Bah humbug.

Katie tested positive for Covid (her second time!)—she even took two tests. I blame the cesspool of middle school. Tom and I are as boosted as we can be so fingers crossed we don’t get it.

She was super upset and crying when we got the results—she really wanted to go to Gramma’s house. I’m just glad we decided to test her at all because we thought it was just a cold.

Back is at it again.

OMGGGGG Y’ALL. So I hurt my back yesterday just doing housework prepping for the cleaners…but I took an Oxy which pretty much made me forget about it.

Fast forward to the middle of the night when I woke up and couldn’t move! Freaked me out until I realized that the Oxy had just worn off and my back was super sore again—and it was just tough to move.

Stayed in bed laying down because it didn’t hurt if I wasn’t moving. Got out of bed at 9 to take another Oxy and sat on the couch hoping to take a nap until it started working…but the dogs kept playing and making noise and jumping on me and waking me up. So I kept floating in and out of sleep.

Guess who’s JUST NOW finally getting up?! OMG it’s almost 2:30.

And look who FINALLY settled down now that I need to get up.

One starts today and one finishes today!

Congratulations Owen!

Braces off!
A digital scanner is soooo much better than the putty impressions I had. She doesn’t know how lucky she is.

Katie can only use Snapchat on my phone…so today we did some filters while waiting for the orthodontist. It’s making memories, right?

New grade, new school, new hair!

She’s wanted her hair professionally dyed forever but I’m not gonna drop that amount of money on a kid’s hair…so when I saw an opportunity for a student to do it at lower cost, I figured why not do it as a surprise! She was thrilled!

Taking a secret before photo! I let her wear makeup today!

TA DA!

We also had a talk about how much fun I had hanging out with her today—how much fun she was—without all the sass and attitude and talking back. She agreed. Let’s see if this changes anything…

I’m a fast reader.

A lot of people ask me how I can read so many books so quickly (I’ve finished 116 so far this year). I say I’m a fast reader.

So I just did a test to see.

I listened to 30 minutes of an audiobook at 1.25 speed (the fastest I can stand) and then read the same book for 30 minutes.

Audio book? 30 pages
Visual book? 60 pages

(I don’t have time for audio on a regular basis but listened on my walk this morning. I rarely listen to audio books because I have a hard time keeping my mind on task. Walking is about the only thing I can do.)

There are a bunch of websites that will test your reading speed — the one I took resulted in 387 WPM (Words per Minute). Take this quiz now to check yours!

Fingers crossed.

It’s official. Tom and I have started yet again. Hopefully for the last time.

I’m tired of feeling like shit after gaining back almost everything I lost back in 2015-2016.

I’m beyond tired of being tired and having everything hurt and never having any energy to do anything.

I’m tired of hating myself in every picture.

I’m tired of getting winded walking up a flight of stairs.

I’m tired of buying clothes when I literally have an entirely new wardrobe in my closet. (And I hate staring at a closet full of clothes I can’t wear.)

So even though I absolutely love food and sugar (and margaritas!) and I have zero energy for exercise…and even walking makes everything hurt…I have got to do this. Got to.

I’ve figured out some reasons why it was easier the last time… One, I was younger.  But two, and most importantly, we didn’t really see friends that often for meals. Huh? Why would that matter? Well, it was easier to just have our little meals and use our timers and everything. When we did have a party or dinner with friends, it was one night of debauchery. 

These days? We usually eat dinner with our best friends anywhere from 2-5 nights a week. Sometimes with apps and always with drinks. SINCE BEFORE THE PANDEMIC. And we go out for dinner probably 2x a month. Is it any wonder I’ve gained it all back?

I’m not sure how I’m going to do this going forward because I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to do all the right things all the time… But I have to try. One day at a time.

Fingers crossed.

Yep, both ankles.

I guess it’s been a hot second since I’ve taken a tumble and hurt BOTH my ankles… I was walking home from watching Owen practice hitting with the pitching machine at the park…and stepped off the curb and must have hit the raised edge just right (they haven’t finished repaving yet) in my flip flops and went down. Thankfully I can walk and nothing is broken but I know I’ll be sore for days.

Calgon, take me away!

Owen’s baseball stuff is in Tom’s truck BECAUSE OF COURSE IT IS.

I don’t have enough time to go get his stuff and make it back to pick him up from strength training and then get to baseball camp.

Owen doesn’t want to go to baseball camp anyway because his arm hurts.

Oh, and he doesn’t want to go to baseball camp at all anymore because “he knows everything already” — forget that we spent $200 on it.

