Katie REALLY wants a cat.

I found this note on her door this morning.

Felix is at PetSmart and has been there for longer than normal. She knows I’d love an orange tabby…so she keeps trying to convince me.

But unfortunately it’s just not gonna happen. He’s not declawed. Tom is allergic and doesn’t want to take meds every day (again). I’m leery of adding a cat to two dogs. And I’ve fully enjoyed no more litter duty.

Welcome to every day of my life.

Today’s argument with Katie was about how long to microwave a large container of Panera Mac and cheese.

She said “30 seconds because it wasn’t in the freezer” and I said it would probably need at least 3-4 minutes, but start with 1:30. I hear a sigh of annoyance. She says it’s hot. I say there’s no way it can be. She brings me my bowl and obviously it’s still completely cold.

I tell her that it needs more and you would not believe the attitude I get. Like I am the biggest inconvenience in the world and she’ll do it but it doesn’t need it. I ask if she tasted it. No. Then how can you tell it’s the right temperature? She doesn’t know.

Every. Day.

I told Anna and she said:

This is like my kids having a freaking meltdown about not being able to find something and then when I ask them where they’ve looked, they haven’t looked anywhere that makes sense. Missing your shoes? Did you check in the mudroom where your shoes go? No? Only checked the refrigerator? Just gonna have a full-blown meltdown about it anyway? OK then.

Katie lost almost everything in her room today.

Today Katie was invited to her friend Sophia’s and decided to paint her nails instead of cleaning her room like she’s been asked to do for a week plus multiple times today… while she was obviously supposed to be working on her room.

She has had multiple last-chance warnings about cleaning her room. She knew the consequences.

So Tom and I immediately went up with garbage bags and cleaned it out. Everything just got shoved into bags and Tom gathered all the big stuff (like her new rainbow carpet and cushy chair) and hauled it into the guestroom.

All the crap that was on the floor? Gone.

Clothes, towels, shoes? Gone.

Makeup, Legos, Pokémon cards, games, colored pencils/markers/crayons, books? If it was on the dresser in a mess or on the floor? All gone.

Anything that had been shoved in her closet? Gone.

Brand new clothes she just shoved somewhere instead of putting them away? Gone.

There was sooooo much screaming and pleading and crying. Owen was even crying about it and begging us not to do it because he loves her. But unfortunately she needed to learn we are serious. Eventually she even admitted she didn’t think we’d do it. Now she knows we’re serious.

But we heard it all from her: We are the worst parents ever. We don’t care about anyone. Everyone is going to hate her. She’s going to tell everyone at school about this. She wishes she lived somewhere else. She has the worst life ever. This is the worst day ever. She will hate us forever. We will regret this.

We did tell her she has the power to get everything back—she just has to keep her room clean and we’ll let her pick some stuff. To which she snotted back “Well there’s nothing left in here!” To which we replied “Then it should be easy!”

So this is what the guestroom looks like…again. (You might remember we did this once already. Plus did it once at the last house.) But she’s just not getting it.

Needless to say we are both mentally and physically exhausted after this 1.5 hour-long process.

If it’s not the Katie show, we’re gonna have issues.

Let me predict what’s going to happen today: Katie has had a friend here all afternoon after her birthday pool party. When she leaves, I will ask Katie to do something (anything, it doesn’t matter) and I’ll get attitude.

And why do I predict this?

Because that’s life with Katie these days. It’s like she’s really a teenager instead of just nine.

ANYWAY. FAST FORWARD.

I asked her three times earlier today to clean up her dinner garbage and each time—

I KNOW MOM!!!

—but she never actually did it so when I noticed after she went to sleep in the basement (a special treat) I called her back up and made her do it. She was pissed. And then—surprise—she DIDN’T FINISH so I called her back again. And she was just pure teenage attitude. So she lost her privilege of sleeping in the basement that night.

So she was being super pissy and stomped upstairs to her room—and decided the best thing to yell at me was “And are your ever going to clean up this pee?” (Maggie had peed at the top of the stairs in the craziness of the pre-party prep that morning and I only had time to put a towel on it. And can only go up the stairs once a day.)

So I might have yelled at her that I had been A LITTLE BUSY AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY ALL DAY AND OH YES I WAS STILL RECOVERING FROM SURGERY DID SHE FORGET THAT?

