The story of my life.
Category Archives: Fails
I got this puzzle from Amazon Vine and it was a big fail.
We thought we were missing pieces after our first edge-piece sort so sorted again. And then again when we only found one additional piece. And a third time just because we couldn’t believe it. We talked about not even doing it, but it really was a fun and somewhat easy puzzle so we continued.
And this is what we ended up with. I didn’t even count the missing pieces because it was so crazy. Not just a piece. Not just an edge. But a ton of random pieces!! Sooo disappointing!
Needless to say it got a 1-star review.
I’m giving myself 19 months.
Okay, friends. Be gentle with me. 🥰
This is completely embarrassing to post because it shows my failure. And the before pictures are awful. 🤮 But I’m hoping that my journey might help inspire some of you here as well so…
I was soooo proud of myself back in 2015-2016 when I lost 141#! I was on top of the world! 🌎
I was finally thin for the first time in my life. I swore I would keep the weight off because it had been technically easy to lose and the process was easy enough to maintain.
Until it wasn’t.
A few pounds here, a few pounds there. It’s okay, I told myself, I’ve still lost 130#! Then 120. Then 100# is still amazing! 🤦🏻♀️ The saying is true—you can’t gain 20 if you don’t gain 10.
But it continued. A PCS (military move), no friends, a new lifestyle, excuses, no exercise (I missed my most awesome walking trail through the woods). But I was still able to wear the clothes I had (I had kept a single size above my lowest weight).
But then we had friends! YAY FRIENDS! And we were always having dinners and parties and cookouts and drinking and all the things.
🦠And then COVID. And we drank even more than we used to. And didn’t exercise. And ate even more. I tried halfheartedly a few times and would lose 10-15 but would then immediately gain it back.
But about a week ago I decided it was time to get serious. My acid reflux is back with a vengeance (I totally forgot I used to have that), I’ve had to obviously buy fat clothes again, I’m winded by the easiest things, I have arthritis in my knee, and my skin feels tight all over because too much fat is stuffed in there. 🐖
I think my body knew I needed a serious reset as I got struck with a stomach bug that kind of jump started my new (old) lifestyle. I haven’t really been hungry in a week so I’m enjoying it while it lasts. And I’ve started walking again (which I posted in here the other day). 🚶🏻♀️
🎯My goal is to lose EVERYTHING again by the time I’m 50… which gives me 19 months. And I’m posting publicly so I will have major accountability. And to ask y’all for support, whether it’s via your thoughts, your keyboard, or in person. This is much harder this time around but I know I can do it. I HAVE TO DO IT.
HERE WE GO!
Football Lip Fail
I didn’t have high hopes because my lips are very poorly shaped to be a football from the start…and it was indeed a spectacular failure.
This is one reason why I never nap.
UGH. Kids.
I never nap. Like legit almost never. But this morning was one of those rare times. So what happens?
Let’s just say this is the look of someone who had probably only been asleep for five %#@$ minutes when an unnamed 9yo decided to wake me up to ask where her dad was. Because obviously I’d know since I WAS SLEEPING.
I told her I didn’t know. And guess where he was? About 10’ away in the kitchen. AYFKM?
WHYYYYYYY?!?!!!
All the swears, you guys…ALL.THE.SWEARS
I screwed it up when I did a shirt like this for his 11th birthday, too. I managed to fix that one but this one I’m just leaving.
I asked and turns out I did design it correctly but I forgot to “weld” the design to print as one solid piece… so the Cricut assumed it knew better than me and rearranged the design to use less vinyl. Lesson learned.
Aaaand now new flooring.
When you decide the laundry room floor needs to be replaced before the new machines arrive in three days…
Tom did this today. He’s awesome. (Oh, and he has time to do this because he hasn’t actually had a full day of work yet even though Monday was his first day!)
But check this out. This is what he found when he removed the vent cover! If you look closely you can see something growing in the second pic. Good lord—what on earth happened in the laundry room?!
HOMEOWNER ADVICE
Everyone go check your dryers right now and clean every speck of lint from every single crevice. Detach and open things if you need to.
Our dryer stopped working last week so we filed a home warranty claim. The tech came and looked and said that there had been a dryer fire at some point — which we hadn’t known for sure but suspected since there were marks in the dryer when we moved in 18 months ago (and honestly we didn’t give it a second thought because the dryer worked fine). We clean the lint very frequently so didn’t worry about it.
