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Inconclusive

I was a few days late, so decided to take a test.

I used a non-digital test—an old one I had leftover from two years ago, one that gives you “lines” results—that I had never had good luck with.

And again, I had no luck. The test was inconclusive. (The “control” window is supposed to have any type of line in it, any amount of color—and nothing appeared. According to the instructions, that meant inconclusive.)

So I went about my day thinking I would take the digital test the next morning—I mean, what better day to find out if we were pregnant or not than on Father’s Day?! :>>

As it happens, that night we were heading over to Mitchell’s for our Hooters wing night and we were BOTH in a mood to drink. Except I was still pretty sure I was pregnant, so I refrained.

Let’s just say it was interesting to be the only sober one for once!

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Temps are being taken.

So I am on my third thermometer (second basal thermometer). I just couldn’t stand waiting THREE minutes for the temp to register, so had to find a new one.

(On a side note, I am completely surprised at how cheap digital thermometers are. At Walmart, there were some basic ones for like $2.98!)

So this morning was the fourth day I’ve taken my temp, and I have to say this is not a fun thing.

Why?

Well, you’re supposed to do it as soon as you wake up, before you move, before you get out of bed, before you pee, before everything. They tell you you should still be half awake when you take it.

And therein lies the problem.

When I’m still half awake, it’s dark. And I can’t see: I don’t have my contacts in—or my glasses on. And I usually have to pee. Badly. There is really no time to fumble for the light, then the thermometer, then my glasses (so I can read the results). I could skip the writing-it-down part, since the thermometer remembers the last result and I could write it down later, but it’s easier to just write it down then.

So what has actually happened?

I usually get up at about 5:30 or 6 to pee, then go back to bed, then take my temp when I actually am ready to get up—usually around 6:45 or 7.

So I’m technically doing it wrong, but I think I’m still close enough that it shouldn’t be a problem.

So we’ll see.

Next month? The Clear Blue Easy Ovulation Monitor. :>>

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Ugh, buying a new thermometer!

So I needed a new thermometer so I can check my temp every morning.

So off I went to Walgreens and bought a store-branded one that said “QUICK 10 SECOND READING!” and yes, it took 10 seconds, but first my temp was 94, a moment later it was 96, and the very next moment was was 97. What is the point of a 10-second read if it’s not in your mouth long enough to be correct (apparently)?

So I took it back.

This time I got a real basal thermometer, and let me tell you it’s strange to see your temperature to TWO decimal points. The yucky thing is this one takes up to THREE MINUTES for a reading. Yep, yuck. And even then, my temperature varied widely—and not even in an increasing manner like before—it was like 97.28 then 96.45 then 98.23.

What gives?

I have to assume this temperature variation is somewhat normal…but it just seems very odd that the first thermometer kept increasing (like it never got a good read) and the second one is all over the place—with temps taken one immediately after the other.

I guess I am just afraid that if the thermometer gives such (to me) skewed results now, what good is it going to be in detecting the temperature increase I’m looking for?

I guess I need to go googling.

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Our intuition is nonexistent.

So this past month, let’s just say we both had a serious gut feeling that I was pregnant. It was a little early to take a pregnancy test—and I know I should have just left well enough alone—but my curiosity got the better of me (of course). So I took the test and it was negative. I decided it was no big deal—as I said, it was a little early to be taking a test (I wasn’t officially late) so maybe it was just too early.

And then I started my period around lunchtime. :(

So much for our intuition—apparently NEITHER of us has any!

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My first pregnancy test ever!

My cycle has never really been normal, but even so, I was still a few days later than normal. (My overall average is like 25 days, but it’s been as early as 21 or as late as 30.) So, I thought “What the hell!?” and decided to take a pregnancy test. I mean, I bought a two-pack 11 months ago in preparation…I might as well get some use out of them! So I peed on the stick and….???