It got worse from there. I can’t even recall the things that were said on either side but I did eventually tell her I wouldn’t mind throwing all her birthday presents straight into the garbage because she certainly didn’t deserve them with the attitude she was having.

Unfortunately all my friends with girls say this is normal. And their girls do it, too.

I’m not sure how we’re gonna survive this.

Katie’s room cleanout saga

So I forgot to mention…Katie’s room got fully cleaned out about a week ago.

We had given her chance after chance (after chance) to get it picked up even a little. No it didn’t have to be perfect…but I couldn’t even make it to her bed without stepping on who knows what so I was just D.O.N.E. done. We finally gave her the final ultimatum on a Friday night. We reminded her multiple times throughout the weekend. Reminded her she was going to lose everything if she didn’t make a dent.

She kept putting it off and putting it off. So Sunday afternoon I gave her one last chance. And when she decided that continuing to lay on the basement couch and do nothing was her best choice…it was time. I grabbed the roll of garbage bags and off I went.

There wasn’t much sorting—everything from the tops of her dressers got swept into a bag. Clothes from the floor? In a bag. Toys? Bag. She made it upstairs about three minutes behind me and I already had about two bags full.

She proceeded to sit on her bed and bawl. Not even making any move to, you know, pick anything up or put anything away.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!” You know why. We’ve asked you to pick up your room for a month now. I reminded you all weekend and you didn’t do anything. We warned you what would happen—and you saw us do this to Owen’s room so you knew we were serious. This is happening because you made bad decisions.

Tom had been napping but all the drama woke him up, so then he started helping. I think it took us about 45 minutes to get it cleaned out. We did sort some stuff like Legos and took out a full bag of garbage. We found a pile of dishes. Innumerable candy wrappers. Clean clothes mixed with dirty clothes. And under everything? Horrible stains on the carpet that she had NO CLUE what it was from.

So this is about what it looked like when we were done. Bed, dressers, desk, chair, mirror, bookshelf with books, and some toys.

I wanted to take out more but I was mentally and physically exhausted. She was not happy that she lost her nightlight and Alexa. I told her if she had been that worried about it, she should have picked it up.

And then, for as upset as she was, after we were done, she was downstairs laughing and having fun with Owen. Like nothing ever happened.

Fast forward to the next day and I don’t remember exactly what triggered it, but I’m sure it was a combination of her sassy I-can’t-believe-she’s-not-a-teenager mouth and more bad behavior… after I spent the entire day trying to get those unknown stains up and failing…but I went up again and removed even more stuff. She lost the makeup mirror, most of her books, more toys, and anything that was on the floor (you thought she’d have learned that lesson, but no).

In the end, I had taken out about the equivalent of 10 garbage bags. Here it all is stacked in the guest room.

And you know what? She really doesn’t give two craps about any of it. She hasn’t asked for any of it back…except for her Alexa.

She knows why she lost it. She knows she has to earn it back.

I have made her do all the laundry we pulled out—but it all goes back in the guest room (she was allowed to pick two pieces per load to keep).

We’ve told her she can earn some other things back but she hasn’t even cared enough to attempt that. This includes Christmas presents she just got!

Of course her job is to keep her room picked up now—which shouldn’t be hard because it’s literally empty, right? Ha. She still manages to have her floor almost covered every day.

So we have no idea what’s going to happen. Do we just really get rid of everything? Make her sort through it? Make her earn stuff back?

Sigh.

When will they learn?

So this is happening.

Why, you ask? Let me tell you.

We have been seeing Anna and David quite a bit but didn’t have plans to see them today. BUT! We told the kids (like we always do) to get their stuff done early, just in case because you never know what might come up.

And imagine that—Anna invited us over for a last minute dinner. But I said we couldn’t go because Katie hadn’t gotten anything done that day that she was supposed to.

Cue tantrum tears.

Katie, pissed: YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD US.

Me: I didn’t know. I warned you to get your stuff done in case.

Katie, pleading: CAN I JUST DO SOME STUFF QUICK?

Me: No. You haven’t showered, haven’t done one minute in your room, and haven’t done your missing homework. There is no doing something quick at this point.

Katie, channeling Owen: I’M A JERK. MY LIFE SUCKS.

Me: No, you just didn’t listen or didn’t want to do the work. We warned you. I’m taking a picture so I can show you the next time and you might remember.

