OMG STFU!

The most annoying guy in the world was sitting directly behind us on the ATL > FLL leg of our flight today. He did not shut up from the moment he sat down to the moment we deplaned. I felt so bad for the poor lady sitting next to him…

He seriously had diarrhea of the mouth and jumped from one topic to the next—sometimes with segues, sometimes without. And it was all bizarro. Had I had an Internet connection, I would seriously have live tweeted the range of topics because it was unbelievable. I did briefly think about typing them anyway…but he was so annoying to listen to that I couldn’t wait to put my headphones on to try and drown him out.

Some of the topics included:

  1. His Italian family and how they liked to cook.
  2. How his dad once worked for the NSA and made $700,000 a year.
  3. How a friend invited him over to hang out once and wanted him to do marijuana so he’s not friends with him anymore.
  4. How he was a wrestler in high school.
  5. How his friend who was accepted into Harvard Medical showed him a study about runners and how /something or other/ was wrong with their feet.
  6. The difference between anaerobic and aerobic exercise and which is better to build muscle mass.
  7. How he went fishing in this lake one time and there were red-spotted tilapia and black-spotted tilapia and yellow-spotted tilapia and green- spotted tilapia and he and his buddies caught a bunch but no one wanted to cook any so they threw them all away. And there was an alligator in that lake, too.
  8. AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON. For two hours straight.

It. Was. Mind-numbing.

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