Give me a license to pull people over and write tickets and you don’t even have to pay me.
I SWEAR THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED: In the left lane, a slow-moving garbage truck. In the right lane, a slower-moving semi. I was in the left lane, behind the truck and another car. As us two left-lane travellers are approaching the point where we can merge in front of the semi, the car in front of me moves into the left turn lane. Cool, I think, he is getting out of my way and I will be able to pass the truck and semi sooner. So, as I merge into the right lane (in front of the semi) and then go to move back into the left lane (in front of the truck), GUESS WHO IS ALSO MOVING BACK INTO THE LEFT LANE IN FRONT OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK?? The guy who had gone into the left turn lane!! YES, FOLKS, THE @*$!% USED THE LEFT TURN LANE TO PASS!! Had I been paying less attention, or had I moved just a hair quicker, he would have smacked right into me. WHERE ARE THE COPS WHEN YOU NEED THEM?? Needless to say I flipped the guy off.
I SWEAR THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED: I’m in the left lane behind a slow-moving car. There’s no one in the right lane, but there’s not really enough distance for me to worry about passing because I NEED to be in the left lane to make a left turn two lights up (a short distance). So we come to a stop at a red light, and there’s STILL no one in the right lane. The light turns and off we go, still moving slow. Well, about 2 car lengths before the light (which is two lane/left and right turn only), the car decided to get in the right lane, which is now, of course, packed with cars turning right. So the car stops, with his blinker on, waiting for someone to let him in, which isn’t going to happen because there’s about 10 cars in line waiting to turn right, so he will never get over—let alone through the light—before it turns red. HELLO? Can we say planning ahead? In the meantime, about 8 cars—including me—are backed up behind this idiot in the left turn lane. So I broke the law, crossed the double yellow center line, and passed the fool. Everyone after me followed suit, and I didn’t bother to look behind me to see what happened to the idiot in the car.
I HATE PEOPLE WHO:
Leave their blinker on FOREVER when they’re obviously not changing lanes. It’s even MORE annoying when you hang back to let them in and they don’t merge.
Slow down before getting into the left or right turn lane (when there’s obviously NOTHING in their way TO slow them down), thereby causing you to slow down as well.
Slow down on the expressway BEFORE getting into the exit lane (duh, that’s what the lane is there for—so you don’t interrupt normal traffic flow).
Think they’re SOOOOO cool and sit leaning WAAAAY back in their seat (so you can barely see their eyes over the door frame) and drive with one arm; this is generally a young man in a muscle car. (See next item.)
Can barely see over the steering wheel, for whatever reason. THIS JUST CAN’T BE SAFE! Get over your insecurities and sit on a book or something—no one else other than your occupants will know, and the rest of us will feel a lot safer knowing you can see your surroundings!!
Aren’t paying attention (or don’t know the rules of the road) and don’t turn right on a red light.
Keep inching forward at a red light and then don’t go when it turns green.
Pull out RIGHT in front of you when there’s NO ONE behind you…and then don’t speed up.
Dart in and out of heavy [generally rush-hour] traffic to get ahead—when it’s obviously pointless since you end up stopped at the light together. (See next item.)
Cut in front of you (with barely a foot to spare) just because you’re not tailgating like everyone else.
Fly by you going at least 75mph in a 55mph zone, and then slow down to 70mph on the expressway, so you pass them doing 75.
Refuse to approach actual highway speed while on the expressway on-ramp, interfering with your own merge onto the highway.
Live in Michigan (or northern states in general) and don’t know how to drive in inclement weather or on snowy/icy roads. They either drive way slower or faster than conditions warrant, or think that they can blast through anything just because they are driving a 4×4 (FYI: 4x4s really have no effect on ice—they slip just like the rest of us).
Wait for you to pull out of a “good” parking spot instead of parking 5 spaces farther away.
Don’t go the speed limit. This is especially annoying on a rural highway (55mph) when it’s impossible to pass and you’re stuck doing 45-50mph because they’re out joyriding.
Drive in the left lane at the EXACT pace as the right lane—instead of using it for passing, which, of course, is what YOU want to do. This can happen either on the highway or a 4-lane thoroughfare.
Are driving slow for miles and miles…until you get to a passing lane (or a passing area) and suddenly they’re moving at the speed of light—so you can’t pass—and then after the passing area is over, they slow back down to their previous speed.
Don’t use cruise control…they pass you and then you pass them and then they pass you and then you pass them—all the while not changing YOUR speed at all.
Force you to pass them on the right. They stay in the passing lane regardless of their (your) speed, and then look at you like they’re pissed that you passed them on the right…and then they STILL don’t get over in the right lane.
Stay (or get) right on your ass, so, thinking they really want to pass, you move over to let them, and then they drop in right behind you.
