to let me know they were on the plane. So now it’s just a waiting game to see when he gets time and/or service to let me know what’s going on.
The bus is leaving.
Tom just texted that they are heading out.
When I showed Owen the picture and asked him to find daddy—he giggled like a crazy person when he saw him! 🙂
Goodbyes
Tom’s unit wasn’t scheduled to depart until 6:30-7, but we went about 4:30 because the waiting was just THE WORST. I knew we wouldn’t stay the entire time (to actually see them off) because I knew I couldn’t keep from breaking down that long. And it was about eleventy billion degrees and humid and the kids needed to eat dinner. Tom was perfectly okay with an early goodbye.
This is what the staging area looked like (forgive the bad pictures—I only had my phone)—piles and piles of bags and gear, hundreds of people, and lots of trucks.
Of course, now that Katie can walk, she really did NOT want to be held…so we just let her roam and she had a blast. She had a few tumbles because the ground was fairly uneven—but she didn’t let that stop her!
More than a few people commented on how cute she was, how cute her dress was, and how good she was at walking.
That’s Tom taking her picture.
Then as I was trying to get a picture of Tom and Katie, one of Tom’s buddies stepped in to take a family picture. Amazingly, he took two and one was halfway good!
Hugging daddy before getting in the car. I know he understands that Tom is leaving, but I really thought he’d be a bit more emotional—but he seemed kind of lackadaisical about it.
Then Tom and I hugged and kissed goodbye, he walked off, and I got in the car…and Owen started crying. 🙁 I got out to give him some tissue and a kiss, and of course seeing him break down made it worse for me…
THANKFULLY it didn’t last too long—we passed by a playground on the way off base and he said he wanted to go! Well, it was too late for that one (I wanted to be closer to home if either of them got tantrum-y) so I took a different route home so we could stop at a playground…
Dressed up to see daddy off
The cute dress was a gift from (I think) Grannie Lin. I had to get her in it before she outgrew it (it’s size 12m). We just don’t often have the opportunity to wear dresses!
It’s okay, mom.
So Tom just drove off. He has to be in early to drop off all his bags and pick up his weapon, etc. (We go in at 6 to see him off.)
Of course, I’m an emotional wreck today, so cried after he left.
Owen: Mama, what’s wrong?
Me: I miss daddy.
Owen: [Singing, from Daniel Tiger] Grooo-oooown-ups come back!
Me: You’re right. Can I have a hug?
We hug. I’m still crying.
Owen: It’s okay mom.
/bawl
It’s the stupid little things.
Tom leaving is always hard, and as the time draws nearer, it gets exponentially harder. But there are stupid little things that you don’t think about or don’t expect.
One of Owen’s random cartoons this morning (that we’ve never watched before) played Pachelbel’s Canon in D. SERIOUSLY?!? A song from our wedding? The day he leaves? Sure, THAT won’t set me off. 😐
Tom’s side of the bed cleaned up.
His side of the sink cleaned out.
His stuff not in the shower.
His shoes not on the rack.
The remnants of his last-minute packing on the kitchen table.
The random shirt hanging over the tub.
It’s seemingly never ending.
After a few days none of it will really bother me, but for now…it really sucks.
Last family dinner
What else but sushi…since it’s not really something Tom can get over there!
And Katie tried the pickled ginger! And ate a few pieces!
Last family photos
I had grand plans of hiring a photographer to take a real family portrait before Tom left…but that obviously never happened. So I had to make do with a last-minute haphazard couch photo shoot before we went out for dinner.
How Katie likes sitting with Tom.
*This post also introduces a new acronym for photo tagging purposes: JTOK (Jen Tom Owen Katie). I’ll be going back and tagging old family photos. 🙂
Helping daddy pack
This is what pre-packing looks like.
This is the part I don’t like seeing because it means it’s really happening…and happening soon. 🙁
I hate when shit gets real.
Tom told me his finalized departure date tonight…right before he fell asleep…and it’s just REALLY hitting home now and it’s all I can do to not have my ugly cry right now. In bed. With his arm around me. 🙁
We have 12 days. August 8.
I hate when shit gets real.
Daddy’s Deployed Book
So, in addition to the Daddy Dolls, I also got Owen a personalized book called Daddy’s Deployed. Of course I had it for two months before I could even bear to read it myself…and then I made Tom read it to Owen the first time because I knew I wouldn’t be able to get through it without crying (I was sitting behind Owen so he couldn’t see me). Owen did pretty well during the story, but did get a little teary and sad. Especially on the page where we’re all saying goodbye to daddy with sad faces. 🙁
But he asked to read it again the next night…and it was up to me. I steeled myself and got through it…even with Owen being sad again.
He’s also been sad on and off throughout the day for a few days now…back to saying how much he misses his daddy. 🙁 Thankfully it’s not as bad as its been in the past…but I’m keeping my fingers crossed anyway.
So then this afternoon Tom overheard Owen playing:
Owen: When daddy is deployed we are going to send him letters and packages and call and Skype and he will love it!
Awwww.
Daddy Dolls
We decided to get the kids Daddy Dolls and this morning was the deployment, so-to-speak. I thought Owen would be THRILLED…but as you can see, he was LESS than thrilled…even asking for another surprise.
