Owen’s homework tonight. It’s not quite a poem as requested, but this was hard enough.
Spring brake
Puddl Jumping
Ranee Days
Is Butufill
Nice air
Green grass
Guess who got to play catcher tonight? Isn’t he just so stinkin’ cute?! (Tom sent me all these pictures because I stayed home with Katie since it was a night game.)
Tom said the pieces fit him perfectly. (The rest of the team is so tiny that Tom had to redo the entire thing in order to get it to fit him.) As usual, he had a great time!
So, of course I posted all about Owen’s issues and our new decision on a forum with some friends. I love the input I get—often things I’d never have thought of. They gave lots of advice—some things we’ve already tried and some things we just don’t want to do (mainly, let him make a bowl of cereal or a sandwich—himself—if he doesn’t like dinner). We don’t want to let him do that because then he’d just eat cereal or a PB&J every night. And we’re trying to get him to EXPAND his food choices.
The mom guilt part of me agrees that if he wants to make a sandwich he should be able to do that because it’s just food…and if HE makes it, at least I’m not…but the other part of me wants to be a hardass because I’m just SOOOOOO sick of it and dammit, he can eat what’s on the table or go hungry. Yes, I’ve literally reached that point. (All the years of the same issues over and over and over have hardened me a bit, I admit.) I mean, he managed to survive pre-k lunches not liking anything but obviously eating enough to not be hungry so why can’t he do that at home? Also, he’s not always going to be able to make a PB&J or grab cereal—if we’re out or at someone’s house, he needs to eat what’s given (not that it’s a terribly common event).
I just don’t know. Just when I think we’ve come up with our solution, someone else makes a point that changes our minds.
Oh, and to make matters more complicated, it’s also a possibility he could have some sensory processing issues. Sigh. His autism diagnosis has long been retracted, but the doc never did any type of food/texture testing, and I’m struggling to remember if we even answered any questions about it. At the time, we may have just thought he was still just young and being normal-kid-type picky and we were concentrating more on the other areas.
So of course if I pick the hardass route, we’ll likely find out he does have a sensory issue and then I’ll be wracked with mom guilt. But if we go the non-hardass route, we might never even know.
So in the next week I’ll be calling his pediatrician to see what we can get figured out. And in the meantime we’ll see how it goes.
Blurg.
Owen pushed my very last food button tonight. From now on he eats what we eat for dinner. And I predict he’ll go hungry for a few days.
That’s what I posted on Facebook after an extremely frustrating dinner. What happened? Well…as you all know, we’ve had issues with Owen and food since just about the time he started eating real food, but really about the last three years. We’ve tried SO many variations of feeding and mealtimes over the years that I’m honestly just at my limit.
So.
As per our current normal dinner rules, all Owen has to do is eat a tiny piece of what we’re eating (there’s a promise we won’t give him something we know he hates or won’t like (like pasta salad or sushi)).
So tonight was grilled chicken, steamed broccoli, and garlic bread. I know he doesn’t love chicken but will eat it. I know he doesn’t really like broccoli but he has eaten his one piece before without too much issue. And I know he loves the bread. His “extra” favorite foods were his yogurt and fruit.
Of course he saves the broccoli until last so it’s cold. And then when we remind him he needs to take his bite, he whines and takes the minutest nibble ever (I think I saw a tiny green speck on his tongue). We remind him he needs to eat the whole bite (it’s only like a 1/2″ piece). We go through the same spiel about how it might not be his favorite food—or even one he kinda likes—but he needs to take his one bite because that’s our current deal. Then he whines that he doesn’t have any yogurt left to dip it in—and we tell him that’s why he should eat it first. He then proceeds to play with it to avoid eating it and drops it in his water.
Well, I’m condensing the story a bit, so by this time Tom and I are at our limit so we fish it out and and say he still needs to eat it. He throws a fit so we take away his video game privileges for a day. He keeps on and then loses video games for the rest of the week. He loves his weekend video game time with daddy, so that causes a tantrum and he says he’ll eat it. I say it’s too late—he had plenty of time to eat it before now.
Now, I normally never reverse a decision, but after some quick back-and-forth we said if he ate it, he’d just lose his game time tomorrow. He said okay, so we were nice and gave him a fresh, non-water-soaked piece. And you’d have thought we were asking him to eat dog crap for all the gagging and whining he was doing. There was more drama about the stupid piece of broccoli…and that was the final straw.
We had already had this talk (months ago) that he had to do the one-bite thing or else we were switching to the eat-what-we-eat plan. That he was getting older and mommy was tired of making multiple meals at each meal time and he was old enough now to eat what we were eating. So he had been warned it would come eventually…so it just happened a bit sooner than planned.
We told him there can be foods he absolutely hates and doesn’t want to eat—and we won’t make him eat those—but they’ll be limited to a small list. If he doesn’t eat what we’re eating, he’ll be hungry. Plain and simple.
Oh, and Katie will be following the same plan, too. I’ve been thinking about it, and I just can’t go through three more years of this with her. And since Owen is doing it, it makes perfect sense.
Tom and I still need to discuss the exact terms, but we can decide specifics as we go. All I know is it is not going to be fun.
We were getting ready to take Owen to the bus stop:
Me: Are you ready to go?
Katie: No, I have to call daddy first.
Owen: I’m done playing with chalk. I’m going to play regular.
Me: Katie, let me check your diaper.
Katie: It has zero pee.
Me: Katie, you can’t grow up. You have to stay little forever.
Katie: No I have to grow up.
I put on my sun visor to go to the playground.
Katie: That’s Gramma’s hat!
And then daddy surprised us and walked over when he was done with the lawn!
Tom shortened the strings so it wouldn’t be as dangerous…and Owen still almost nipped Tom’s leg. 🙂 Needless to say he only helped for a few minutes.
Owen in his new shoes. I didn’t buy them specifically for t-ball, but when we realized they had mini cleats on them (they’re actually men’s race shoes) we figured they’d be perfect. He loves them.
Getting ready to bat!
And as a bonus, I made two new mom friends (and they’re friends with a few people I already know)!
She loves her tutus and wearing shoes of any kind…and getting up on her toes like a real ballerina!
Today was a teacher work day so Owen didn’t have school. I also picked today as a day for no technology—no TV, no iPads, no iPhones—so I try to do at least one fun project. Today I picked cake. 🙂 Owen did pretty good cracking eggs and mixing and I just let Katie dump things into the bowl and mix (with help). 🙂
Taking a Lego break.
Doing chalk in the back yard (on the steps—and as you can see in the next picture, any cement surface) since it was very sunny and the front doesn’t have shade OR anywhere to sit.
I told Owen he looked very dapper in his shirt (I had sent him upstairs to get dressed in his own) and this was the look I got: Yeah, I know. 🙂
That look. All I did was ask her to smile for a picture. Stinker.
I then surprised Owen with a Brick Loot box so he had fun building the Lego-ish toys. This was a 3-in-1 toy and I was surprised he actually built all three!
I love this boy.
Owen had early release today so after setting up for the book fair, I took the kids to the playground. Owen was running around playing by himself and I watched him do this.
I asked later what he was doing and he said playing dead. He was playing war. 🙂
Katie was well-behaved while I help set up for next week’s book fair.
We were wasting time waiting until we could start helping set up for the book fair…and Katie was having a blast collecting acorns.
I was holding my phone up to take our picture, so she was holding up her phone, too. 🙂
We were dropping off homemade soup to friends so stopped at the playground in their complex. She was a happy girl!
PJs, pirate hat, tutu, and superhero cape.