But!
The Warranty claim was denied. The powers that be said it was a lint fire and that is never covered because “annual dryer maintenance” is the homeowners responsibility and since we’ve lived here for 18 months, it was our responsibility to find it. Even though it’s worked fine for 18 months.
The tech said that he could tell just by looking in there (when he opened it all up) that the previous owners had probably never taken care of it because there was lint falling out. (He said he really doesn’t think you have to do it every year but that’s how the insurance company screws you out of claims.)
So I asked his opinion on the best avenue to fight the decision and he said we can’t. It’s done.
So that’s it. We’re out the entire cost.
The good news? The new set will be here Friday AND Tom started his new job today.
The kids are doing it again.
Cell phone providers—UGHHHHH.
Waiting to buy phones? No wait at all. Trying to fix problems and get numbers ported? Ugh.
It was probably an hour in hold just to get someone and then the rest fixing and waiting. And we’re still not done.
Console table delivery attempt #2!
FAIL.
We are pretty sure this was the exact table they tried to deliver the first time. Now we get to wait another 6-8 weeks and cross our fingers that they don’t try this again.
I cannot understand how this happens.
When we moved in, I sorted and organized ALL the Tupperware and got rid of ALL mismatched pieces. Fast forward to now and after sorting, this is a FRACTION of the mismatched pieces.
How? How the hell does this happen? I am missing like six bottoms of one type of container. SIX! That’s not just misplaced or accidentally ruined. And some of the missing pieces are sets I literally just bought within the last two months. GRRRR.
One word: kids.
Katie lost almost everything in her room today.
Today Katie was invited to her friend Sophia’s and decided to paint her nails instead of cleaning her room like she’s been asked to do for a week plus multiple times today… while she was obviously supposed to be working on her room.
She has had multiple last-chance warnings about cleaning her room. She knew the consequences.
So Tom and I immediately went up with garbage bags and cleaned it out. Everything just got shoved into bags and Tom gathered all the big stuff (like her new rainbow carpet and cushy chair) and hauled it into the guestroom.
All the crap that was on the floor? Gone.
Clothes, towels, shoes? Gone.
Makeup, Legos, Pokémon cards, games, colored pencils/markers/crayons, books? If it was on the dresser in a mess or on the floor? All gone.
Anything that had been shoved in her closet? Gone.
Brand new clothes she just shoved somewhere instead of putting them away? Gone.
There was sooooo much screaming and pleading and crying. Owen was even crying about it and begging us not to do it because he loves her. But unfortunately she needed to learn we are serious. Eventually she even admitted she didn’t think we’d do it. Now she knows we’re serious.
But we heard it all from her: We are the worst parents ever. We don’t care about anyone. Everyone is going to hate her. She’s going to tell everyone at school about this. She wishes she lived somewhere else. She has the worst life ever. This is the worst day ever. She will hate us forever. We will regret this.
We did tell her she has the power to get everything back—she just has to keep her room clean and we’ll let her pick some stuff. To which she snotted back “Well there’s nothing left in here!” To which we replied “Then it should be easy!”
So this is what the guestroom looks like…again. (You might remember we did this once already. Plus did it once at the last house.) But she’s just not getting it.
Needless to say we are both mentally and physically exhausted after this 1.5 hour-long process.
The TOTALLY unbelievable ottoman saga.
It started waaaay back in July. We ordered two pieces from The Roomstore on July 3 with delivery on July 10. Easy, right?
Except that the ottoman was damaged—it had a cracked foot (that fell apart when unwrapped) and a badly ripped corner.
Okay. Crap happens, we get it. So we scheduled another attempt—just thankful they had more in stock since in-stock furniture is hard to come by. So they attempted again on July 13 (#2) and…it was ripped on an edge.
Our friends told us to just cancel it but it’s soooo pretty—it’s the perfect color and perfect size, plus it’s a storage ottoman. We asked for a discount and they refused, saying they’ll just exchange it.
On July 16 they attempted again (#3) and this time we made them unwrap it before they even brought it in the house. Nope. Two of the “squares” were so unbelievably discolored it was ridiculous that anyone looking at it for a second would assume it was good to deliver. I don’t have a photo of this one.
The next exchange (#4) was scheduled for July 20. This one was actually the least damaged of them all but the colors were off. Again. Not as bad as the first one but still unfit to accept.