However, he eventually did like it…
And even co-opted Katie’s doll…
Throughout the day, he kept going back to his doll, saying he was “going to go get his surprise.” 🙂
Katie, of course, chewed daddy’s face—since everything goes in her mouth (I didn’t get a good picture of it), but she did play with it later in the day.
Afghanistan is looming…
Well, the time is drawing near…we’re down to about 2–3 weeks. The original departure date was around August 1–5 but Tom has said that it might be a few days later. As far as I’m concerned, they can just as easily say it will be a few days earlier so I take every piece of news with a grain of salt.
That said, right now, the plan is for Tom to be gone about eight months. I still can’t believe I have two kids this time around. Looking back, 13 months by myself was a piece of cake compared to what I have in front of me this time (believe me, even though I’m glad it’s only eight and not 12 or 13 months…it will still feel like a LOOOONG time). Of course there is a SLIGHT chance he could be home earlier—but he’ll have no idea until after he gets there and things start moving along. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that he’ll be home by Owen’s fifth birthday (February 2) but of course (!) I don’t plan on it. There’s that grain of salt thing again. (Also, return dates as early as December have been tossed around but I have ZERO hope of those happening. I take that one with a salt shaker’s worth of salt.)
Owen still seems to be doing okay. Every once in awhile he’ll say he doesn’t want daddy to go away and that he’ll miss him. I tell him I will miss him, too—and that daddy will definitely miss us. I asked if he wanted to see on a map where daddy would be and he said yes—but didn’t really seem that interested (though I’m really thinking he just couldn’t comprehend it). We’ll keep trying. We also have a big calendar to X off each day—since you can’t really expect him to understand MONTHS of time.
I do have Tom’s actual address already and will be emailing it to family but will post it on the Afghanistan Info page (linked in the static menu bar above) once he actually arrives there. There is also a new Goodies page and a USPS Shipping page linked as well.
The Deployment Talk
So I had been DREADING this talk. We all know how much Owen loves his daddy and misses him when he’s just at work for the day…
We ordered the Sesame Street Deployment video (Elmo’s daddy goes away to help people, Elmo’s mommy stays home) and watched it ahead of time—and I couldn’t make it through without crying (but then, the last month is the most emotional for me).
So at breakfast, we finally told Owen about Tom leaving and Owen’s immediate response was “But I don’t want you to go. I will miss you.” Tom assured him that he would miss him, too. We told him it was like when daddy had to go to school before and was gone for a lot of days, but this time he was going farther away and wouldn’t be able to come home on the weekends. Owen told Tom that he would go to school, too. 🙂
Then we showed him the Sesame Street video…and he seems okay so far. It just seemed like any other Sesame Street episode to him. But now out of nowhere he’ll say “Elmo’s mommy stays home.” And I reassure him yes, Elmo’s mommy stays home—just like I will be here with him and Katie. I also repeat “Grown ups come back” (which is from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood when Daniel Tiger doesn’t want his parents to go out for the night—the babysitter tells him that grown ups always come back).
I’m sure there will be worse times…but for now—when I’M still fragile—I’ll take his nonchalance.
In the field
I thought it might be interesting to post the pics Tom sent me during his week in the field back at the end of April.
This exercise had 150 marines in the field for a week.
Getting ready to get in the humvees for the convoy.
In the humvee. You must wear a helmet and flak jacket.
The first stage of the convoy.
Close-up of the humvee.
Setting up the COC (command operation center).
The setup, which is built from scratch upon arrival. This is about half of it.
Taking a time out to get a picture of a cool butterfly.
MRE cakes. Yes, full cakes with frosting. Which we now have four of in our garage because Tom thought it would be cool to have them. 🙂 Be warned.
Inventory after the exercise is over. No one can leave until EVERYTHING is accounted for.
The General’s Dinner
A few months ago we went to a USMC charity event called Basket Bingo and a group of us bid on—and won—a five-course dinner at the general’s house. Well, it was tonight.
Our good friends happened to be behind us coming on base—and we were quite early—so we stopped by the water to take some pictures. It was just a little windy.
Karen and Tom
The first couples to arrive.
FIRST COURSE (appetizers on the back deck)
Watermelon tequila shooters
Brie toasts with papaya salad
Chicken satay skewers with chocolate BBQ sauce
Mojitos
Our Hosts, General & Mrs. Lukeman
The table setting.
SECOND COURSE
Plantain soup
THIRD COURSE
Mélange of jumbo lump crab, mango, and avocado in a tropical fruit purée
FOURTH COURSE
Island pork tenderloin with a brown sugar glaze
Coconut shrimp with a mango sauce
Baked green rice
Green bean sautée
FIFTH COURSE
Raspberry sorbet
Layered key lime tart
Molten chocolate cake
The staff from the gourmet club that prepared and served the dinner.
The whole group enjoying post-dinner drinks on the deck.
Then, we got takeaway gifts of a rum cake, spiced nuts, and a packet with ALL the recipes! I will definitely be making the Chocolate BBQ Sauce because it was DIVINE and I could have drank it with a straw!
Overall it was a fun night and a very enjoyable meal…I just wish I hadn’t been running on fumes (zero hours of sleep after our short weekend trip to DC).
He had to try it on.
Tom was getting ready for his gas chamber exercise and of course Owen wanted to try on the mask.
