I want my old Express-Scripts back.

It’s amazing that shortly after Express-Scripts merged (or whatever) with Medco things went to hell.

And by that I simply mean I needed a refill but it said I didn’t have any but they would check with my doctor. Cool, that was easy.

A week later I get a phone call saying they’re having issues, my doctor came back as a…are you ready? DENTIST. WTF? And they gave me a completely wrong number (including the area code). But the doc’s name was right. SERIOUSLY? I gave her the right number, she thanked me, and said they’d keep trying.

A few days later I get an automated call. “We’re still having issues. Would you like us to continue working on it or would you like to cancel the order?” Um, why the F would I want to cancel the order? Yes, continue.

A few days later, another automated call asking the same thing. Yes, continue.

A week later I decided to check online and gee, it says it’s canceled. SERIOUSLY? I’m glad someone got back with me about this drug I needed refilled and they canceled without telling me.

So I played with the automated attendant trying to get info (impossible) and then finally got transferred to an attendant after 10 minutes. Twenty minutes later I get a rep who starts with “Our systems are down and I can’t help with any account or order information but you can wait for another rep. It will take about an hour.”

Ugh.

So I just basically told her what was going on (see above) and she said she’d transfer me to someone who could hopefully help me. I ask if I’m going to have to wait an hour. Oh no, she says. Then she transferred me…right back to the initial automated shit I had 30 minutes before.

URGE TO KILL.

It’s a damn good thing I don’t need this drug immediately. And now I get to make another phone call at another time. Yay.