SURPRISE SURPRISE—delivery attempt #5 on July 23 was a fail. Damaged. The inside edge was really scratched. It wasn’t visible, but the piece was expensive, so we figure it should be perfect to start with. Right? But we told the customer service person that we would accept it at a big discount and she offered us $50. On a $1100 ottoman. Um, no.
They told us it would be another month for delivery because they are getting one straight from the manufacturer to hopefully avoid any issues. UGH. At this point I really just wanted to be done with them, but it’s the perfect color, shape, size, etc.
Previous to this, Tom had talked to managers a few times and they assured him that we would be getting white glove service—that someone would be in the warehouse and looking it over first before it got loaded on the truck. Yeah no. That never happened. As evidenced by the continued arrival of damaged ottomans.
But then! We got a call saying they were going to deliver again. How? What happened to getting one straight from the manufacturer? Honestly at this point I don’t remember all the lies but I do know that they cancelled a few attempts because they discovered before or while loading it that it was damaged. I have texts from 7/28, 7/31, 8/11, 8/12, and 8/19—all of which I think were attempts that got cancelled. So maybe now a manager was actually checking them?!
So, fast forward through almost a month of attempts and cancellations and reschedules and talks with Customer Service (and Tweets!) that accomplished exactly nothing. (Oh wait! Tom had talked to customer service a few more times and they ended up giving us a $75 store credit and another time they refunded our $199 delivery fees. They then turned the store credit into an actual $75 credit but we never saw it on our account.)
8/19 — No idea what actual delivery attempt, but it was a FAIL. The outside had had packing tape on it, so when they ripped it off… OMFG… the color ripped off.
Tom tried to get store managers and it proved to be near impossible. He did finally get one and they basically told him they’d just keep trying. I want to give up but I want this damn ottoman because I haven’t found anything else this size or color or with storage in my search (and I’ve been searching)!
8/25 — Surprise surprise. Ottoman delivery attempt FAIL. It was scratched in two places and when the delivery guys went to try leather conditioner to fix it, it took the color off!
We decided enough was enough and even though it was a perfect size/shape/color, we couldn’t have something that got ruined that easily. (We had also noticed that we were scratching it just in daily use.) So we decided that we wanted to send both pieces from them back. Why both? Well, we bought them together (to go together) and if we couldn’t have one, we didn’t want either. Also? The loveseat turned out to be really crappy and was already getting deformed. We technically don’t need it since we found our real one elsewhere (after) and are just waiting for it to come in.
Well of course they fought it. Tom said if they refuse we will tell them we expect an ottoman delivery every Saturday from here on out until we’re happy…or they take both pieces. It was just ridiculous. Had they just given us a respectable discount to keep a less-damaged one, we would have been done with this in July. I mean, how much time and money did they waste attempting delivery of like nine ottomans?
After like 10 minutes on hold, the manager came back and said they will pick up both pieces! YAY! But also boo because I loved this ottoman. So now we are on the hunt.
This is not a band-aid.
GRRRR!! KATIE! I needed a band-aid and pulled out the box from under the sink. Nope. Makeup. So this means she used ALL OF THEM and then not only didn’t tell us, but stored her own crap in there.
KIDS!!!
So this is frightening.
I just received a whole handful of letters from Northwestern all saying the same thing—their records indicate I don’t have insurance to cover my recent services. Except everything (or almost everything) was already approved. Sigh. This shit exhausts me.
The crazy shitshow Abbvie job saga…is over.
Soooooooo…
Tom just finally heard today about the Abbvie job that they had basically told him they were CREATING FOR HIM… that he’s been waiting for for 2+ months…
He didn’t get it. There was someone with more experience who was hired last week.
What a kick in the ass.
So now he’s like months behind because he worked for them for a few months (instead of looking while he was still in the Marines), then has been off for three months waiting for them to get their shit together. Not doing anything to look for a job because we thought this was pretty guaranteed. (Granted we should have been adults and prepping for this, but we honestly thought it was like 99% guaranteed.)
It has been a shitshow since the beginning though. And he just found out like a week ago that — get this — the HR person he had been dealing with? Was fired or left or something and no one picked up her duties, which included contacting Tom. So they finally scheduled a Zoom call with him…just to tell him he wasn’t hired.
