Here we go again.

Look what I found on Katie’s phone…

A YouTube account.

Sigh.

I guess I technically knew about it because I’d heard her and Owen talking about posting things and about how many views they had (I think they were having a competition). But long story short, there more videos on her account than I’d thought — not quite as bad as her TikTok account but still some things I didn’t like — so we had a rational discussion. She could keep the account but had to change her username and delete some of the videos.

I’m hoping that this will give her enough room to feel older without being dangerous.

Time will tell.

I was innocently checking her phone.

Guess who just lost her phone for a good long time?

Yes, that’s her on TikTok.

I had to use her phone to figure out something with her watch and she was out of space so I was going to delete some photos/videos…and found this. And then a whole slew of videos.

UMMMMM WHAAAAAAAAT?!

I had TikTok locked down. I had no idea how she did this. Originally I didn’t even think to look at the time stamps on her phone…but they were last night between 10-11:15. After bedtime.

Ugh.

To start with, she knows TikTok isn’t allowed, let alone her having her own account. Even legally, you have to be 13. But there she was, with a bunch of videos uploaded!

UGH.

And a few of them were completely inappropriate.

UGHHH.

And I couldn’t even figure out how to delete her account—I had to prove I was her by verifying her email (which I had access to) but it wasn’t working.

UGHHHHH.

Then I noticed another new account she shouldn’t have had. And a bunch of new apps I don’t remember her asking for.

It was a long and frustrating day. But she’s lucky I had all day to calm down while she was at school…because I was LIVID.

So Tom was home and we presented a united force. During our conversation, she finally told us how she was able to do it. Are you ready? When I was gone to Ohio, Owen snagged Tom’s phone (because he hadn’t changed his password after the last incident) to log into the app we use to control their phones and give himself more time allowance—and Katie said she wanted stuff, too, so they changed all sorts of permissions. She lost her devices for a month. And I deleted almost every app off her phone.

So then we called Owen down. And after a bit, he admitted that he did that. We were really surprised and upset because he got in trouble for this exact thing previously. So, since it was his second offense, he lost devices for two months. Katie wasn’t smart enough to keep her mouth shut and said well she did it before, too…so fine, we increased her one month to two. So both have lost their devices for two months (phones, ipads, Xbox).

Technology and social media is a nightmare. We were doing the right things with programs meant to help us and protect them but they got around it. Good times.

To Owen’s credit, he REALLY handled it all well. Tom and I had anticipated Owen losing his crap because this was the biggest punishment he’s received… but he was actually amazing! You could obviously tell he was disappointed, but he didn’t lose his cool at all, stayed calm, didn’t try to hurt himself, didn’t storm off or cry… We were both surprised and thrilled.

Katie, on the other hand, ended up fighting and arguing and yelling and crying and slamming her door. After about an hour she was okay.

I don’t like this part of parenting.

Surprise I hurt my back.

About two weeks ago I dropped my phone behind the bed. Tom managed to get it out but unknowingly unplugged the bed (it has USB ports in it so it needs to be plugged in) so nothing is charging and no cables work. I’ve not even been charging my phone at night because I haven’t wanted to figure it out.

Fast forward to last night when I thought I had FINALLY gotten a cable working. Aaaand no. And then I dropped my phone BEHIND THE BED AGAIN. Not reachable at all.

So I got super pissed and rage pulled the nightstand away from the bed. I knew I’d pay for it today and yep, my back hurts. I hate being old and broken.

And yes, I also hate all the cords but they’re generally hidden.

ARE YOU HELPING DATA MINERS?!

Re-re-re-posting this very good advice— please read all of it. It’s looong but very important!

Friends, let’s talk about data mining and identity theft. I learned today that even giving fake answers is not good. I’ve stopped answering all of these on random public Facebook groups and you should, too!

I copied and pasted this from someone else’s post.


