After a trying hour of appliance shopping/negotiating/waiting at Sears…
Category Archives: House & Home
Chip fail.
I tried to make sweet potato chips today…but apparently there is a very thin line between not-quite-done and blackened/smoke alarm going off.
What a brilliant mom.
No, not me. 🙂
Mom Has Son Sign 18-point Agreement For iPhone
Dear Gregory
Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.
I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.
- It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren’t I the greatest?
- I will always know the password.
- If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads “Mom” or “Dad”. Not ever.
- Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone’s land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.
- It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It’s a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.
- If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.
- Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.
- Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.
- Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.
- No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person—preferably me or your father.
- Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.
- Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else’s private parts. Don’t laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear — including a bad reputation.
- Don’t take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.
- Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO—fear of missing out.
- Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.
- Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.
- Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.
- You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.
It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone. Merry Christmas!
xoxoxo
Mom
Deep-fried turkey dinner party!
It’s been forever and a day since we’ve deep-fried a turkey (we used to do at least 3-4 a year but haven’t done one since probably 2007-2008) so we decided to have a pre-holiday meal with our best friends! It was DEElicious and we had a great time!
Two quick hours.
So I was NOT tired last night at bedtime. I tossed and turned for awhile (listening to Tom snore then not snore then snore then not snore) then finally just gave up and was catching up on email and whatnot on my phone. Until 2am. 😐 But, I figured, at least I’d REALLY be tired once I finally fell asleep and I’d sleep really well and get up at my normal-ish 7 or 7:30.
Except a loud BEEP woke us up at…4am. One of the fire detectors was apparently dying—even though Tom somewhat recently changed all the batteries. And it wasn’t on a quick beep cycle like it usually is (like once every two minutes) so it took like 15-20 minutes of waiting and listening to figure out which one it was. 😐 So by now it’s almost 4:30 so Tom just starts getting ready for work—and of course I’m wide awake from the BEEP so I hear the shower and him shaving and getting dressed and all that I normally sleep through (or wake up and hear but just roll over and fall back to sleep). At 5 I just gave up and got up, showered, and started my day.
So I get to face the day with a toddler and a baby on two hours of sleep.
I should have listened to my brain.
Last night, during what was quite possibly the best sleep I’ve had lately, I was awoken by a single repeating beep. I listened. I got out of bed and went downstairs. Yep, the damn CO detector battery was uttering its dying beep. At 3am.
WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS ONLY EVER HAPPEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?
Ironically, just yesterday I had a passing thought, wondering when we last changed all the batteries, as we should be on an annual schedule (like New Years, our birthday, etc.) and we’re not.
I should have listened to my brain.
Delish dish!
10# potatoes, 3 sticks butter, 1 cup of half and half, 1 cup of sour cream, garlic salt, and pepper, with a sprinkle of cheddar cheese and bacon.
Lights! We have lights!
It was a really nice sunny day so it was time to put up the lights! YAY!
We had new lights this year—the icicle lights we had at this house before were long since dead—and of course, one strand wasn’t QUITE long enough (so two would have been completely too long) but as it happened, Tom had to restring them because he started with the wrong end (even though I told him so at the start!) so when he did, he adjusted them just enough to look good! I keep dreaming about lights on the second story, but Tom has said NO WAY—though if I want to hire someone to do it, go ahead. Let me tell you…I’m tempted!
Then I had to come up with something for the porch railing because the lit garland I had hung there other years had died (and Sam’s Club hasn’t had it since) so I used some colored lights that we used on the tree last year. It took a tiny bit of finagling, but I got the two strands to fit perfectly. I like the garland a lot better, but this works.
And the tree lit up…
The tree, the Tardis, and the Bear
This morning we put up the tree! Owen was GIDDY with excitement as Tom got the pieces out, turned the lights on, and put everything together. The tree isn’t as wide as the last tree, so it looks A LOT smaller, but it works with the space we have so it will do for a few years.
