It’s official. Tom and I have started yet again. Hopefully for the last time.
I’m tired of feeling like shit after gaining back almost everything I lost back in 2015-2016.
I’m beyond tired of being tired and having everything hurt and never having any energy to do anything.
I’m tired of hating myself in every picture.
I’m tired of getting winded walking up a flight of stairs.
I’m tired of buying clothes when I literally have an entirely new wardrobe in my closet. (And I hate staring at a closet full of clothes I can’t wear.)
So even though I absolutely love food and sugar (and margaritas!) and I have zero energy for exercise…and even walking makes everything hurt…I have got to do this. Got to.
I’ve figured out some reasons why it was easier the last time… One, I was younger. But two, and most importantly, we didn’t really see friends that often for meals. Huh? Why would that matter? Well, it was easier to just have our little meals and use our timers and everything. When we did have a party or dinner with friends, it was one night of debauchery.
These days? We usually eat dinner with our best friends anywhere from 2-5 nights a week. Sometimes with apps and always with drinks. SINCE BEFORE THE PANDEMIC. And we go out for dinner probably 2x a month. Is it any wonder I’ve gained it all back?
I’m not sure how I’m going to do this going forward because I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to do all the right things all the time… But I have to try. One day at a time.
Fingers crossed.