Written by Paul Belserene

How account hacking works on facebook:

  1. You see a fun little question pop up in your facebook feed that people answer in the comments. This isn’t a question from one of your facebook friends, it’s from a public account, maybe an account supposedly belonging to a radio station, but not one in your part of the country, where you definitely recognize the station. Maybe it’s from a public account called something cute like “just for laughs” or “no biggie” or “memory lane.” Maybe a facebook friend of yours has already answered the question. It seems harmless and trivial: What food would you never eat? What was the first concert you went to? You answer the question in the comments.
  2. Because of the way facebook’s algorithm is set up, answering this question, or even just giving the post a like means Facebook will show you more content by this facebook poster and more content by other, similar posters. You see more and more little quiz questions by facebook accounts who are not your actual friends.
  3. Also because of the way facebook’s algorithm is set up, your actual facebook friends can see the post you responded to and your answer to the little question. If they respond to your comment, or like your comment, or answer the question themselves, they also begin to see more little quiz questions from this facebook poster and more similar facebook accounts with other little questions.
  4. Some of these questions really are probably harmless, but the more you answer, the more you see, and sooner or later you slip up and answer one or more that help a data miner begin putting together pieces of information that help them steal your identity and get into your bank accounts. “One of these has to go” with a list of four types of candy bars isn’t helpful to anyone, but the more you get used to answering questions, the less carefully you scrutinize the questions. One day you answer one that gives someone your birth year: “how old would you be if the digits in your age were reversed.” A week later you’ve forgotten about that, but the information has been harvested and filed away and you answer another question that gives them your month of birth: “your birth month determines which celebrity you marry, are you happy?” with a bunch of pictures of famous people laid out in a calendar grid. Some questions are straight up complete answers to common security questions: maiden names, grandparents’ names, where you vacationed as a kid, what was your first car, what was your first pet’s name, what was the name of your elementary school.
  5. When the data miner pretending to be a harmless fun facebook account or radio station has enough pieces of the puzzle put together they can either get into your bank account, sell your information to someone else who wants to get into your bank account, or remotely lock your accounts or take over your whole computer or phone and force you to pay a ransom to get access back. They can impersonate you and steal your tax refund. They can commit social security fraud, pretending to be you, and disappear with the check while you are left to prove it wasn’t you.
  6. The worst thing about these social media predators is that the more you comment on these information gathering quizzes, even if you just comment to tell a friend that they have potentially given away the answer to their own security question, the more they spread. All your facebook friends will see more of these quizzes as a result of your comment, and be more likely to comment themselves, and sooner or later one of them will give away important information, even if you never do.
  7. So DO NOT COMMENT. Not even to the ones that really don’t share any important information. They post many innocuous questions for every one that actually gathers information, but even the seemingly benign ones help them figure out what style of questions generate the most responses, work the algorithm to get them on more people’s facebook feeds, and lull you into a false sense of security that this is good clean fun. Do not give it a thumbs up or an angry face. If you see a friend post in response to one, talk to them in person about how these work, or call them, or send them a private message, but don’t reply back to their comment on the actual post. That just helps these things spread.

Yes, the adults still had devices.

Part of the reason the kids didn’t have their devices was because the WiFi wasn’t working well and the system just couldn’t support everyone at one time. But really it was mostly because all the kids have better behavior when they aren’t on devices and they aren’t even an option.

We weren’t on them all the time, but this was a rainy chilly day so we were just relaxing while the kids were having Insect Fight Club.

Maker Faire

The local college held a zoom Maker’s Faire so all four kids did it at Anna’s! They started by making rockets! It was only a bit of a cluster the rest of the day but they had fun!

And Tom and David built a rocket launcher so the kids didn’t have to go to the college to see them launched! It brought all the neighborhood kids over!

https://youtube.com/shorts/yg4YlzuZ0qg

Reach out to your friends.

People. Reach out to your friends. You might just have a great time!

I just had the best video call with a college roommate who I literally haven’t heard her voice in 20 or so years. We see each other on Facebook but that’s it.