So now we’ll have a mad rush trying to get his CV together and find local jobs to apply for. And hope he can find something quickly because our savings is way low with all the house stuff we’ve been stupidly doing assuming he’d have a good paying job by now.
Sigh. Life.
The Ottoman Saga
The first one they tried to deliver had a cracked foot and a really ripped corner. The foot actually totally split and fell off in our house. We didn’t accept it.
The second one had a ripped corner. The third one had leather squares that were totally different colors (I sadly didn’t get a photo of that).
Today was their fourth attempt and it had a little bit of discoloration again but not as bad as the last try—but the interior (when you lift the lid) was all scratched up. So we had to send it back again.
This one was actually the least ruined of them all so far and we told the customer service person that we would accept it at a discount and she offered us $50. On a $1500 ottoman. Ummm no. But sure, let’s keep messing around.
So now we get to wait two weeks for the next attempt because they are getting some new ones direct from the manufacturer in the hopes of getting an acceptable one. With all the prior attempts it was generally 3-4 days.
Our fingers are crossed but we really don’t think it’s gonna happen until number eight or nine.
Of course this happens to us.
We got delivery of our gorgeous ottoman today. Or should I say attempted delivery! One of the wooden feet was completely cracked—and there was a huge rip on the corner. So they are taking it back and bringing us another. Thankfully they said they had like 8 in stock.
This is what it looks like (at the store). That’s also the temporary loveseat we bought. (It doesn’t really match the other couch at all but we needed something until we can find/order what we really want. Furniture is really backed up just like everything else due to Covid.)
Who brings a wet towel to a pool?
At one of my happy places with the kids—the community pool—so my daily annoyance level stays low.
But y’all. One of my kids BROUGHT A WET TOWEL. Like seriously. But I’m a good mom and draped it over a deck chair so it will hopefully dry.
(I’m also getting in a little bit of work so I can feel like I accomplished something today!! I love not sitting in an office to work!)
SHOW OF HANDS: Whose kids would also bring a wet towel to the pool?!
The best laid plans.
Tom was out fishing with the dads and I envisioned a relaxing morning watching movies with the kids. Ha. Hahahahahahah.
Instead I spent the entire morning cleaning up dog pee…Maggie peed through Katie’s comforter and sheets and thankfully we have Waterproof mattress protectors otherwise the mattress would have been done for.
She also peed outside our door. And had peed earlier this week that I didn’t get out the Rug Doctor for. The worst part is she also got Charlie’s cat bed so that needs to be washed and Katie is so angry that the bed will no longer smell like Charlie.
Since I had to clean all that l just cleaned the whole upstairs hallway plus half of our bedroom (lots of cat hairball vomit stains). And I needed to do the entrance to each kids room because it’s just filthy. I showed them the gray water so they can hopefully understand.
Oh, and anyone want to guess just how many colors I found on Katie’s carpet once she picked up all her crap so I could clean the pee?! I swear I’m about to rip the carpet out and just leave her with wood floors.
I was excited for a hot second.
Anna and I went shopping in Copper Harbor and while she ran back into a store I looked down and saw my odometer said 9999.9 and I was suuuuuper excited that I caught it! So I was taking pics of it so I’d remember where we were… And then realized that that was the TRIP odometer and the actual odometer was already past 10,000. Lordy.
Guess what we just discovered?!
The damn garage freezer motor stopped working so we had a mad rush to go buy a freezer. And of course there are basically none in stock anywhere so we get what we get.
At least we’ve done this multiple times and we have a system down pat.
I’m not 100% sure why we’re not getting the full life expectancy out of our freezers but my guess is that they don’t like to be moved multiple times over hundreds of miles. Or be in the garage.
I tried to get some new birch artwork.
The story of my life.
I’ve been casually looking at birch prints, saying if I ever found one I loved (and it was in budget) I’d get it. So when I saw this artist on Facebook and fell in love with the style, I searched and he had birch options! So I found one I absolutely loved and after much thought, went ahead and got it.
Aaaaaand…it looks totally different and I don’t like it. I mean it’s similar and obviously the “same” but it doesn’t have the same feel at all.
The birch trees don’t look enough like real birch trees. (The ones along the right side don’t look like birch trees at all.) The limbs on the left set of trees look like half circles instead of branches. The path is too defined. There’s too much orange and red. The style is similar but not what I wanted.
