First, some background.
Preschool is what Owen is enrolled in now—generic preschool (that we pay for).
NC Pre-K is the North Carolina government-sponsored (free) pre-kindergarten—and is what he’s being considered for depending on what they decide about his poop issues. (This is the place I turned in the application late so at best we’re on a wait list.)
Preschool can be any ages up to and including 4—but generally at age 4 they go to Pre-K. I think Pre-K is more regimented—as they’re getting them ready for full-time school. Preschool is (as far as I can tell) glorified day care. (That’s not as bad as it sounds—they do have a curriculum so it’s not like the kids are running wild. But I think it’s closer to day care than kindergarten, if that makes sense.)
He doesn’t have to change any schools if I don’t want him to…but if I change him to Pre-K and he has issues, his original preschool spot might not be open (unless I continue paying for it—which seems crazy)…though I could get on their waitlist if there are no openings.
The plan is for Kindergarten next fall if all goes well as he’ll be almost 6. I just can’t see starting him and having him turn 7 in Kindergarten…especially since he’s already big for his age.
So, I just got a call from NC Pre-K to “ask me more about” Owen’s condition.
Yeah…I’m guessing they’re not going to even put him on a waiting list. Basically they have NO provisions (legally, etc.) to help clean up any accidents he may have or even to help with basic bathroom protocol. She said if he had any type of accident, he’d have to clean himself up, change his clothes, etc.
Which…wow. I can’t believe they expect a 4yo to do all that BY HIMSELF? I mean, I don’t think most 4yos could clean up a poop accident…but they get to go to preschool anyway. (Though I guess if there were too many accidents they’d get kicked out.)
I explained that he hasn’t had any major accidents since the hospitalization but if he did, he’s four and wouldn’t have the first clue how to clean himself up (well, he’d have a clue but it wouldn’t go well). I said he would be able to change his clothes but there’s no way he’d remotely be able to wipe himself but he does know how to wash his hands well.
It just felt like no matter what I said there was just no way to come back from “he doesn’t want to poop” and “he might have an accident” and “he has had issues pooping.”
So she’s talking to her supervisor and getting back with me to let me know if we’re placed, on a waitlist, or if it’s a complete no-go.
I asked where we’d likely be placed IF we were placed and she said Missy’s Private School or Shine 12 (next door to where he is now at Shine 14). She said they sometimes have a pre-k program at Shine 14 (where he is now) when they have funding…which they don’t right now. But Shine 12 and Shine 14 are right next door to each other (I actually just noticed today that what I thought was one big building is actually two buildings—so I googled and yes, it’s two Shine buildings.)
On the one hand, I like where he is (with two friends and moms I know and people that can pick him up if necessary) and the 3x a week is a hard adjustment as it is so I still can’t imagine going full-time 5x a week. (Both him handling it and me with the dropping off and picking up—though if it was full-time, it wouldn’t coincide with Katie’s naps at all.)
But on the other hand, he loves going to school and I imagine he would do okay in FT…plus Pre-K would be free and hopefully right down the street at Missy’s Private School (though of course I could get assigned the other one which would suck, but it’s at least the same drive I have now….just 5x a week vs. 3x a week).
So now I’m trying to think what I would do if offered which location… If I’m offered the close location, I think I’d be much more tempted to do it. If I’m offered the further location, I don’t think I would. Would it be better to stay on the waitlist for the location I want? If it’s available now, is it better to rip him away from his friends NOW or stay on the waitlist and rip him away at the half-way mark?
I didn’t consider any of this before because I didn’t know he’d have two friends in his class. I know kids are resilient, but I know he LOVES having his two friends in the same class…and it kills me to think I’d be taking him away from that. I’m leaning towards putting him in the Pre-K if he’s accepted…but the best case scenario would actually be to be put on the waitlist and magically have it come due about 2-4 months in so he’s used to the 3x a week schedule and can move up to the FT schedule.
But still. Ugh.