Me: Owen, why are you chewing on that [the tail of the rubber snake, which is wrapped around his wrist]?
Owen: Because it gives me energy to run around.
Owen: Can I watch my TV now?
Me: No.
Owen: Please? Please? Triple please?
Me: No.
Owen: I need watch some TV mama.
Grannie: Why?
Owen: Because I have to. Pretty please with peaches on top. Very please. Very please. Very please. [Climbs on top of me and snuggles in.] VERY PLEASE. VERY VERY PLEASE.
Owen is dancing around.
Me: Owen, do you have to go potty?
Owen: No.
Dances around some more.
Me: Owen—GO POTTY!
Owen: OKAAAAAAAAY!!!
At the park, to Tom:
Owen: Don’t follow me. Go stand by mama.
I told Owen to go downstairs and tell Papa that he had to put on his matching Cookie Monster shirt later tonight so I could take a picture. I’m listening from the stairwell.
Owen: Papa. Papa! Excuse me—I have to tell you something. You need to put your shirt on tonight. TONIGHT! Mama is going to take a picture of you and me.