Now, caveat, these are copies of originals. As in painters copy the style of the original. But I thought it would be a much better copy.
They do have a return policy so I started that process. Their customer service is pretty good and they gave me some options:
Thank you very much for your purchase. I’m sorry that you do not like the painting. We want you to be satisfied with our services. We have the following options for you
1 – you can return with prepaid return label . After the return, we issue a full refund. Please request the return label if you wish one
2 – we can provide a replacement of the same piece/s in form of prints on canvas. This way the image of the master original will be reproduced by a machine in its original size. This option does not require return
3- Free exchange for a different painting altogether or exchange for the same painting that you will like better
For all options we will be sending images for approval prior to shipping . Only after you approve the new piece, we will proceed with the shipping.
I was debating 2 or 3 and ended up going with 3 to try again…and that piece was just as bad. I don’t think they looked at my feedback at all—they just grabbed another off the shelf and sent the pic. Nope. I’ve asked for a return label.
Just out of curiosity, I asked what Facebook thought and everyone agreed it was pretty much a shitshow. So I’m disappointed.
Poor bacon.
This is how my day is going. And guess what? It happened on the second batch, too.
I forgot to bring the wine inside!
The good thing about having snow on the deck? Extra freezer space. The bad thing? Out of sight, out of mind. Whoops! (We let it defrost in the fridge and it was perfectly delicious the following night!)
Oliver Blueberry Moscato – didn’t taste like blueberry at all but was very yummy
Just 14 months and 7 days after we ordered it…
So way back in November 2019 we backed this awesome table on Kickstarter. It is the size of a bench (18″)…but expands up to 118″. Cool, right? We certainly thought so, so after much debate (since it was expensive), we did it. We also figured since this was their second Kickstarter they knew what they were doing. The estimated delivery was supposed to be the following month.
Without going into too much detail, it got pushed back a little at a time for a variety of reasons. And then they stopped communicating. And then they’d come out with more delays. Now, we know stuff happens. You have materials procurement issues, warehouse delays, a factory closure, or any other assortment of shit. But they were ridiculous—plus they weren’t communicating. And then…Covid. Which REALLY messed with things. Everyone was furious. Some managed to get their money back (it was a long and arduous process since by that time we were far beyond a credit card’s chargeback time limit). Some received communication but most didn’t. There was lots of drama.
And then fast forward months and months and people started receiving them…and it wasn’t good. Broken pieces, missing pieces, super soft/unusable table tops…and we got worried. We wondered if we shouldn’t try to get our money back. But we held out because we really wanted it…aaaand I knew how much work and effort it would take to attempt to get our money back.
And then we got the call! I almost didn’t answer it because it looked like a spam call—but I recognized the Canadian call and took it. And scheduled our delivery!! Three days later we had it!
So without further ado, here it is!
So now we have to get rid of the two tables we have—our original butterfly leaf table that we’ve had for probably 8-9 years plus the smaller temporary one we bought for this kitchen after we moved in. Normally that wouldn’t be hard but we need to keep the chairs… So Tom may end up cannibalizing the tables to make other things!
I can’t wait to have our first big dinner at this table!!
So this is what happens when I try to go to bed early like a normal person.
10:30 Lights out, phone off.
10:40 Maggie leaves room obnoxiously loud.
10:45 Maggie continues to be loud in the hallway so I get up to check on her in case she’s stuck in her sweater. Can’t see her.
10:50 Back in bed, I notice Tom’s CPAP is making horrible sounds and debate waking him up.
10:55 Maggie is scratching obnoxiously somewhere and…banging against a door?! I get up and find her and take her sweater off just in case.
11:00 Back in bed once again, I hear strange thumps downstairs.
11:05 I hear more strange noises. I try to ignore them.
11:10 I hear more strange noises so get up. Maggie wants to go outside.
11:15 Bella starts meowing for food because I’m standing in the kitchen.
11:20 I feed Bella and Maggie.
11:25 I finally get back into bed
11:30 I’m wide awake but tired because I took melatonin an hour ago…
These are not even close to Durkee fried onions.
A totally inferior substitute to be sure. I will never cheap out again.
First broken ornament.
Tom accidentally knocked it off the tree when he was trying to fix something for me so I can’t even be upset!
This just means we have to go back to Mackinac Island. Hopefully this coming summer?!