Yeah. So today was supposed to be mostly fun with the kids. But I asked them to pick up their rooms first (while Tom was at work for a bit) and you’d have thought the world ended. The amount of rudeness and sass and disrespect that came out of their mouths was unbelievable. They’ve already lost today’s planned bike ride and they’ve been threatened with losing all their yet-unpacked boxes of toys. #imdone #parentingsucks #arewehavingfunyet #honestfacebooking #tellmeimnotalone
Owen wasn’t feeling the family picture.
Then the wind started blowing Katie’s hair in his face and the giggles started.
And then I got a smile!
Of course there was also some Pokémoning…and unfortunately, the kids were both little stinks about stuff…so they lost Pokémon on mom’s phone for a few days.
Owen (out of nowhere) in a perfectly normal voice: I have to clean up my room.
Owen, in an 80% snotty tone: I guess I have like three seconds to do it. Hmph.
Owen: I guess I hvae to go do it right now.
Me: If you want to.
Then he stomped off upstairs.
What?! When did he turn into a teenager?
I’ve already gotten more drama from Katie at age 3 than I’ve gotten over Owen’s whole life.
I get “I hate you” and “I’m mad at you” on a loop most every day. Just now I got both because I told her not to eat such a big bite (she was literally shoving a sandwich in her mouth and couldn’t even chew her mouth was so full).
Or maybe I told her to try to go potty and she didn’t want to.
Or maybe I told her to step smashing a tomato on the counter.
Or maybe I sad we couldn’t go to the park now but we could after lunch.
He was a complete pain in the ass from the minute we pulled into the driveway (after coming home from the playground after school): yelling, screeching, stomping, throwing things, hitting things, hitting me and Katie, being completely defiant, being rude…
In all, he had four time outs, TV and video games taken away, early bedtime given (twice!), and eventually a few precious toys taken away which resulted in him screaming and crying. (I even had to interrupt writing the draft of this post to jump up and yell at him for smacking Katie in the face because he was pissed at her. That got him sent to his room.) And I was even ignoring a lot of his more minor events. He even had his B (which I thought would be comforting) but he was even throwing that around and saying he didn’t want it. I asked if he wanted to go up to his room to be alone and he grouched at me about that, too (before he got sent there).
It was exhausting.
When I take something away for, say, him being cranky, he seems to think that if he apologizes right away and says he won’t be cranky anymore…that he’ll get whatever I just took away (like TV). Nope, kid, that’s not how it works. You get a warning (sometimes two) and if you keep on, you get the punishment—and at that point it’s too late to recover from the punishment. And I’ve told him this REPEATEDLY and I NEVER give in so it’s not like he’s thinking I did it once so I’ll do it again. And he apparently hasn’t fully caught on that when I say NO TV, I mean NO TV. Sometimes it’s just one show he loses. But today was full on TV. But he kept asking every half hour or so—and when I kept telling him no, that would set him off again (even though I kept asking him if he remembered WHY he lost TV and he did—he would tell me because he was cranky, etc.). So then he throws a toy or throws a B or hits Katie (which are all obviously not allowed) and it just escalates. He’s actually pretty good about sitting in his time out—and we go through the whole Super Nanny thing of me telling him I love him, me asking him what he did wrong (he always knows), him apologizing—and 10 minutes later he’d be back in another time out after being warned.
Lather, rinse, repeat…for a good three hours.
I actually thought he recovered after a pizza dinner and a bath (two of his favorite things, during which he was his normal, happy self!) but then he got cranked up again while getting ready for bed (he was upset that he missed a few chore chart items—he definitely lost Show Respect today, as well as Pick Up Toys and Share) and therefore lost his snack so he was NOT happy.
WHAT. THE. HELL?!
As I was saying good night, I told him tomorrow was a new day and it would be a better day…and he said “Yes! No more throwing things, hitting mama or Katie, and being grouchy.” So we’ll see…
I feel like over the past few days I am suddenly spiraling out of control with Owen. There’s a lot of stubbornness and snottiness on his part and a lot of ensuing frustration and yelling on my part. Maybe he’s just becoming a normal 4-almost-5-year-old but he’s really been so good overall thus far that anything out of the ordinary really throws me. And he is definitely acting out of the ordinary. I almost feel like I’m at the end of my rope with this issue…and it’s only been a few days.
You know he’s always been VERY good about doing his chores (helping with Maggie, picking up toys, clearing the table) but lately he just flat out refuses to help pick up toys at bedtime (yes, I said help, because I do it with him). He starts playing with every toy, he starts playing with Katie, he whines that Katie is stepping on him or otherwise in his way, he suddenly can’t figure out how to put the boxes together, he whines at every step, and then he always says some variation of “I am NOT going to pick up toys…I don’t wanna.”