Good times. Good times.

Christmas Eve with our bubble!

If I haven’t mentioned it, we have created a bubble with our good friends Anna and David. Each family quarantined for two weeks and we always wear masks when we are with anyone outside our bubble—and even try to avoid prolonged visits with anyone outside the bubble. So we do hang out with each other a lot.

We usually share Hello Fresh dinners but decided to splurge tonight on not one, not two, but three orders of our favorite octopus appetizer from our favorite restaurant (Primo) and a homemade charcuterie board. That was seriously all Tom, Anna, David, and I wanted. Easy peasy.

We didn’t take one single picture of our amazing dinner, but it was delicious. We might also have drank an entire batch of Dave’s amazing rum punch and watched Christmas Chronicles with the kids. I’m not naming names but someone fell asleep.

Then we got ready for Santa!

We left out Girl Scout cookies because Katie texted Santa and asked if he liked them and gave him a choice and he picked the chocolate and peanut butter ones. The candy cane is for the reindeer.

I absolutely love the letters both kids left for Santa. Owen thanked him for being awesome (and gave him a spot for a Robux code) and Katie wanted Santa to write his name.

Owen’s full note.

And this was where Maggie was. Maybe sneakily waiting for Santa, too?

Busted!

Parenting is always an adventure!

Tonight Tom and I were going to bed about 10:30 and I heard voices upstairs. What? Tom snuck up and caught Katie FaceTiming with Gramma Jean! GRRR! She knows devices aren’t allowed at night. She knows her bedtime. (That said, it was cute but she’s such a stinker to think she can get away with it. On a school night no less. When she knows she’s not really even supposed to have her device.)

I called Gramma immediately and she just told me yes they were talking and Katie was helping her with something on the iPad. I wasn’t mad at my mom for sure but just frustrated with Katie. Neither kid makes good decisions when it comes to technology and Tom and I are at our limits. (I don’t think I mentioned this, but about two weeks ago Katie lost her devices for an indeterminate amount of time because she downloaded TikTok and Instagram on her phone!)

Gramma said: Busted! Katie has been calling me on Face Time pretty late in the evening, certainly past her bedtime. Last night she was trying to teach me how to record a video instead of typing. Jen and Tom were downstairs watching TV and then started turning off everything to head to bed. Tom heard some noise and they discovered Katie on her iPad. OOPS. Jen called me immediately and Tom said “gramma is grounded!”

I have a headache and it’s eight years old.

OMG. So here’s a conversation with Katie just now as we are going over homework. After she’s been “working” on it for an hour (with me jumping in now and again to prod her to get back to work). And after we’ve already had drama about math. So I was already about at my limit with her attitude.

Katie: Has it been two weeks?

Me: Two weeks for what?

Katie: Has it been two weeks?

Me: Two weeks for what?

Katie, rolling her eyes and getting pissy: HAS IT BEEN TWO WEEKS?!

Me: Katie, we’ve talked about this. You aren’t being clear and I need more information so just repeating yourself more loudly doesn’t help.

Katie: HAS IT BEEN TWO WEEKS?!

Me, losing my shit: Yes it’s been two weeks since two weeks ago. But it’s been two months since two months ago. What are you referring to?

Katie: When we get our devices back.

Me: Why didn’t you just say that? I’m not in your head. No, you’re nowhere close.

Katie: Yes it’s been two weeks.

Me: No it hasn’t.

Katie: YES IT HAS!

Me: No it’s not. YOU wrote the date on the board. GO LOOK. Owen has two weeks. You actually have three weeks. Two weeks is the 21st. You are the 28th. Today is the 15th. It hasn’t been two weeks.

Katie, rolling her eyes and snotty: UGH. SORRRR-EEE.

I can’t even.

The drama is exhausting.

We had a lot of drama when trying to catch up on math homework tonight. There might have been screaming and crying. The rest off the night got better (after she had some cool down time in her room) but this was waiting for us when we came to bed.

Sigh.

This is the default reaction from both kids whenever we try to help them or teach them or tell them what they did wrong. We have no idea where it comes from (though I’m sure Katie says it because Owen does).

So I wrote this back.

Parenting is exhausting.

Kidisms 49

Either I haven’t been keeping track or the kids haven’t been saying cute things anymore. Or maybe it’s a little of both. So these are actually from last November!!! Enjoy!