Let’s just say this particular brand has some markings that are considered “inconclusive” — if one of the boxes doesn’t have any marks, if the marks are going the wrong way, etc. So, where I was supposed to have a plus, the vertical line was definite, but the horizonal line was SOOOOO faint as to almost be invisible. The directions said if there was any line at all it meant pregnant, but I was not wholly convinced, since it was really very very faint. Just the vertical line is inconclusive.

So, I read it as inconclusive and decided to wait a few more days. I decided to buy a Clearblue Easy test—with a digital readout that says “pregnant” or “not pregnant.” Stay tuned.

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Our rollercoaster ride.

I actually wrote this on a board where I have a few friends. I had NO idea at the time (obviously) that I was already pregnant…

So, before we got married we knew we didn’t want kids. Just plain didn’t want them. After we got married, we knew we didn’t want kids. Just plain didn’t want them. And we were both okay with that.

Fast forward to Tom being deployed and my grandfather dying two weeks later (so obviously he couldn’t be there). And my cousins (mainly Lisa and Lori) I were talking about how our parents (and their cousins) had really grown apart and we didn’t want that to happen to us and that turned into a discussion on having kids (some of my cousins have kids already) and I wouldn’t mind having a big family (I grew up with huge extended family)… and long story short, I decided I wanted kids. And after talking with Tom, and with him being deployed, yada yada yada, he decided he wanted kids. So we changed our mind and decided to have kids.

We decided to start trying in October 2005 (on our “honeymoon”) and just let nature take its course. I had no idea how long it would take, as I’d been on the pill for almost 10 years, then on Depo for probably four, then back on the pill for a year. My [step]sister got pregnant the month after stopping the pill. A friend got pregnant within a year after going off Depo (supposedly it can take up to two). Other people I talked to said it took anywhere from a month to a year.

The second month, I honestly thought I was pregnant. I [thought I] was late (my cycle has always been very irregular), my breasts were very tender, and I just felt different. Except I wasn’t pregnant. Okay, no biggie, it’s only been two months. Then for the hell of it I tried the ovulation detectors… and I never once ovulated. WTF? Four months, five months, six months, seven months pass. We’re not desperate, but just frustrated. How can it be so hard to get pregnant? We had sex (almost) every day for a month…surely that would work. No. We had sex exactly when we were supposed to (like a two week period, since my cycles are screwy). No dice.

Eight months, nine months pass. Two neighbors had babies, two more got pregnant, and I find out an old friend (who up until now has said they were not having kids)…is pregnant—having gotten pregnant the first night they decided to try. Cue the sappy and/or depressing music. This is the first time I was actually depressed about it (not for long, but still depressed—and Angi, if and when you ever read this, do NOT feel bad! It was VERY short-lived!).

Ten months pass. A neighbor (who just had a baby in February) is now pregnant again after a month of trying. Even though my doc said not to worry until a year has passed, we decide to have hubby tested, just because it’s much easier to test him than me. And his swimmers are fine. So it’s either me and my dusty eggs…or it’s just taking longer than normal.

We are just now starting our eleventh month. Of course, during all this, we’ve known hubby will be deployed. First for a year, then six months, now a year or nine months. We’ve already gone through the rollercoaster of deciding to have a baby, not getting pregnant as quickly as we thought we would, then the thought of him being gone a year and me not wanting to do it all alone (so we stopped trying for a few weeks), to him getting switched back to six months and us going full-steam ahead with the baby-making, but now he’s back to being deployed for a year (or 9-10 months) and part of me says to stop trying because of course, NOW would be the time I got pregnant, when he was going to be gone the entire time. But, if things keep happening (or, rather, NOT happening) like they have been, why worry?

I’m not making myself crazy (even if it seems that way)… I am just getting frustrated. I know life is never easy, but I didn’t think it would be this hard. I mean, as my girlfriend said, you spend your entire early adulthood trying NOT to get pregant and being told you can get pregnant at any time, but when it comes down to it, there are like three days you can get pregnant and it’s harder than you think.