So tonight we were chatting on messenger and she was like hey we should video chat why have we never done that?! Due to the time difference (she’s in New Zealand) our schedules don’t always mesh, but tonight it worked. So we chatted FOR AN HOUR and it was soooooo great. And we’re going to do it again soon—probably with margaritas if we’re being honest.

So just some advice to reach out to those old friends. You might just have a great time. And we all need more of that these days.

Busted!

Parenting is always an adventure!

Tonight Tom and I were going to bed about 10:30 and I heard voices upstairs. What? Tom snuck up and caught Katie FaceTiming with Gramma Jean! GRRR! She knows devices aren’t allowed at night. She knows her bedtime. (That said, it was cute but she’s such a stinker to think she can get away with it. On a school night no less. When she knows she’s not really even supposed to have her device.)

I called Gramma immediately and she just told me yes they were talking and Katie was helping her with something on the iPad. I wasn’t mad at my mom for sure but just frustrated with Katie. Neither kid makes good decisions when it comes to technology and Tom and I are at our limits. (I don’t think I mentioned this, but about two weeks ago Katie lost her devices for an indeterminate amount of time because she downloaded TikTok and Instagram on her phone!)

Gramma said: Busted! Katie has been calling me on Face Time pretty late in the evening, certainly past her bedtime. Last night she was trying to teach me how to record a video instead of typing. Jen and Tom were downstairs watching TV and then started turning off everything to head to bed. Tom heard some noise and they discovered Katie on her iPad. OOPS. Jen called me immediately and Tom said “gramma is grounded!”

Woodland Book with an Educator

Tonight was a fundraiser for the food bank—Woodland teachers and administrators read their favorite books on Google meets! Every 15 minutes you’d switch to someone new! We listened to Katie’s current teacher and her second grade teacher, Owen’s third grade teacher, the Elementary Principal, and a friend who is a teacher! We loved it, and the past teachers remembered them and loved seeing them, too!

His turn…and now he gets it.

Tom was home for the long weekend so I told him he got ALL tech questions and school issues today. He kind of said WHATEVS and planted himself on the couch playing video games.

School starts at 9.

8:55—Owen discovers he has no power on his entire workstation. No lights, no Chromebook charging, nothing. Katie (across the room) is fine. Whaaaaat?! Tom looked at me like AYFKM? I just smiled, chuckled, and said welcome to my Life.

While he was troubleshooting, I was getting Owen set up on my laptop (I kinda wanted to make Tom do that as well so he could truly experience what my days are like, but I didn’t want to be that cruel). Then, because he was messing around with the breaker box, he cut power to Katie’s station (and Chromebook!) so the WiFi went out and she was dropped from her class. And of course could not reconnect. SO PANIC AND DRAMA ENSUED.

Time? 9:03am

Me: Yep. That’s about right.
Hubby: ——

Turns out one half of the wall outlet Owen was plugged into just up and died. Completely random. You can’t make this shit up.

Then there was drama with Katie’s headphones (every damn day) and Owen was caught watching YouTube. 臘‍♀️

Needless to say Tom has newfound respect for me and promises not to complain about my daily texts I send him when he’s not here.

It took just four minutes.

Well today started out okay with me waking up before my alarm and I got to have some nice leisurely quiet time before the kids got up.

And they showered without much drama and they ate breakfast without much drama and we took school pictures without much drama… And then the shitshow started.

Owen had some technical difficulties dealing with an external monitor and Bluetooth headphones and Google meets and when I asked him if these were the same headphones that he used last year he said yes but they didn’t work for Google meets then either.

YOU THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE TOLD US THAT AT SOME POINT BEFORE THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL?! (What I was screaming in my head—not what I said to him.) But he was completely losing it and this was him just four minutes in to Remote Learning. /cry/ Even though I wanted them home to be safe…THIS. JUST. SUCKS.

But things have gotten a little better since 9:04 AM when it was the worst and I think we might make it through this day without me needing to drink a gallon of margaritas.

I went outside to enjoy the weather in my egg chair…and Owen came out on a break and he seemed much better.