 

Katie just called the sofa a loafa and I think she’s on to something.

Katie was up early today and crawled into bed with me.
Katie: You’re lucky.
Me: Why?
Katie: You have a big bed and a comfy cover. And I just have a little rectangle.

My first batch of easy margaritas!

So with my love of margaritas, can you believe I’ve never really made any? (Well, I have made a special “beergarita” for parties, but that really isn’t a margarita as most people would think of one.) I even bought the Margaritaville drink machine to make them but never really did anything except use it with premade margaritas.

Enter our new friends Lindsay and Mike, who regularly (and quickly!) make frozen margaritas. Of course I had to ask how they do it… And turns out it’s super simple.

The funny thing is they make completely different ones. He gives her crap about using limeade vs real limes and she gives him crap about taking longer to make his. Both are good but I’m usually lazy so I’ll do the limeade ones!

I did my very first batch—actually in my Vitamix—today. And they were super easy and super delicious.

Trying the Vitamix instead of the Margaritaville blender. It works. But first world problem? We need a bigger freezer in the bar to store the full blender!

I actually got out the margarita machine for the kids to make lemonade slushies! They came and sat at the bar and said “This is like being on the cruise—you just hand them your glass and they refill it!”

Happy Easter with new baskets!

We got caught up in finishing Ozark so we were up much later than expected prepping for the Easter Bunny. And the weather stinks so the eggs have to be hidden throughout the messy house…

Katie left a request for the EB to put up the last sheet of Easter window clings—she even left the scissors out so he could open them. She also specifically told me she wrote “like you” instead of “love you” — maybe love is too strong for the EB? Kids.

Also, she wrote that note in like 2 minutes happy as a clam. I try to get her to write a sentence for homework and you’d think I was asking for War and Peace.

Lego Challenge: Day 1

I started the kids on the Lego challenge calendar because we’ve been watching Lego Masters and they love it—so figured this would be a big treat.

Ha. Hahaha. Katie didn’t want to do the first one I picked (rockets) and Owen didn’t want to do the second (pizza) do they did Rock Paper Scissors and tied like six times. Owen finally won which sent Katie into a fit because she “didn’t know how to build a rocket and she’s stupid.”

Sigh. No good deed goes unpunished.

So after some counseling, they both worked on rockets. Katie eventually gave up but Owen did finish.

I’m not sure when we’re going to attempt this again.

I’m claiming a parenting win.

Typical dinner scene: Katie automatically says she doesn’t like what we’re having and we tell her she needs to at least try it…then usually she doesn’t like it and we have a talk about how you don’t need to love everything but if it’s okay you can still eat it. She hates that and argues and whines and refuses to eat whatever.

Fast forward to last night. Owen was eating lime corn chips. She whines that she doesn’t like them. A few minutes later she’s eating them and Tom and I say “But you don’t like them!” And she matter-of-factly says (in her sassy DUH MOM tone) “But I can still eat things I don’t love!”

HAHA!!! I gleefully told her that’s exactly what we’ve been saying and now that she agrees with us, we expect no more complaining about food she says she doesn’t love. It took a minute but the look on her face when she realized…

I know the likelihood of that actually happening is low, but I’m still claiming a parenting win.

Bitmoji iPad tech support

So the iPad lessons have been continuing and tonight I was helping Mom setup Snapchat and Bitmoji because she wanted a fun Bitmoji.

We were having fun when Katie came in and wanted to help. It was funny. Gramma Jean was looking at the type of body to use and said “OH NO! I have to use the last one (plump)” and Katie spread her arms to the Heavens and said “No, make yourself skinny!” So damn cute. Mom and I laughed and laughed.

Here’s the first Bitmoji she published to Facebook!

Kidisms 45

Me: Katie, why are you so stinking cute? Why do you have to be so cute?
Owen: To attract boys!
😳🤦🏽‍♀️

Me: Owen, tell Dad it’s time for dinner.

Owen goes to the garage and tells Tom it’s time for dinner. He walks back in and sits down.

Owen: Mom, is it time for dinner?
Me: 😳🤦🏻‍♀️

Someone on TV was talking about hope.
Katie: I can hope for anything because I have a hope chest at grammas. 💕

Katie: Let’s go play some football.
Owen: Not now! I just got my burning stick!