This is a great letter a friend wrote about his recent experience at the theater.
We are trying to convince him to write it as a Letter to the Editor! He sent it to the local newspaper blogger and they published it!
To the Woman Sitting Behind Me at Fiddler on the Roof:
Thanks so much for your recent performance. I could tell you are not a professional performer due the fact you were unable to hit the right notes and you didn’t care about pitch or tone. But kudos to you for belting out every song like you were one of the trained, highly skilled and experienced performers up on stage. You didn’t let your lack of traditional talent get in the way! I also liked the way you, at times, sung all the lyrics half a second ahead of the people on stage, obviously to let those around you know that you had, in fact, memorized the lyrics and weren’t just singing along. I caught what you were doing, you sneaky devil, and am in awe of your skill!
I also noticed all the other touches your brought to the performance. It was very helpful that you blurted out the names of each new character that came on stage and let out a spastic little round of applause like an excited 3-year-old at Christmas. I’m glad I didn’t have to wait for the story to unfold as the writer intended. An added bonus was you blurting out the punchlines to the jokes ahead of the actors. Obviously the comedic timing of the actors was off and you corrected it all by speeding it up. Good job! And your enthusiastic clapping along to the music, when no one else in the audience was, really added to the performance. Why would I want to hear the trained orchestra when I could hear that wonderful clapping? I loved that you didn’t choose to clap on the beat, as most people would, but sort of randomly clapped here and there, imitating (in an obviously mocking fashion) people who have no rhythm. What a great interpretation!
Finally, at the end of the performance, I loved the loss of hearing I temporarily enjoyed as you repeatedly shouted, at the the top of your lungs, “Bravo,” and “Topol,” (refering to name of the actor in the lead role) directly into my right ear. Yes, the standing ovation the rest of the theater engaged in seemed like a spit in the face compared to your enthusiastic celebration of the performance.
Your new fan,
PS: I heard you mention on your way out of the theater that you had tickets to an upcoming performance of Cabaret. I just checked my calendar and it is with great disappointment I must tell your that I will be busy with other engagements during that show’s entire run.