Are going a bit slower than you, so you pass them, then they get on your ass, so you move over to let them pass, and they stay in the left lane going your same speed…which causes you to nudge your speed up a bit (because, of course, you’re quickly approaching another slow-moving car), and you cut in front of them to pass [the second car] bceause they didn’t keep up their passing speed. (I just did this recently and I LOVE it. Serves them right for not having the balls to pass.) BUT THEN, they have to get right on your ass again, and then fly by you doing 90, only to slow down again 2 miles later. Whatever.
Have waited too long to pass and then DART in front of you, causing you to hit the brakes. (See next item.)
Cut in front of you to pass and then don’t get out of your way when they see you quickly coming up behind them.
Turn their blinker on RIGHT AS they’re making the turn.
Don’t use their blinker when cutting directly in front of you.
Dart in front of semis as they’re coming to a stop—as if semis can stop on a dime.
Come to a complete stop before merging onto the highway. TWH
Have been waiting in the “left-turn-only” lane and THEN decide to go straight—pulling right out in front of you and cutting you off (since you were in the correct lane). This actually happened to my boyfriend, and he almost got into an accident because of the asshole. TWH
Wait and wait and wait to pull out into traffic and then pull out RIGHT in front of you—when if they would have gone right away, there wouldn’t have been any problem.
Don’t know when to honk the horn.
- This actually happened…A mini-van almost causes an accident with an Explorer, the Explorer screeches to a (sliding) halt to avoid the collision, and then comes to a stop behind the mini-van, which is now stopped at a red light. The Explorer then sits behind the mini-van at the light for at least a minute, and then, as traffic starts moving again, decides to start honking the horn. So, may I ask, what is the point of honking so long after the fact?? That’s just it—THERE IS NO POINT—it’s a stupid driver. Honk at the time or don’t honk at all.
AND JUST WHEN I START TO THINK I CAN’T COME UP WITH ANY MORE GRIPES, WE TAKE A WEEKEND TRIP…
Can’t maintain a constant speed (in a no-passing zone, of course) and consequently travel at 65mph, then 50…55…60…55…50…65, etc. I’d much rather follow someone going a constant 60mph than some idiot going all speeds.
Don’t give it extra gas to maintain speed going up a hill, so they slow down to 45 or 50mph, and then reach 70-75mph going down the hill.
When I’m the third car in line and the idiot in front of me refuses to pass the slowpoke in front of him—even when there’s PLENTY of time, which means I never (okay, rarely) have enough room to pass both cars at once.(See next item.)
When someone then comes up behind me and, since they’re obviously so much more studly than anyone else in line, they attempt to pass all three of us, and then have to cut in the middle somewhere because they ran out of time. I’d like to NOT let those people back in and force them to run off the road—it’s the price they would pay for their stupidity.
Don’t turn their brights off after you pass them.
Get on your tail like they want to pass at a faster rate than you’re currently going, so you speed up to finish passing, and then they drop way behind you and never pass.
Have to fly by you to pass, and then pull RIGHT IN FRONT of you. (OR…see next item.)
Have to fly by you to pass, and then pull RIGHT IN FRONT of you…ONLY to slow down so you have to pass them 10 seconds later.
Pull out directly in front of you when you’re doing 70—causing you to practically slam on the brakes—only to turn off a half mile down the road. Generally these are old people.
Make like they’re going to turn into a drive, so you go to drive around them, and then they suddenly pull back into the stream of traffic and you have to slam your brakes to avoid hitting them.
People who cut in front of you to make it onto the exit at the last minute because they either weren’t paying attention or they have no idea where they’re going (on ramp or off ramp, it’s the same story).
Brake at every intersection (major or minor) because they apparently have no idea where they need/want to turn.
Drive down the middle of the highway for more than 50-75 yards or so. Are they drunk? Do they realize what they’re doing? Don’t they care? Do they think they own the road?
Are driving in the left lane (of a city thoroughfare) and are partially hanging over into the left turn lane—forever.
VISITOR SUBMISSIONS
Courtesy of Chuck Johnson, who had this to say:
“I just read your driver thing, and I done woke up my roommate laughing my bollocks off…I think I have experienced every one of those on my journey to California.”
- How about the motorhome towing a Geo Tracker in the slow lane and then pulls in front of me when I’m doing Mach 5 to get around a semi who is going 3 miles an hour slower then he [the motorhome] is … So [the motorhome] goes back to [the slow lane in front of
the semi] … and now that they are going the same speed, they both approach the small incline and the motorhome is now going slower and the semi is going a constant speed [so the semi passes] and now the motorhome is behind the semi again. The motorhome driver is
usually this little Mr. Magoo type of person who is white-knuckled and confused. - Or the old Honda Civic Hitler Mobile that you get stuck behind at a stop light, just so it can just totally smoke you out during the whole process.