We try to only get Christmas ornaments that are meaningful—like from vacations, colleges, traditions, or our annual family Christmas photo. Sometimes they include favorite TV shows—for example, Owen has both Little Einsteins and Cars ornaments—and this year I bought the Tardis from Doctor Who (Tom has watched it throughout the years, but I just decided to watch it and got caught up on the past six seasons on Netflix over the last month or so). Owen has watched it with me, so he knows what the Tardis is…and was SUPER excited when I opened the package. We didn’t have the tree up at that point, so he kept asking where the Tardis was. So this morning, the Tardis was the first ornament he hung and now he runs around saying “The Tardis! The Tardis!”
Owen was REALLY good at hanging ornaments on the tree, too—except he wanted to hang them all in a one-foot clump. Also, of course, they were all hung at his chest-level! I eventually started pointing out where to put ornaments and telling him to look for a bare spot—and he did pretty well.
Lastly, we had to take the traditional photo of Owen kissing the Bear (I used to kiss the Bear when it hung on Grauntie Marge’s tree).
It’s a Christmas tree!
Owen has been WAITING and WAITING for us to put up the tree.
Yesterday he helped me clean out the room to make space for it…and his second question this morning after his usual “Where’s daddy?” was “Where’s the Christmas tree?”
This was the unboxing:
And this is him trying to wake up the tree (since we told him it was sleeping):
I wonder what he’ll do when we eventually get a REAL tree?!
Helping daddy in the garage
Oh, the adventures Owen has out in the garage with Tom…
First, just sitting and watching while having a snack and watching Netflix on Tom’s phone.
The scantily clad pirate is unable to lock the door with the key he found.
Right now he is enjoying playing Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures on the XBOX
He wanted to be closed in.
And “building” with some screwdrivers and energy drinks that he pulled off the shelf.
It was warmer than I thought…
Owen was outside playing while Tom did some yard work. It was warmer than I thought it was (it was 70°!), so his clothes quickly came off—and he had a blast running around in his shoes, socks, and underwear!
Stupid orange underwear.
Dammit. Another load of wash is now tinted thanks to that same pair of Owen’s orange underwear. I thought all the bleeding color was gone…
Owen’s missing!
Owen picked up a framed photo from my mom’s wedding off the entertainment center (the whole Len side) and said “This is our family!! …pause… Uh oh. There’s a big problem! Owen’s missing!” Complete with a dejected look.
What a night. And morning.
I went to bed at midnight. Owen was up at 3 (for no real reason that I could tell). Then Tom was snoring, Owen got up again at 3:30 and 4, Tom was still snoring so when Owen got up again at 4:30, I went in to sleep with him (not good sleep, but at least it was quiet). Then Tom got up about 5a and STARTED RIPPING OUT THE KITCHEN SINK. But I didn’t know that’s what he was doing until I went down at 6 to ask what the hell he was doing that was so noisy. I finally got back to sleep in my own bed about 6:30. Then I got up at 8…so I’ve basically had four hours of sleep. 😐 But I had a nice new sink and faucet installed by 8am.
I’m not voting this year.
Well, turns out I’m not voting this year. 😡
I swear I filled out the necessary stuff online to get the packet because Tom specifically sent me the link. And I didn’t think about it—yes, even with all the political crap and election coverage and primaries—until Tom said he had to mail his ballot in. Wait, what? I didn’t get mine.
So I went back to look to see what exactly I did…and his email was in May, and I went to the website and it looked familiar…except now I see a spot that says “You still need to contact your local voting precinct to register as an absentee voter.” Huh? I definitely don’t remember seeing that. And then I looked at the PDF that I had likely printed—which looked familiar as well—and apparently that had to be sent in somewhere else? Or to my own voting precinct? But then why would I still have to contact them if I mailed this form in? Needless to say I’m still confused.
So the short of it is I didn’t request the ballot and now it’s too late. I should have just called the damn office instead of using the link Tom sent me, because that messed me up. And then Katie came along and my mommy brain got even worse…
I’m bummed.
New drink carrier
We were headed over to our friend’s house to watch the MSU game and Tom needed to put his drinks somewhere.
Laundry is cool.
Owen noticed the seat to Katie’s jumper was missing and asked where it was. I told him it was in the washing machine—so of course he went to look…but the room was dark so he says “I have to turn the lights on!”