He knows talking back and being grouchy will lose him TV privileges (his favorite thing) but he continues to do it. He knows he won’t get his chore badge (which with enough missing badges he loses his weekly reward toy). He knows he will have to go to bed early and won’t get a bedtime story (which I reiterate every night—I remind him of it all EVERY night). It doesn’t matter. Tonight I even broke down and played the “I might have to talk to Santa card” which kind of got his attention and he said he didn’t want me to talk to Santa so I told him I’d give him one more chance… But every night he promises he’ll be a good boy the next night…and it doesn’t happen. I gave him a “last chance” while he was brushing his teeth, telling him he could stay up to his regular bedtime if he went back downstairs and picked up the toys and he interrupted me to tell me he’d just go to bed.
Of course, after having first been calm and patient for 15-30 minutes with all the repeated warnings and waiting for him to pick up toys on his own…and then with him being grouchy to me…I end up getting frustrated and yelling. It just sucks because he’s GREAT from the time he gets home through dinner…but the last 30 minutes make me want to throttle him.
We don’t have enough time to put toys away in the morning. We could try to put them away earlier in the day, but it’s hard because Katie just pulls them all out again anyway. I guess it’s possible he’s acting out against Tom being gone, but why now? Why the last few days?
I want to stop yelling. I don’t want to be frustrated. I want my good little boy back.
So, since I’m a single parent this week, bath time was challenging (obviously one of us stays with Katie while Owen gets his bath but that wasn’t possible). I do leave her alone for a few minutes, but didn’t want to leave her alone for his entire bath…so the only safe place for her to go was in her crib. Which we never do unless it’s sleepy time. She’s never even been stuck in a pack-n-play except to sleep… In other words…SPOILED.
Needless to say she WAS. NOT. HAPPY. This is a compilation of about two minutes of the entire 15 minutes worth of screaming. I thought she might not mind as much if I was in with her, so kept running back and forth between checking on Owen and cleaning/organizing her room. Nope. She screamed whether I was in there or not.
But at least she doesn’t hold a grudge. This is minutes afterwards. It’s enough to balance out the earlier screaming…right?
We just laugh when things come out of his mouth that we recognize as things we say to him all the time. The two big ones are “That is NOT an option!” and “That’s enough!”
At least we know he’s hearing us, right?
Life has become interesting lately. Our sweet little Owen is turning into a threenager. Holy cow does he test my patience…what little of it I have left.
We tell Owen to NOT do something or STOP doing something…and he turns right around and does it.
He has zero attention span when we ask him to pick up toys. It’s a constant repetition of “Owen, please put all your toys away. Owen, please put your cars away. Owen, please put your cars in this box. Owen, put your cars away now. OWEN! Mama asked you to put your cars away. If you don’t, I’m taking them away.”
And every time you ask him to put something away—whether he’s actively playing with it or not—he says “No, I’m just playing!” And then wants to play with whatever you wanted him to put away.
He’ll whine that he “doesn’t want a snack/drink/toy/etc. anymore” and then two minutes later he wants it.
He is starting to get more destructive—he was “helping” by winding Katie’s pack-and-play mobile…and actually doing okay so I left him alone, only to come back five minutes later and it was completely broken off and he was playing with it on the floor.
He’s broken a bunch of toys just rough housing with them or not being careful. I make him throw them in the garbage.
The day care lady had to talk to him today—a first. He was throwing toys at or with another kid. She said they talked about it, he apologized, and things were okay, but she just wanted to let me know. Oh, and he also snuck into the bathroom and was playing at the sink…his shirt was completely drenched when I picked him up after only an hour. I commented that he has just turned into a threenager during the past week or so and she said it appears to be going around.
And potty training. Oh man, don’t get me started on potty training. He had the peeing down completely after really just a week (with just a few accidents after his nap or in the morning, which was to be expected) and poop has been a challenge since day one. So we get home from vacation, and suddenly he’s peeing in his underwear and ON THE FLOOR. And poop is still a huge issue—he knows poop goes in the potty and he’s excited and happy when he does go, yet I typically spend all day cleaning up poopy underwear and his poopy butt because he either doesn’t realize he’s pooping, he does realize and just doesn’t care, or he’s just being super obstinate. I know he’s still learning, but it’s super frustrating.
One time he called me over to tell me he had poop on his foot. Yes, poop. On his foot. And it was completely dried. So I have no idea when or where he stepped in poop (I haven’t smelled it or found it). And then he threw a holy terror tantrum when I made him stick his foot in the bath to clean it. And this was after I had to strip his bed again because he peed in his bed (and on the floor) during his nap. Yes, potty training might just kill me.
Anyone want our threenager? Just temporarily, mind you?