Extenuating circumstances will, of course, be taken into consideration regarding all the following rules.
KITCHEN RULES
Preferably, dishes should be taken care of right after eating/cooking or within the same day. If someone else wants to use the pan you just used, they shouldn’t have to wash it OR wait for you to wash it. They should also not have to move your dishes to use the sink to wash their own dishes. If not at all possible, they should stay in ONE side of the sink only…no fair taking up BOTH sides of the sink (see next item).
NO STACKING DISHES TWO FEET HIGH ON ONE SIDE OF THE SINK.
No dirty dishes in the sink longer than two days if they’re just dishes. This means nothing that holds water and can start smelling.
No dirty dishes in the sink longer than one day if they’re icky, really-need-to-be-washed-and-you’re-just-feeling-lazy-I’ll-get-around-to-it-whenever dishes.
No dirty dishes/pots/pans left sitting on the stove or counter longer than a day.
If you drop or spill something, or something leaks a) on the floor, b) in the frig, c) anywhere, clean it up. This means wipe up your toast crumbs, flour dust, cooking spatters, etc.
Keep the microwave wiped out. If something explodes or spatters, it’s much easier to clean then instead of later when it’s hard and crusty and caked on.
If something boils over, wash the metal plate under the burner. Don’t keep cooking on it, letting it burn and stick more.
If something falls onto the burner, clean it off—don’t just let it sit there and burn and stick more.
When washing the pots/pans, wash the outside of it, too. And make sure it’s clean. Once it’s dry, if you notice it’s still dirty, DON’T PUT IT AWAY. Wash it again.
Don’t leave the dishes in the drainboard for more than a day or two. Put them away as soon as they’re dry, if possible, if you haven’t dried them individually.
Don’t leave food on the counter/take care of leftovers. (Sure, this may sound obvious, but I’ve seen cornbread in the pan on the counter for two weeks. This is just plain ridiculous.)
NO STACKING THE GARBAGE TWO FEET HIGH. Empty it when it needs to be emptied.
Clean out the frig on a regular basis. Meaning, go through your shit, and if you’re not going to eat something, toss it—and if it’s bad, toss it. Don’t let it sit there (in the way) until it starts smelling or your roommate takes it upon herself to throw it away because you won’t.
Don’t leave jars/containers/pitchers/etc. in the frig with only smidgeons of stuff or three sips of juice. Finish, empty, or toss it.
Become a Tupperware Mistress. Meaning, get used to putting stuff in Tupperware!! Don’t just cover a huge plate (or whatever) in tinfoil and leave it. Don’t leave something in the soup pot for a week after you’ve made it. When portions get smaller, transfer it to a smaller container. Yes, I realize this one is somewhat personal choice, but…if I want to use the soup pot, it better not be in the frig with 3-day-old soup. And I don’t want to have to worry about knocking your stupid corn-on-the-cob off the plate when I have to move it to get to something else you’ve conveniently blocked. (Yes, I’ve seen corn-on-the-cob on a dinner plate, barely/loosely covered in foil—FOR A WEEK AND A HALF!! Like the foil was helping anything. You might as well just throw the corn in there by itself.)
DISHWASHER RULES
Run it when it needs to be run (i.e. when we’ve run out of something). Don’t wait to fill it to the brim if we’re out of glasses or silverware.
If there’s room, ask your roommate if she has any dishes in her room she’d like to add.
When the dishes are clean, EMPTY THEM. Don’t stack dishes throughout the kitchen just to avoid emptying it and don’t use dishes out of the dishwasher in hopes that someone else will empty it. If you’re the first person there, empty it. Try to keep things equal.
Don’t put in big Tupperware—especially if it’s not that dirty (i.e. bread crumbs/chopped veggies, etc.). Take the 30 seconds and wash it by hand so we can fit REAL dishes in to be washed.
When loading the dishwasher, load all the dishes that are around in the kitchen, don’t just load your own.
Learn how to load it correctly. (There’s nothing more irritating than a bowl in the wrong place taking up the space of 4 dishes.)
MISCELLANEOUS RULES
No fair clogging up the kitchen table with stupid miscellaneous shit for more than the time you might be working on something (i.e. balancing a checkbook/working on a scrapbook/something similar where you need the use of the entire table). It doesn’t matter that no one immediately needs to use it—it looks tacky.
You can do whatever you want—create whatever mess you want—when the roommate is gone for the weekend, but everything better be somewhat picked up by the time the roommate gets back. This goes for the kitchen (dishes especially) and the living room/dining area. No one likes to come home to a disgusting house when they left it in a decent condition.
Try to pay bills ahead of when they’re due—and mail it in time. Whoever is responsible for the bill being late pays the late fee.
If the bill is in your name, you take the higher half and you mail it. (It sounds petty since “the higher half” is only a penny more, but it’s the principle of the thing and it’s only fair.)
If any form of a rebate is given to the apartment on a bill, it will be split 50/50, regardless of who spends more. (Yeah, I know it sounds logical, but one of my roommates split a long-distance phone rebate about 20/80 in her favor because, as she said, she spent more.)
“IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING” RULES
Long-distance calls take precedence unless it’s important or an emergency.
You must answer call-waiting beeps if at all possible, unless you’re in the middle of a crisis phone call.
Leave roommate’s messages on the machine. Meaning don’t just write it down for them, since we all know we can’t take as detailed a message as people usually leave.
If you need to use some food of your roommate’s, ask first if possible.
Always replace food items if you finish it or use a lot of it. Don’t use all but 1 teaspoon of the butter and then leave it just so you won’t have to replace it. (This was done to me a number of times.)
Roommates will agree (this might include compromising) on some sort of cleaning schedule for common areas, whether it be duties-per-person-per-week or duties split between who hates/likes doing something.
Roommates will inform, if/when possible, when guests will be arriving/around.
Be considerate—if your roommate is watching TV/listening to the radio, ask if it’s okay if you do the other—don’t just do it. If it’s okay, keep the volume down.
Roommates will agree on use of air conditioning. It should not be running when it’s cool outside and you just don’t feel like opening a window or turning on a fan.
Roommates will be considerate of the other’s schedule, re: “quiet hours.”
No having sex in your roommate’s bed. 🙂
SUGGESTIONS BY NELL
Don’t read your roommate’s diary. (I have had no less than three roomies read my diary. I should publish the thing!)
Don’t leave face mask remnants or removed fake nails lying on the end tables or TV stand.
Make sure your boyfriend doesn’t use my bath products or towels.
Compromise on TV viewing – especially if you’re not paying the bill. Don’t sigh when I watch an episode of “The Real World” or “The Daily Show” then grab the remote and force me to watch 3 hours of the French Open or a day of football.
If you say you’re going to do a chore—DO IT!!! Don’t wait for a week and then bitch about how much harder that chore has become. (ie – dishes, mowing the lawn, cleaning the bathroom.)
Don’t lend MY STUFF to YOUR friends without asking first.
Don’t slam doors when I’m in bed and expect me to be quiet as a mouse when you’re sleeping.
SUGGESTIONS BY D
When dirty dishes, including left-overs are left for more than 48 hrs, they are to be removed to the offending roommates room. If said dishes are returned to the kitchen without being washed, they may be returned to the offending roomates room, and turned upside down on the offending roommate’s bed! (We had to do the upside down thing with a roommate’s leftover french onion soup once. Gross!)