- Or the people who are too scared to pass the cop car that is from a whole different county.
- Commuting to college is one thing when you’re doing it during rush hour, but when you add stupid drivers you are essentially adding another half hour to the commute. I approached Hwy 18 off of I-5 which has a steep hill with a passing lane. I decided to just punch it in the “Hammer” lane and get ahead of the Semi. Well half way up was the guy who was at the end of a pack of cars and is now in the lead and doesn’t want to committ to the 15MPH+ over the speed limit rule and realizes that he doesn’t want any of that and tries to get over……when there’s a semi right next to him. So he just coasts with his signal now in the off position. Now I am getting passed by everyone changing lanes and the exit is coming up. So now I am signaling, trying to get over, and all I get is the finger. I just laugh and realize this is just another moment of a “Stupid Drivers” episode.
Courtesy of Jim, who had this to say:
“Great list! Had road rage till I started commuting 120 miles daily – now just watch and wonder.”
- The person who pulls out of a side road onto a busy 2-lane in front of of a long string of traffic traveling at 50mph.. which is alright..(esp in Boston, where everyone expects it) EXCEPT, unlike in Boston, the idiot takes 1/2 mile to accelerate to speed “because it saves gas”!!! Never mind that everyone else had to slow down behind the moron and used up more gas total than if he’d floored it. AND (!!!) if he has a late model car with port EFI, he aint saving any gas anyway.. Saab proved it. (slow vs accelerating Briskly, not flooring it)
- You leave your house and as you pull onto a street a block down from the stop sign at the intersection, you see someone facing you, waiting to turn left .. you stop at the sign – the traffic clears and HE NOW WAITS ON YOU TO CROSS!!!! Of course you hesitate to pull in front of him, because he MIGHT be dozing and realize he has the right-of-way and smack you on principle… and the BEST variant.. You wait for 2 minutes at a sign for the traffic to clear so you can turn left onto a thru street; Just as a small gap in the traffic appears—some yo-yo comes screaming up to the sign opposite yours and flips on his right turn signal.. Now do you go or not??? I GO and see the guy mouthing Expletives at me.. You know, you cant even get a cop to define the right-of-way in these situations!!! I think they really dont know… Keep it up but keep smiling—life’s too short.
PEEVES I SNAGGED
Todd is bellyaching about…WHAT is the deal with jackasses who INSIST on BACKING into parking spaces?!? There is NO reason for this AT ALL!!! I’m driving through a parking lot. There’s someone in front of me. I see them pass an empty spot. “Oh, boy,” I cheerfully think. “I’ll get to park there my very own self!” But, before I can even begin to turn my wheels in the direction of the spot, that car’s back-up lights spring to life, and the chowderhead is now BACKING INTO THE SPOT!!! And he can’t do it quickly, either. Or correctly. He’s got to shift into D again, so he can straighten out, then back into R so he can get in the space. HELLO?!? Does the entire world have to stop and wait for your precious vehicle to get itself situated? Why the he** can’t you just pull into the spot facing FRONT?!? Do you honestly think that you’re impressing anyone? Has it not occurred to you in that peabrain of yours that any time you think you’re saving by being able to pull out of the spot going forwards is taken away by your inablility to back into the space in the first place? You people make me SICK!!!
And Misty says…It’s not really a peeve just a comment on the guys with low rider cars. It’s funny how they will buy a $4,000 – $5,000 car and spend $2,000 having it lowered so it’s about one inch off the ground, another $1,500 on reverse wheels, and at least $1,000 on the stereo, and of course, the big tailpipe extension that looks like a chrome funnel. I know they must think they have the hottest babe magnet vehicles around, but what they really have is a funny looking car, that can’t go over a speed bump at more than 0.25 MPH, a stereo that does nothing but blare out “THUMPA THUMPA THUMPA” to be heard for miles around, forget trying to have a conversation while the stereo is playing, and a tailpipe that makes their car sound like its blowing farts as they drive. Get a clue guys, the ladies aren’t impressed.
And an AOLer says…We have a lot of construction on our highways and especially the Interstate. My peeve is when one of the lanes is closed ahead, people have plenty of time to merge but they continue to fly around me and then want to merge into traffic right when the closed lane ends. Someone will always let them in line but you can bet it won’t be me.
And Grandnet says…One of my peeves is parents who carelessly drive around with small children not in car seats. I’m always seeing people with their little ones standing on the seat next to them. Why do these people think that there is a law concerning small children and car seats? So the kid fusses, give him a sucker, but don’t put his life in danger. Accidents can happen in the blink of an eye and the kid can be airborne and through the windshield before you know what’s happened. Maybe these parents just don’t care.