Tom isn’t answering his texts.

I checked Owen’s summer health class scores and they are not where they should be.

The housekeepers come tomorrow, and I just want to burn the house down.

And the new swipe keyboard I’m testing is a disaster.

Our first ever visit to urgent care

Owen came home from school complaining of a sore throat. He said the dreaded words: it feels like swallowing glass.

Unfortunately… there were no appointments available at the hospital as everything was shutting down for the storm. So…I researched which urgent care we could go to and off we went!

Thankfully it was just minutes from our house and we got in quickly. We had to wait for a rapid strep test plus they took a Covid test. Strep was negative so it was off to Target for some throat drops. We did a rapid Covid and it was negative…so I just think he had a cold with nasal drainage causing the sore throat.

It’s probably fibromyalgia.

Today’s the day I hopefully get SOME answers. I’m already annoyed because I never got a phone call with any results and it’s been over a month! I even called to check and they told me (paraphrasing) that he’s really busy and wears a lot of hats — implying that this wait is normal.

So the lab results and x-rays showed absolutely nothing. There was something in the lab work that was ever so slightly elevated but nothing to worry about at all. So at least there’s nothing like rheumatoid arthritis or anything serious going on.

So he wants me to see a rheumatologist just to see if they find anything else. But in the meantime he said he’s 95% sure it’s fibromyalgia.

In the meantime, I need to lose weight, watch my diet, and start taking blood pressure medication because my blood pressure is really high — HE WANTS ME TO LOWER MY SALT INTAKE AND EAT LESS RED MEAT.

When I told Tom, he said I needed a new doctor. LOL

Today’s tip? Don’t get old.

I apparently tweaked my back last night leaving the reception—and didn’t realize it until this morning when I tried to get up and out of bed and realized I had more than my usual amount of pain.

Walking out, I had half stumbled on some rocks (in my stupid heels—why did I try to be fancy?!) and “caught” myself. (But aren’t they fancy?! They looked amazing!)

I can walk (thankfully) but can’t bend at all. And Tom had to help me put my underwear and pants on. But isn’t that what marriage is all about?!

Four hours from door to door!

So I’ve had sore joints for about the last 3-4 months…some days are worse than others, but it didn’t seem to be getting any better. So I finally decided to get it checked out since it wasn’t going away.

So today I’m at the hospital (where all my docs are) to hopefully figure out what has been going on with me.

I just might be getting old. It might be arthritis. It might be something else entirely. I’m sure some of it has to do with all the weight I’ve gained but it can’t be the entire reason because, like, my toes ache in the morning. So, fingers crossed we get some answers.

I didn’t plan to be gone all morning but the doc ordered labs and x-rays and prescriptions—and wanted me to schedule a vascular surgeon consult and stop at prosthetics to get some compression hose.

I got three prescriptions, I have four pair of compression hose coming (yuck), I got about 20 x-rays on my ankles/knees/elbows, I got 6 vials of blood drawn, I am waiting for the referral to schedule the vascular surgeon consult, and now we wait for x-ray and lab results.

OH! And my blood pressure was really high. It has never been high except for a few rare and random times during pregnancy. So I’m taking it at home for a week or so to let him know if it continues. I’m sure losing weight will help with that, but in the meantime that’s a little scary.

All the feelings tonight.

It’s really strange being here at my dad and Lin’s house…and he’s not here. I keep expecting to see him shuffling in to say good morning, coming to the table for lunch, grabbing a Coke from the fridge, sitting in his rocker, sneaking some cookies, or giving him a kiss goodnight.

But at the same time — and of course something I feel immensely guilty about — is that it’s almost… easier? less stressful? a sense of relief? because there was so much involved in his daily care and dealing with his anxiety.

I’ve pretty much been avoiding any serious grieving before now because we only really saw him 2-3x a year so it was mostly “out of sight out of mind” (as crass as that may sound). But being here…and the memorial service is later this morning…well, I predict I will be a hot freaking mess. Just writing this is hard.

I don’t want to adult today.

Four years ago, August 11, 2018.

Official Covid Day 4 report

Library book update: I finished book #4, read a super quick short story #5, and am 8% through book #6.

I actually feel pretty good today. Covid has not made me sleepy tired (just physically exhausted) so I was up reading until 1:30am—but then I slept pretty well (even considering I was 95% stuffed up) until 9:30! It was too hot and humid to read outside so I’ve been inside. I still get the morning headache but Excedrin still works. My voice sounds crazy but otherwise I think I’m on the mend.