After he turned it on, he went to stand in front of the machines—both of which were spinning. He just stood there and looked back and forth (technically up and down) between the two a few times then simply stated “Cool.”
It’s just underwear.
I might have just turned most of Owen’s underwear a nice shade of off white by washing a pair of his new orange underwear in the same load.
It’s a good thing he won’t notice, let alone mind.
Racing!
Maggie was running along the fence with the next-door neighbor’s dog (the first time they’ve “met” since the renters moved in about two months ago) and Owen was playing with the pool as Tom was emptying it and dismantling the pump, etc. But then Owen noticed the dogs running (racing!) and had to get involved. If you listen closely you can hear him announce Maggie as the winner.
Last day in the pool!
The pool water is pretty dirty—and draining as we sit here—but he was desperate to go in. And since it’s 75 today we figured he might as well get in one last hurrah!
Then he had to get in the tiger. HAD TO! He wanted help but I always have him try things by himself first…and he did it!
After I stopped recording, of course he got cuter—bouncing around saying Howdy pardners!
Should I get dressed more often?
I had a friend’s housewarming to go to (my old boss, actually) so I got dressed (nothing fancy), took my hair out of my daily ponytail, and put on a tiny bit of makeup and perfume. I walk downstairs and Owen says “Wowww! Mama, you’re so pretty!” And sniffed me. 🙂
Gee, you think I should get dressed and put makeup on more often?
Today I was a zen master.
Or maybe I should say a zenpoop master? Or a poopzen master? Whatever you want to call it, I was it.
I was calm.
I was cool.
I was collected.
I promised Owen I wouldn’t yell at him again.
I told him it was okay if he pooped in his underwear (but I’d still like him to try to poop in the potty).
I told him he wouldn’t be in trouble.
You see, in talking about this whole ordeal with my mom friends, I came to the conclusion that the Miralax might actually be making it harder (in a sense) for him to poop successfully—since if it was making the stool too soft, he might not realize he had to poop and then OOPS before you know it, it’s there. And if he really isn’t able to control it, then OHMYGOD do I feel guilty about getting mad at him, you know? As a friend pointed out, he’s still learning what it takes to poop—especially since it’s different than pooping in a diaper, we’re guessing he had constipation and possibly pain issues, and now with the drugs it’s a different feeling/experience yet! Ugh, talk about mom guilt. 😥
Hence the zen master.
Luckily it was a pretty easy day so I wasn’t REALLY tested…but we still went through (I think) five pair of underwear. But there were no HUGE disasters, which I think can be attributed to A) him pooping quite a bit over the past two days and B) decreasing the Miralax dose (I’m hoping to hit on the magic amount that will make pooping easier but not create a holy mess).
Please keep your fingers crossed.
What’s wrong with this picture?
What was hilarious was I was sitting on the couch and couldn’t see him so all I heard was grunting and shuffling and I had no idea what was going on… I got my camera ready just in case. I’m glad I did. 🙂
Sippy cup is meh.
Maggie Snores
I was busy cleaning and organizing stuff around the bedroom and thought the cats were growling at one another…but it turned out to be Maggie snoring under the covers. Wonder why I didn’t know she was even in the room…?? 🙂
Sushi pizza
I was at the computer and happened to be looking at the pictures on the Wow Sushi page on Yelp. Owen came up and saw this picture and said “Wow! Pizza!!” I said No, it’s sushi—so he says “Ohhhhhhh!!! Sooooooshi!” 🙂
She loves the basket!
I still call it home.
I saw this shirt at Down With Detroit and couldn’t resist.
The last payment!
I just made the last payment on our only credit card that was carrying a balance—so we are officially done with credit card debt!! And amazingly…done mostly since I’ve stopped working (which of course makes me wonder just what the hell we were doing with my salary the whole time I was working)!
Of course, we still have the mortgage and two cars and Tom’s student loans…but the original debt is gone!
In an ironic side note, the amount we made at our garage sale was just about the exact last payment ($539 vs. $534). I guess it was meant to be.